goldengirl11 Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 Not sure what to do here as really want to go to a concert tonight as I have a bit of spare money to do so now, but not sure whether I am seeing my 'friend' later who would also like to see as I don't get to see him that often. This is what he wrote last night... Hi, still planning to meet you tomorrow. How about 6pm in _? But as ever, just want to say, that is assuming I am able to leave the office earlier than usual and nothing else comes up. J is not well and may be beholden on me to go home directly. Will text you tomorrow (but hopefully not in the middle of the funeral). If not, I might be able to do something on Saturday. Sorry. Rx Any suggestions? It's now just gone 9am. Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 Sorry but I don't think anyone here knows what you're talking about? Did you mean to post in this forum? Is your "friend" married or are you married? Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Madam, I hope you went to the concert. If not, I hope he didn't let you down... Today is a day when I spent all day annoyed/upset because my plans to go and see him because he was unwell were scuppered. Just not worth it to place all (or any) eggs in one basket for these crap people...I think I am crazy sometimes but I wonder why I am desperate to relinquish portions of my time (and sanity) for this rubbish!? Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 Sorry but I don't think anyone here knows what you're talking about? Did you mean to post in this forum? Is your "friend" married or are you married? Sorry, he is married. We did meet after all, but after not hearing from him all day had texted him at 5pm to confirm we were still meeting at 6. We ended up meeting at 6.30 after him coming straight from work, so it worked out... except I missed the concert as didn't know when we could meet again. Then tonight he said that we might be able to meet tomorrow. Long day I had as had a funeral to go to in afternoon (my aunts) and ended up getting teary this evening with him. An all round emotional day. Thanks for your reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 Madam, I hope you went to the concert. If not, I hope he didn't let you down... Today is a day when I spent all day annoyed/upset because my plans to go and see him because he was unwell were scuppered. Just not worth it to place all (or any) eggs in one basket for these crap people...I think I am crazy sometimes but I wonder why I am desperate to relinquish portions of my time (and sanity) for this rubbish!? Thanks for your reply. Sure, I can identify with your post. Funny what you said though about him being unwell - when I was recently and genuinely didn't feel like seeing anyone, he (the married friend) got miffed what with "in sickness and in health and all that". Was quite touched by that though as I wondered if that meant it wasn't just for one thing (i.e sex) after all. Have explained the gist of what happened earlier today in my above post... he also said he had a big decision to make re whether going forward with his marriage or to leave i.e be with me. Am secretly feeling that I want to dump him before he possibly dumps me! I don't want him to have that power, you know? It's a two way street, not just his decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 I know what you mean. People are encouraging me to end it and someone told me I would feel empowered if I did...but I am really stalling some days its fine, other days it just feels awful. I know what you mean about not wanting him to have all the power(!) He did it once saying he felt guilty etc...then came back(only because I allowed it I suppose). I honestly wish him the best and every happiness but I don't want him to be flaunting his fluffy marriage in my face as if its the best thing ever...and then saying he feels lonely or frustrated etc. ugh... Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 I know what you mean. People are encouraging me to end it and someone told me I would feel empowered if I did...but I am really stalling some days its fine, other days it just feels awful. I know what you mean about not wanting him to have all the power(!) He did it once saying he felt guilty etc...then came back(only because I allowed it I suppose). I honestly wish him the best and every happiness but I don't want him to be flaunting his fluffy marriage in my face as if its the best thing ever...and then saying he feels lonely or frustrated etc. ugh... Yes, he kind of dumped me... twice, on different occasions a few months ago. Then he changed his mind. Well, we're both still involved. He recently went v quiet though for a couple of weeks blaming it on work, when he rarely inititiated contact, but since seeing him last night... who knows what will happen. Was in a bit of a teary mess at times (don't think about him, but it prpbably contributed). Now I'm thinking my flat's a tip so better tidy up as he said it's poss we could meet up later (not sure why I'm mentioning this lol). Wide awake tonight! Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 You shouldn't ever have to change or have your potential plans interrupted because you THINK you might hang out with a potential date later on. To me at least, thats the first step on the path to co dependence. Besides, having your own stuff makes you more attractive. When you are busy, you are not too available, thus become more desirable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Sorry about your aunt by the way 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 You shouldn't ever have to change or have your potential plans interrupted because you THINK you might hang out with a potential date later on. To me at least, thats the first step on the path to co dependence. Besides, having your own stuff makes you more attractive. When you are busy, you are not too available, thus become more desirable. Its true but sometimes its really hard. If it works out you feel on top of the world (even if its only for a few minutes)...if not then you feel crushed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Share Posted December 22, 2012 Wishing I went to this concert now which others are raving about... gutted in fact. Not going to put him as a priority again if he can't commit to a day or time! Guess should have said that what with the funeral earlier that day that didn't know how long the drinks would go on afterwards for... but didn't know if he could make another time to see me before Xmas. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Who was playing the other day(the concert I mean)? Did you guys manage to meet up yesterday? Link to post Share on other sites
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