somedude81 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 It's become very apparent that there are several guys on this forum who do very well with women. There are also many guys on this forum who do absolutely horrible. It's like the income disparity where there are billionaires and then there are people trying to live on $10 a week. So you guys who know what you are doing. Please give some tips and advice. Or tell about how you figured out attraction. Anything that you feel can help. Consider it a gift to your fellow man. (Please keep all arguing and judgmental comments out of this thread)
Author somedude81 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Good looks obviously. Yes they have a part but are just the tip of the iceberg.
carhill Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 One way is by overtly showing them (by words and actions) that you are attracted to them. IME, as an 'average', predominantly 'nice' guy, that is what made the difference. The more obvious the attraction, the stronger the response (from her) if there is potential. 11
Author somedude81 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 One way is by overtly showing them (by words and actions) that you are attracted to them. IME, as an 'average', predominantly 'nice' guy, that is what made the difference. The more obvious the attraction, the stronger the response (from her) if there is potential. How soon and strongly do you do this? For example you're in some sort of situation where you see the woman once a week. Do you right away show your attraction to her? Are there preferred ways to show a strong attraction?
movingon12 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 You're thinking of 'women' as one identical set. There is no 'correct' way to attract a woman. The night I met the man who became my husband he called me 2 minutes after we said goodbye to check i got home ok and again 10 minutes after that. I liked that about him. But other girls would find that too much. You have to be yourself. Do what feels right to you. That way you'll end up meeting a girl who is a good match for you. If all you do is copy other peoples ideas you wont know if she actually likes the way you are. You need to be free to be yourself so you can both decide if the relationship is working for you. If you're just trying to hook up though I can't give you any advice. Well: be really, really good looking - that should do it. 5
Author somedude81 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Well I would start here: The Answer to Everyone's Dating Problems I became successful with women through PUA material and studying psychology. But it took years of study, practice and observation. If you're looking for a quick fix (like most people) you won't find one (outside of winning the lottery). So prepare to work long and hard on yourself for at least 2 years. I've studied PU for almost ten years. For some reason I haven't been able to find anything I can apply in my life. Mainly because I have no desire to meet women in bars and clubs.
ThaWholigan Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 You're thinking of 'women' as one identical set. There is no 'correct' way to attract a woman. The night I met the man who became my husband he called me 2 minutes after we said goodbye to check i got home ok and again 10 minutes after that. I liked that about him. But other girls would find that too much. You have to be yourself. Do what feels right to you. That way you'll end up meeting a girl who is a good match for you. If all you do is copy other peoples ideas you wont know if she actually likes the way you are. You need to be free to be yourself so you can both decide if the relationship is working for you. If you're just trying to hook up though I can't give you any advice. Well: be really, really good looking - that should do it. Basically "just be yourself" . If I may add to this extensively..... Somedude, I wish you would take up a martial art like I am planning to do. I have been doing a little reading about Bruce Lee's martial art of Jeet Kune Do - one of the main philosophies that he talks about in it is "absorbing what you need and discarding what you don't", simplifying their approach to the art of fighting that is tailored to them. Having said that, some people take that wrong, what it really means is to immerse yourself in other arts and then after you have a full understanding of them, take the things you need to complement your art and discard the things you don't. I certainly apply that approach to the way I date. I know my strengths and weaknesses: I am naturally a pretty decent looking guy IMO- I could improve upon that though through fitness, better grooming, better fashion. Probably even better posture than I already have for my tall frame. You have to look at it like that, what will I have to do in order to do these things? What style would I like, what would suit me? What kind of body could I realistically achieve? What more could I do to make my face look more attractive? These are the questions you should be asking yourself. I also have a habit of being real talkative in a rather super technical/intellectual way with women, or at least my brother says. He heard me talking to someone on Skype (from here funnily enough ), and he was like "Fam, you get so technical with girls it's funny!". However, that I consider to be a strength, because I'm naturally like that, and I know how to be funny with it too. How do I talk to people, and specifically girls? How can I synthesize the way I talk with a slightly more augmented way of talking? What kind of humor do I normally feel comfortable using? What kind of words do I use and how do I choose them? These are the questions that you should be asking yourself. Every day I try to be a little bolder with women. I tell them things I wouldn't have said when I was an awkward guy. Things I would have told them if I had more balls then. I tell jokes I usually feel comfortable telling to friends, I tell girls in no uncertain terms how sexy I might think they are or am simply comfortable and not afraid to talk about sexual things. I'm more physical with girls than I ever was, not afraid to touch them, play with them and other stuff . How do I reconcile my fear over "repercussions" when attracting women? How do I be more of myself around women, but unashamedly so? How do I stop worrying so much about some women not being attracted to me, and thus being able to find women who do? These are the questions you need to be asking yourself. Lastly, simply have a life. What do I do that is interesting? I'm a musician, I play a few instruments, make instrumentals, audio engineering etc. I could talk about music and sound all day. I also build computers, I know a lot about TV/Movies and other stuff. I have an interest in science, I study astrology, and countless other things I'm comfortable talking about such is my interest in a vast amount of things. Ask yourself: What do I have an interest in that I can interestingly bring across to people? Don't take dating ridiculously seriously. Take it seriously enough that you actively do it, but not enough that it breaks your entire world because it's hard. That you absolutely HAVE to do, even if it's difficult, you absolutely HAVE TO DO IT. There are more things I could say, but I'd rather you ask more questions so I can specifically see if I can help in certain areas. 9
tman666 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Be Don Draper. I'm only sort of kidding. I am by no means an expert in attracting women, and I've been out of practice for almost 5 years now. But I can tell you this: conversational flirting is a must. Being able to be witty is a must. And you have to be able to take your ego and fear of rejection completely out of the equation. Being "safe" never got me ****. Other than that, this is such an open ended question that it's sort of impossible to nail down any sort of exact formula. 3
GorillaTheater Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 And OP.. make sure you read this: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person Its not OP material but is vetry helpful for people in your situation. There's some very good stuff here.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 It shouldn't take years of studying to date women! Me and my partner are both shy, awkward around people, what we love most about each other is we're both compassionate, both veggie, caring, warm hearted, and share many of the same outlooks/views on life. If people as socially awkward (and unconventional) as me and him can find someone we're compatible with, and we both had very LTR's before we were first in touch online, I think anyone can I'm very fussy (and unconventional), but have never had problems meeting a partner, even though I wouldn't date a meat eater, (as animal welfare is something which is close to my heart) which cuts out most of the population. Veggie/vegan people are generally compassionate and have big consciences, which really appeals to me. I think people should concentrate on friends with similar interests, IRL and online, I've made some great friends online, several who I've met, and my partner, the more friends you make and the more people you meet the more likely you are to meet someone you really click with. Concentrate on personality, rather than boob size etc! Well I would start here: The Answer to Everyone's Dating Problems I became successful with women through PUA material and studying psychology. But it took years of study, practice and observation. If you're looking for a quick fix (like most people) you won't find one (outside of winning the lottery). So prepare to work long and hard on yourself for at least 2 years. 2
edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Oh my gawd. Never read so much bs in my life. The best way to attract alot of women is to act like you're superior to them in every way.....Approach/act towards every women like they are vastly inferior to you and you will get more pussy than you can imagine. If you act like they are an equal to you....you will do decent (but not great like if you acted like you were superior) and if you act like they are better than you....you will do horrible. Obviously looks matter aswell...If you're very ugly than you may just be doomed. 1
Imajerk17 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 You mean you want the answer in one post?? A few things: (1) The ability to withstand social tension. A Nice Guy makes nice conversation. A guy who is great with women expresses his romantic interest boldly. (2) Leaning into and expanding your comfort zone. Are you taking on hobbies that expand you? Are you doing cold approaches even though you have "approach anxiety? (3) A passion for something. Ever wonder why rock stars get laid? 3
c57dood Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Here's the secret: Chloroform and bear traps. You'll thank me later. 2
edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I think you have a problem with text comprehension. I never said that More truth to what I said than your "Why don't you become a Buddhist and show some more compassion" crap...that you yourself even admitted doesn't turn you on. 1
todreaminblue Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Well I would start here: The Answer to Everyone's Dating Problems I became successful with women through PUA material and studying psychology. But it took years of study, practice and observation. If you're looking for a quick fix (like most people) you won't find one (outside of winning the lottery). So prepare to work long and hard on yourself for at least 2 years. sigh can i have your addy leisureguy so i can send you a clue by homing hawk? 1
Lonely Ronin Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 1. What they see is what they get. 2. I'm a nice/good person unless you piss me off 3. I'm happy on my own, but I prefer a relationship 4. I have a life of my own (friends, hobbies, interests) 5. I'm not in a rush. I don't jump on the first attractive woman who looks single/interested. I have been known to keep my eye on a woman all night, or even across multiple interactions before i make a move. 6. I have a benevolent dictator personality (or so I have been told)
todreaminblue Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Here's the secret: Chloroform and bear traps. You'll thank me later. assuming the bear trap caught something and the chloroform wore off eventually......... how do you expect that bear to react when you release it....i once tried to remove and rescue a possum not a bear mind you, a possum from a fireplace....sitting there all big eyed and sad lookin....looked a little like me huge pupil eyes, all fuzzy and friendly....shaking....scared or so i thought.... it didnt look so scared when it launched itself matrix style when i put my face near it and my hands to pat the thing...it tried to take my face off.or attach itself like the creature from alien....traumatized me..it moved in slow motion...ok i admit it....i am a little afraid of possums...i always feed them now...new found respect.......and i would never...repeat never ....attempt to chloroform a possum let alone a bear with meter long claws.....deb
todreaminblue Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 1.passion for life in general shows fire 2.determined 3.quiet strength 4.kamikaze soul 5.honesty 6.respect 7.never gives up no matter how hard a situation is....in other words a rock on the inside 8. considerate compassion for others loves hsi family even though they annoy th ecrap out of him he would always help out 9. the ability to make others believe they can do it anything is possible..... 10 not afraid to try even though others say no way....he keeps going 11.attentive 12.one in a million smile 13 cheeky but not rude 14 wont back down if something is right adn does it with grace and style 15 a trooper with a spirit or just a voice inflection that shows all of the above......
Badsingularity Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Feel confident in yourself. Develope inner strength. When you are with women try to feel confident and at ease. Stand up for yourself. Do not agree with a woman just because you want her to like you or you think she will not like what you have to say. If a woman treats you disrespectfully let her know that if she wants to be treated with respect you expect the same from her. Do not whine or complain about small things all the time. Take the lead and try to be assertive. Think about how women feel about certain issues put yourself in their shoes every once in a while so you will have a better understanding of them. 2
mesmerized Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I think you have already heard any advice that could possibly be given in the tons of threads you have made about this subject. The reason you feel the need to post the same thing over and over again here is the same reason as to why you can't succeed with women. 3
KungFuJoe Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I think you have already heard any advice that could possibly be given in the tons of threads you have made about this subject. The reason you feel the need to post the same thing over and over again here is the same reason as to why you can't succeed with women. Self fulfilling prophecy.
dasein Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 1. Don't care too much. If you can take your ego out of meeting women, impersonalize the process some, you are halfway there. Read some sales prospecting training books. A strange woman is just a sales prospect, lots say no, every no gets closer to a yes. 2. Quantity of approaches. Are you meeting five people of all sorts every week? Are you going where single women are and talking to them? Are you asking out at the very least 3-5 women a month? Many of the guys who constantly have women are successful merely due to quantity and effort, you just don't see their effort. 3. Social circle. Do you have a group of friends who have single women friends and socialize together, casual parties, dinner parties? If not, get busy making some new friends. That's 101, and if the above doesn't work, you will be the first I've heard of and more remedial measures called for. Good luck.
c57dood Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 assuming the bear trap caught something and the chloroform wore off eventually......... how do you expect that bear to react when you release it....i once tried to remove and rescue a possum not a bear mind you, a possum from a fireplace....sitting there all big eyed and sad lookin....looked a little like me huge pupil eyes, all fuzzy and friendly....shaking....scared or so i thought.... it didnt look so scared when it launched itself matrix style when i put my face near it and my hands to pat the thing...it tried to take my face off.or attach itself like the creature from alien....traumatized me..it moved in slow motion...ok i admit it....i am a little afraid of possums...i always feed them now...new found respect.......and i would never...repeat never ....attempt to chloroform a possum let alone a bear with meter long claws.....deb 1. Go to restaurant and observe girl of your fancy. Note what she is eating. 2. Buy bear trap. 3. Place favorite dish on bear trap, but do your best to conceal the trap under leaves. 4. Wait for her to go over to dish and pick it up. 5. As she picks it up, her hand is caught in bear trap. 6. Chloroform 7. Profit Genius, no? 1
HeavenOrHell Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 A passion for something, absolutely! But has to be something I like as well, or at least can appreciate why he likes it! We have to have a lot of interests in common for me to be interested. You mean you want the answer in one post?? A few things: (1) The ability to withstand social tension. A Nice Guy makes nice conversation. A guy who is great with women expresses his romantic interest boldly. (2) Leaning into and expanding your comfort zone. Are you taking on hobbies that expand you? Are you doing cold approaches even though you have "approach anxiety? (3) A passion for something. Ever wonder why rock stars get laid?
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