Are you ever TOO busy to send a text?

[lulzatyourface]

So, I met a guy who seemed super into me. We hung out for a month before our first official date. After our first date, his texts dropped from 24/7 to a couple times a day due to his job. (His job isn't very strenuous.) He told me not to worry about him texting me less because it doesn't mean he is losing interest or avoiding me.

 

But then three days go by without talking to each other at all. Yesterday he texts me saying:

 

"Hey, sorry for not texting you the past couple of days. I have been crazy busy."

 

I texted him back late at night, since I didn't check my phone all day. All I said was, "Hey! Oh yeah, that's fine. I understand. =]"

 

We already have an established date on the 26th that's still on, and he told me that this past week he had stuff to do after work before the lack of contact. Still. Texting takes 10 seconds.

 

So: Are you ever TOO busy to text a person that you're interested in?

Edited December 22, 2012 by lulzatyourface

[carhill]

It's easier to dial their number and talk to them. That's what I do. Too busy? Sometimes. IMO, there's no need to be connected 24/7. Unplug. Breathe. Life is a wonderful thing.

[MrCastle]

Never. When you're a young, hip, so and so, you know 1.) how often you're attached to your phone and 2.) how easy it is to send a text.

 

It's particularly easy with smart phones now, talk to text, you don't even need to type! I mean really now.

 

The only time I could see someone not getting back to you in a reasonable amount of time is if their phone died or they intended to text you back but forgot. But if you see that happening often, they're trying to give you a hint.

[lulzatyourface]

Never. When you're a young, hip, so and so, you know 1.) how often you're attached to your phone and 2.) how easy it is to send a text.

 

It's particularly easy with smart phones now, talk to text, you don't even need to type! I mean really now.

 

The only time I could see someone not getting back to you in a reasonable amount of time is if their phone died or they intended to text you back but forgot. But if you see that happening often, they're trying to give you a hint.

He did text me for two hours the night after our date, then twice on Sunday, for four hours on Monday, and for about an hour on Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday he didn't text me at all, and then sent that apology text on Friday afternoon.

[yongyong]

"Hey, sorry for not texting you the past couple of days. I have been crazy busy."

 

I will call that big B.S as a guy. If we really like a girl, we can't wait to talk to her. we will be even happy to talk to other guy friends (when we are together) about her 'hey this chick just txted me!!! she is cute blah blah'

 

it's either he is intentionally doing that or not interested.

[Mycteria]

Honestly sometimes I take longer to get back to people I consider important, especially if the conversation is particularly interesting or serious. I'll see the text and think "a response to that is going to take some thought" and so I ignore it until I have time to answer. I do this all the time with people, from guys I'm dating to family members. I don't really consider texts to be urgent, ever. If you want an immediate or definite response, call me.

 

If you're more upset he's not initiating texts more often, I guess that's different. Maybe he just requires a different level of contact than you do.

[Pyro]

Three days without a text is more than enough proof that he has lost interest.

Edited December 22, 2012 by Pyro

[annabelle26]

So, I met a guy who seemed super into me. We hung out for a month before our first official date. After our first date, his texts dropped from 24/7 to a couple times a day due to his job. (His job isn't very strenuous.) He told me not to worry about him texting me less because it doesn't mean he is losing interest or avoiding me.

 

But then three days go by without talking to each other at all. Yesterday he texts me saying:

 

"Hey, sorry for not texting you the past couple of days. I have been crazy busy."

 

I texted him back late at night, since I didn't check my phone all day. All I said was, "Hey! Oh yeah, that's fine. I understand. =]"

 

We already have an established date on the 26th that's still on, and he told me that this past week he had stuff to do after work before the lack of contact. Still. Texting takes 10 seconds.

 

So: Are you ever TOO busy to text a person that you're interested in?

 

no you're not. texting takes 10 seconds. a very charming guy did this to me recently, and then disappeared off the face of the earth. waning interest quickly turns into no interest. either he's not interested or keeping his options open, imo.

[todreaminblue]

So, I met a guy who seemed super into me. We hung out for a month before our first official date. After our first date, his texts dropped from 24/7 to a couple times a day due to his job. (His job isn't very strenuous.) He told me not to worry about him texting me less because it doesn't mean he is losing interest or avoiding me.

 

But then three days go by without talking to each other at all. Yesterday he texts me saying:

 

"Hey, sorry for not texting you the past couple of days. I have been crazy busy."

 

I texted him back late at night, since I didn't check my phone all day. All I said was, "Hey! Oh yeah, that's fine. I understand. =]"

 

We already have an established date on the 26th that's still on, and he told me that this past week he had stuff to do after work before the lack of contact. Still. Texting takes 10 seconds.

 

So: Are you ever TOO busy to text a person that you're interested in?

 

 

Sometimes its easy to forget.To charge your phone, where your phone is, or to check it or to put it in your backpack.Life does get busy and sometimes people run out of credit.If you are dating someone you normally know how hectic they are at work or their life is a bit chaotic

 

 

If the dates are kept and he doesn't leave you waiting somewhere for him to turn up.If he cancels ahead of time if he is considerate enough to let you know that he is busy then all is good. You can get too busy too text someone.He did apologize which was considerate.Best wishes.....deb

[Teknoe]

So: Are you ever TOO busy to text a person that you're interested in?

 

 

if I'm crazy about the girl, I'll always find/make the time. but not every guy is like that, in every situation. not the end of the world (heh) if someone doesn't respond back within 10 minutes. Sometimes one's focus simply must be elsewhere for a sustained length of time. sometimes it's work first, fun later

[Under The Radar]

So, I met a guy who seemed super into me. We hung out for a month before our first official date. After our first date, his texts dropped from 24/7 to a couple times a day due to his job. (His job isn't very strenuous.) He told me not to worry about him texting me less because it doesn't mean he is losing interest or avoiding me.

 

But then three days go by without talking to each other at all. Yesterday he texts me saying:

 

"Hey, sorry for not texting you the past couple of days. I have been crazy busy."

 

I texted him back late at night, since I didn't check my phone all day. All I said was, "Hey! Oh yeah, that's fine. I understand. =]"

 

We already have an established date on the 26th that's still on, and he told me that this past week he had stuff to do after work before the lack of contact. Still. Texting takes 10 seconds.

 

So: Are you ever TOO busy to text a person that you're interested in?

 

 

No, you are never TOO busy to text. One might be too busy to engage in a "conversation" through text, but sending back ONE text ONCE a day is easy if you are REALLY interested in somebody.

 

If it wasn't for your established date on the 26th I'd be more concerned with his sudden drop off in communication. My advice would be to see how things go on the 26th and then take it from there. Hopefully, with the holiday coming up, he reaches out to you BEFORE your date.

 

The fact that his texting precipitously dropped off after the first month/date is a little concerning. Especially with the excuse that it's because of his job. He didn't have the same job keeping him busy that first month? Why all of a sudden is he unable to communicate consistently?

 

BTW, I DON'T think texting 24/7 is healthy or necessary. That would annoy me very quickly if a girl I was seeing felt the need to swamp me with text messages (not that YOU are doing this). However, I would want some established communicative pattern to occur. It's the rapid and evident change in pattern that is a potential "red flag".

 

As already stated, he may be unsure of his feelings for you and is maintaining some distance OR there is somebody else he may be interested in (you are Plan B).

 

Nevertheless, there isn't any concrete proof from your posts to confirm a "Run For The Hills" diagnosis yet. Hang in there for now and see what happens.

[Saijinkai]

I used to be very fast when replying to people for the sole purpose of being considerate and the longest it takes me is 1 day to reply to someone and that's when I'm exhausted and I don't want to send a 1 liner / unthoughtful reply.

 

But apparently to girls, it's being perceived as "I'm available" all the time and they take it for granted. So now I only reply fast to my close friends who deserve it.

 

Unfortunately, it's usually not "us" that is wrong, but because of a lot of bad apples out there that give guys/girls bad experiences that the right people have to suffer too.

 

Wouldn't it be a better world when we don't have to play games with the ones we like / love ? Just straight out be a good partner to each other?

 

We have plenty of difficulties in life as it is and it's getting even harder.

[Fondue]

He's doing it right. The last thing you want to do is let a woman think you don't have better things to do than her.

 

This is pretty spot on.

 

I make sure I am surrounded by things to do to keep myself busy, so I often to reply to texts for a while. Let's face it, a little unavailability is attractive.

 

I am also not a fan of constant communication, I prefer to be left alone most of the time and resort to texting/calling if it is important. I don't really engage in full conversation via text, as it very, very informal. If you want to talk, talk to me in person. It is much easier to gauge interest and even meaning behind words when it is face to face.

 

Unless it is Friday/Saturday night, I usually don't answer my phone or text back after 10pm. I may read it, but I won't reply till next morning. Evening is my time to unwind and relax after a long day of work. I don't want to be removed from that. Only exception to that rule is if it is my family trying to get a hold of me.

[NateC]

I've been talking to this girl for almost a month now over text - sometimes it goes the entire day without a single word, but sometimes it's talking for hours. Some people really do get busy and can't drop what they're doing. For myself, I can't text when I'm at work most of the time (electronics ban...) and she understands that.

[TheZebra]

That depends on the time of day, honestly. I don't always keep my phone attached at the hip so it may take hours for me to get back to someone via text, especially during work. Many times I'll read a text and reply only hours later, or sometimes I'll just forget. However, if I see a missed text/call from a guy I like, you can bet I'll call/text back as soon as I notice it.

[RhapsodyinBlue]

I'm not really sure. I HAVE on many occasions been so busy that I've forgotten to text people back. For instance, I'd check my text messages and read them and then immediately do something else and then realize, "Oh ****! I forgot to text so and so back." But I've never texted someone back MORE than 24 hours later.

[GMG90]

My ex was practically the same way...

 

I believe people can busy for extended periods of time, but it should never take 2-4 days to get a "hey, have how you been? I miss you much". I mean, if you can make time to eat, shower, sleep, and donate to the sewer, then at least attempt to communicate. If he's interested, he'll try...

[xpaperxcutx]

I've been known to be lazy to reply to a text. Unfortunately this is because sometimes I just don't feel like texting and oftentimes, I can read a new a message, and go for hours before I reply back.

 

I prefer the age old, picking-up-my-phone-and-call method.I just love my speeddial especially when it comes to my boyfriend.

 

My advice- text as much as you like to call. But don't sit by your phone and constantly wait for a message.

[Mary Shadows]

I'm going to say the same thing about texting, as in the other thread about texts between a man and woman. If a man is truly interested, he calls. Period. Point blank. There is no real form of communication through texts. Let this guy go.

[GirlontheLam]

I am not a big texter. So yes I am too busy to text all the time. Since I am not a texter. For me texting is for logistics. I need to be in the "mood" to text.

 

But it sounds like in this case, you guys were "friends" and now you are trying to switch into something more. He might be strategically dropping off to relieve the pressure of the expectations of the date. Not to be too attached too soon. Wait till your date and gauge the level of contact after.

[mortensorchid]

If they don't return a text within a few hours (4 max) they are not that into you. I've learned the hard way with others out there. They would either text immediately or they would pick up the phone and call if they really wanted to say something important to you.

[lulzatyourface]

Thanks for the opinions, everybody! I really appreciate it. =]

 

I woke up with a text from him Friday night/Saturday morning at around 3:45 A.M. apologizing for not answering my last text because he was asleep, and saying that he is super excited to see me on Wednesday.

 

I haven't heard from all day again though. Granted, his older brother came into town today, but still. This texting pattern he has is....strange.

 

By the way, I'm positive that he's not seeing someone else at the moment, and he has discussed future plans after our first date as well. So, I'm really confused right now.

[lulzatyourface]

The fact that his texting precipitously dropped off after the first month/date is a little concerning. Especially with the excuse that it's because of his job. He didn't have the same job keeping him busy that first month? Why all of a sudden is he unable to communicate consistently?

We're both in college, so this is his winter break job. The first month, we were both still in school. About a week ago, he texted me saying that his sleep cycle was off, and that since he has to get up at 6:00 A.M. for his job, he has been taking five to eight hour naps after work, hence the lack of texts. I don't know whether it's B.S. or not though.

[SureYeahWhyNot]

So, I met a guy who seemed super into me. We hung out for a month before our first official date. After our first date, his texts dropped from 24/7 to a couple times a day due to his job. (His job isn't very strenuous.) He told me not to worry about him texting me less because it doesn't mean he is losing interest or avoiding me.

 

But then three days go by without talking to each other at all. Yesterday he texts me saying:

 

"Hey, sorry for not texting you the past couple of days. I have been crazy busy."

 

I texted him back late at night, since I didn't check my phone all day. All I said was, "Hey! Oh yeah, that's fine. I understand. =]"

 

We already have an established date on the 26th that's still on, and he told me that this past week he had stuff to do after work before the lack of contact. Still. Texting takes 10 seconds.

 

So: Are you ever TOO busy to text a person that you're interested in?

 

Another example of why texting and facebook are detrimental when it comes to relationships. You're worrying about absolutely nothing. If he wasn't interested in you and wanted to drop out of contact he wouldn't go ahead and tell you that he's still interested, that's the last thing you would want to say to someone you're trying to give the slip. Nor would you initiate first contact and then make plans for another date.

 

As for being too busy to reply to a text, yeah, believe it or not, people do get busy enough where they won't reply. When people text me at work I usually wait a while until it's convenient for me to respond. Sure, I could reply right away, but sometimes there are more pressing matters at hand that I want to get out of the way before I respond to something that can wait. Sometimes it's not even about being busy and I'll leave my phone upstairs while I'm downstairs and not check it for awhile.

 

It's easier to dial their number and talk to them. That's what I do. Too busy? Sometimes. IMO, there's no need to be connected 24/7. Unplug. Breathe. Life is a wonderful thing.

 

Great post.

[SureYeahWhyNot]

"Hey, sorry for not texting you the past couple of days. I have been crazy busy."

 

I will call that big B.S as a guy. If we really like a girl, we can't wait to talk to her. we will be even happy to talk to other guy friends (when we are together) about her 'hey this chick just txted me!!! she is cute blah blah'

 

it's either he is intentionally doing that or not interested.

 

That doesn't sound like my group of friends. We don't sit there and talk about our relationships and tell each other when a girl texts us, we kind of keep that stuff to ourselves. When I just meet a girl that I'm interested in I will keep my phone next to me all the time and text back as soon as possible, but after awhile texting for hours every single day eventually becomes tedious without an actual purpose to the conversation.

 

Another possibility is that he's trying to play it cool. Any way I look at it though, I don't see anything wrong.