Charlotted29 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeahp.. its been that long since contact, since we parted and he decided to start seeing someone else. People say this gets easier but when??! When he has been in your life for 10 years, through family deaths and graduation, knowing he is always there and like 2 peas in a pod.. when does it get easier? We didn't go out for that long, but for the first and last few years of that period we were together, between that we were close friends. It was love, like that of family and of some kind of kindered souls. But he haunts my dreams, and my every silent thought. It's like im carrying around this sadness still and I can't move forward or find peace. Honestly I can't even imagine being with someone else, it's been a year since I have even kissed a man, and that was him. The whole experience has just left me uttlerly fearful of even getting close to someone new. If anyone has any ideas how to let go that would be great.. Link to post Share on other sites
sadpanda87 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 there is no easy way around it im afraid. its taken me 6 months to feel slightly better about my break up of a 5 year relationship. i imagine it'll take 6 more to even get close to being normal first you need to accept the situation, what happened and you need to tell yourself to move on. only then you will actually start healing. i understand how close two people can be, we were practically married and even parents on both sides were visited and all was going so well. its a large part of your life that isnt there anymore and you need to fill it with something you oriented. keep busy, go out with friends and distract yourself with thigns you enjoy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Every day is a step further across the bridge..new experiences and happenings in your life flick paint over the memory of that person, until the days and the paint, totally cover the person/memory...it dullens over time...it's time that helps...patience, and time. Also a pointer, my first xmas without her was last year it hurt like hell, v upset I was, but this year..not so bad at all. A full year is a big step across that bridge..you then think back to a year previous and they're not there, which sub consciously I feel, helps your heart to move forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
heartshapedrocks Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 This is my first Christmas without my EX. We broke up after a 4+yr relationship back in Aug. Every year our tradition was to go to her family's place. We have very minimal contact only because of money & possessions. It is has gotten easier though at times I feel I get setbacks. I am making new traditions for myself not Holiday related, going to the Gym. There has been some drama for her family sent me a gift & liked me. That doesn't go over very well.....I finally had to contact her family thanking them for the gift but take the high road saying I no longer am part of her life.... It was the hardest thing I ever did. Its my life now and I want to make the most of it. You can't drive forward by looking in the rear view mirror is a saying that helps me a lot. Best wishes to take care of yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charlotted29 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 Thank you for all your replies, its so great that there are places like this to come to for advice! I really couldn't keep talking to my friends about it anymore. It is easier said then done but the main thing I have to TRY and do is just to look forward and not back. My mother also said the same thing, if you keep giving it energy, it keeps it alive. After all he isn't thinking about me! It's difficult not to think of the happier times, but somehow you have to not let that disrupt having happier times now. I guess all I can do is try and just hope that the more time passes, the more the memories will fade, and the easier it gets. Link to post Share on other sites
Appleness Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 It gets better over time Charlotted29. I'm in the same boat as you (coming out of a LTR and this being my first Christmas with just my family and friends). HOWEVER, every time I remember that I don't have to spend money on a present for him and his 10 immediate family members, I laugh. Following my best friend's advice, I bought myself a very nice and very expensive present this year that I would have never been able to afford if we were still together. II think you should do something similar if you can afford to. Treat yourself better than he treated you. Make some new memories. I'm sure a few years will go by and we'll start to wonder "well, what did I ever need him for?" Merry Christmas Charlotte29! I'll be drinking a toast to your new-found freedom. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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