Information underminding parents authority

[TwinkletOes26]

I have read several articles and seen several comments in various parneting articles that seem to allude to what is wrong with todays kids is they have access to too much information.Various parents I have heard talking say it is harder to raise a child in todays world when everything you say is questioned not just by society but your children too...my aunt says there was once a time when a child would say "you arent right mom/dad", but now its "you arent right mom/dad and i have researched so I can prove it and show you my sources".

 

children's show critics state that the lack of parental influence in the show teaches kids that adults are not important or if they are around they are incredibily stupid(homer simpson,peter griffin) thus again underminding parental authority.........

 

 

I wanted to get the parents of love shacks opinons on this.. Do parents feel that television and internet have helped to undermind parental authority or is this all this a bunch of poppycock? Also is it harder to raise your child with your value system when they have usually been exposed to other peoples? Does this exposure help or hurt in parenting?

[Radu]

Not a parent but i do believe there is some validity to your theory.

 

I would also add that shows like Teen Mom's generally undermine parental authority.

Not to mention the fact that spanking is now 'abuse'.

 

In the latter's case, the threat of legal repercusions is something only a good citizen fears, while those that are abusive to begin with, won't stop just because of this.

In a way, it also undermines parental authority.

[standtall]

As a father of 3 children, I agree that a lot of TV shows undermine parental authority by the methods you've mentioned. I solve this problem by heavily editing what my children watch. End of story.

[austyre]

Being a father of 5 I feel that my kids are free to choose what they want but as a family we talk on a lot of subjects and have a open discussion about anything me and my wife spend a lot of time with the kids from talking about sex to the ethical rights of animals and talking about the science maths and weapons anything goes really . But subjects that are mentioned outside are home don't really hold much water with my kids because we talk a lot as a family most of the time the kids will come up to me or my wife and discuss most subjects ie especially about the shootings recently in Newton and gun control most recently my daughter who is 12 was discussing with my wife about oral sex and why?

I believe communication and respect for my kids have worked thus far that we don't really follow the crowd ie media and society . My 9yr son has this quote above his door reads ''He will always question tyrants'' lol So I asked what did he mean with that quote '' In regards to people or parents that try to act like tyrants or bullies '' my inlaws where like what/why the heck does he question authority(meaning me) I stlll laugh when I read that quote he put up 2yrs ago:cool: but in all honesty it makes me realize I have responsibility to myself and to them(and him).

If your kid gets more info from anywhere else and not the parents then I suggest that maybe the parent should find out about their:cool: kid

[cocorico]

I have read several articles and seen several comments in various parneting articles that seem to allude to what is wrong with todays kids is they have access to too much information.Various parents I have heard talking say it is harder to raise a child in todays world when everything you say is questioned not just by society but your children too...my aunt says there was once a time when a child would say "you arent right mom/dad", but now its "you arent right mom/dad and i have researched so I can prove it and show you my sources".

 

children's show critics state that the lack of parental influence in the show teaches kids that adults are not important or if they are around they are incredibily stupid(homer simpson,peter griffin) thus again underminding parental authority.........

 

 

I wanted to get the parents of love shacks opinons on this.. Do parents feel that television and internet have helped to undermind parental authority or is this all this a bunch of poppycock? Also is it harder to raise your child with your value system when they have usually been exposed to other peoples? Does this exposure help or hurt in parenting?

 

I've always believed that respect should be earned, not demanded, and if a parent is wrong then they are wrong, whether their kids have realised it (yet) or not.

 

I have parented and step-parented for about three decades and found it got easier with easy access to accurate information and a diversity of views and values, because instead of teaching *what* to think I could focus on teaching them *how* to judge good sources from bad, how to form their own views and how to find others that shared their values (if, for example, they were surrounded by acquisitive classmates in thrall to advertisers). We did not have a TV but instead had many books, and went to real cinemas to see good films, so they were not inundated with the worst excesses of capitalism.

 

And there was never any need for physical punishment.

 

We have respectful inter-generational Rs as a result, where we discuss freely and openly, unlike the parenting Rs of generations past (like with my own parents' generation, and before) which were based on fear initially, and then distrust, and then pity, as the child aged and saw their parents' flaws fully.

[Feelin Frisky]

Society has a serious lack of understanding of what technology means in the way of power and authority dynamics. In fact parents are often WRONG and backward and don't realize that they need to see themselves as products of a primitive information state. They often think in terms of ideals form their parents era where behavior, authority and ideals where hierarchical rather than decidedly egalitarian. My interest in this scientifically has resulted in my theory of a need for a new literacy. I think and write to define this literacy but I am no where near published. My idea is called "socio-technological literacy". It is a literacy of a third order above the first literacy of being able to use language and basic arithmetic and the second literacy of technological literacy which defines our acceptance of things like automobile and air travel, electrical appliances, passive broadcast media like television and radio. The as-yet defined third literacy above these two I see, as I said, as "socio-technological literacy" where it is culturally imperative that everyone understand that the nature of human dialogue has been changed by the so-called "digital" age phenomenon.

 

No people have an articulated understanding and societal policy that interprets the nature of the advent of the change from analog communications to digital. The core of this is "linearity". And linearity in our dialog and media is what has stood as the basis for definition of everything from politics to journalism and historical record-keeping. The change to over-coming linearity which has only been called "non-linearity" so far means the chance for changes in entire fortunes where we must think differently about energy use and whether we really need to travel. If you look at politics for the linear age you see that there are compromises where only elected officials get to know certain things and they get top travel and meet and observe one set of norms and protocols. As linearity is overcome with digital technology it is possible to stay in one place and redesign the entire political complex to use the entire time spectrum.

 

I have had to invent terms and philosophies to be able to articulate how deep the level of change is possible. My knowledge of neuroplasticity of the human brain is cutting edge and it is also imperative to rethink what society's "beliefs" have been about what a person is and how much capacity they have to learn and develop. This understanding is taking time but it is necessary for me to consider before fully express paradigms of human industry, new journalism constructs and a cultural conceptualization of a the phenomenon which must replace "industrial age" thinking. Indeed the wrong people are in power and in control of the future at this time because they are products of the industrial age and think only in hierarchical modalities. The lexicon of succeeding constructs still must be assembled. It floats in my head constantly and motivates every learning choice I make. My experience as a visionary pioneer in journalism is that at 35 years of age I wanted to produce the first major work of digital age journalism on a CD=ROM medium that preceded DVD called CD-I and cover the "Earth Summit" in Rio De Janeiro in 1992. I believed it would have been the most important information in the world meeting the newest medium in the world and made a major historical impact. I did not know the politics of the US industrial complex versus the United Nations at the time and naively believed everyone would want to see the implementation of the outcome of the Earth Summit called Agenda 21. I was unsuccessful in achieving funding for the venture. But had I done this, I would be famous today. My grasp has grown exponentially since then but I am in my 50's now and don't know if I will be the one to beat others to the punch of producing the one work--the one technology that exposes everything which everyone must have. If I had a lot of money I could delegate the development of a media enterprise to put my vision and grasp into motion and make phenomenal money, but I am just one person with flaws who needs a BIG brake.

[TwinkletOes26]

How do you parents handle a child who hears sees a celeb/or media figure who is living their life differently than how you taught your children to live their lives?

 

My mother use to tell me pretty mch anyone who lived their life different than she taught me was the right way was a sinner and will go to hell..LOL.

 

An example i can think of is Kim Kardashian. Mothers today i know try their best to make sure their children dont live their lives like kim k. Well I can imagine it is hard to tell your child this when all they see is kim bringing in the bank. You can not say whether or not she is happy in her life because we arent there to see kim day to day. What do you tell a 6 year old child who wants to be like kim why they shouldnt?

[standtall]

What do you tell a 6 year old child who wants to be like kim why they shouldnt?

 

Just like your mother said. It obviously worked for you.

 

My mother use to tell me pretty much anyone who lived their life different than she taught me was the right way was a sinner and will go to hell..LOL.

[Feelin Frisky]

I'm not a parent so I gave an analytic post above which is probably not useful for practical advice. I think it's fair to say though that all kids need is to understand a parent's reasoning and see the relationship with the parent as "directional" and not just some once-in-a-while anger and restrictiveness that seems to them like irrational indulgence of your temperament. I'm an older man and I don't think I would have done a good job if I had had kids back in the day. The technology freedom and power did not exist then either. But from my perspective I think it's critical for parents to have the new literacy I talked about which will allow them to be very rational to children in ways they can buy into. Parents have to understand the truth about brain development--this dynamic called neuroplasticity--and that it means that a person's capacity for thought grows as they conquer challenges to solving technical and social problems. If you establish a partnership of progress in that regard instead of just appearing an authoritarian, they will cooperate. Parents need to better understand media and know what things like "sensationalism" is and lead their children to realize how it is used by industry to manipulate them without their permission. What any celebrity does or doesn't do is just sensationalistic gossip that some media organization has used to advertise tooth paste of hamburgers to you. You have to lead them to use the net for productive journalism that creates a progress dynamic in your relationship. This a sample of the type of literacy we need--something of a new cultural basis to close an existing generation gap. It could be so wonderful and so uniting if both parents and kids share an understanding of technology and negotiate parameters rather than it appearing that the parent knows nothing most of the time and just over-reacts when they see a sign of something that bothers them. I wish everyone the best in this regard and wish I could help more by having my product ideas out there setting direction.

[TwinkletOes26]

Just like your mother said. It obviously worked for you.

 

Honestly I dont think kim k is as bad as some think. I mean yes she got famous from a sex tape but if I recall it was ray j or one of his friends who released the tape. When the tape was made her and ray j were suppose (key word here) to be a exclusive couple. So it was like a married couple who decided to do something kinky but didnt think anyone would find out. Ive heard of ex husands holding sex tapes over thier ex wives heads when divorcing.

 

Although i do think her family is materialistic but I know lots of people who are. The difference is Kim K has the cash to fund it. I dont think its anyones bees wax as to how she spends her money or lives her life.It isnt as if she is taking money out of my pocket...to each his/her own.

 

My mother taught me her values some stuck(be a good person, help others when you can, do your best in life) and others didnt ("all *insert any racial group that isnt black* are untrustworthy because people who are two different colors cant really be friends",drinking is a sin,going to a club/lounge is a sin,wearing a tank top is a sin,playing pool in a pool hall is a sin,wearing black nail polish is a sin,piercing anything other than ears is a sin,tattoos are a sin) see what I mean? She taught me her values but also tried to force the ones on me that I didnt agree with even to the point of grounding me in 10th grade for dating a guy that was of a different race but claiming to be a god fearing christian.

[TwinkletOes26]

Just like when I as 6 I knew (and most of the kids in my class knew)who Madonna(during her whole borderline and like a virgin phase) was and knew her songs lol. Kids are inventive little creatures thats why. Just like I use to get up at 7 am on Saturdays pretend I was watching cartoons instead I would sneak and watch MTV at 6 (when my mom and grandma slept they slept hard lol) Im sure kids are sneaking and watching the E! channel/new/or blogs regarding her. Kids are inexperienced but they are not blind to the world around them.

 

Im not saying parents shouldnt try to shield kids from things that are inappropriate. My mother didnt allow me at 9 to go see purple rain and that was a very good parental descion... when i finally saw it on tv at 17 i was like ok mom i see why i couldnt see the film lol.

 

I just wanted to know how this new rise in accessible information has affected parents in trying to teach their children how to become productive beings.

[trippi1432]

I think it is harder to raise kids these days with the external influence in their lives. We have drama TV, reality TV, celebrities hitting the headlines with all their woes and troubles...be like this person, that person...etc.

 

Where the parental influence does come in is bringing a child to understanding that those things are not life under normal circumstances. I do reality checks with my son who is 17, been doing them for years actually. Of course I get the general "Come on Mom! I'm not stupid!". Meh, my fears are abated right?

 

What I have learned more, is that parents need the right support system in place to help with their children....that meaning the rest of the family. That is where children will take their biggest example from and model more than not.

 

It's not really about the information being accessible to kids and being able to prove a parent wrong, we all know that our kids know more than we do until they are 30 and go....wow, maybe mom/dad knew what they were talking about, it's more about guiding them on a good path of what to do with that information.

 

Given the fact that most children these days are from broken homes, influence on their lives is much more concern than accessibility to information.