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How did you get over the affair?


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How did you put your life together after the affair? Move forward?

 

I am now convinced that my ex-AP had a personality disorder, perhaps NPP. But still shocked by how quickly, and with really no emotion, i was dumped. The e-mail I received could best be described as a company form letter that could have read: "Thank you for your time. We will keep your resume on file, but at this time, no longer need your services."

 

It was as if our time, the share moments, the intense emotions, texts, e-mails, pictures didn't exist. Bam. Done. Over.

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How did you put your life together after the affair? Move forward?

 

I am now convinced that my ex-AP had a personality disorder, perhaps NPP. But still shocked by how quickly, and with really no emotion, i was dumped. The e-mail I received could best be described as a company form letter that could have read: "Thank you for your time. We will keep your resume on file, but at this time, no longer need your services."

 

It was as if our time, the share moments, the intense emotions, texts, e-mails, pictures didn't exist. Bam. Done. Over.

 

Trying to move forward.. One day at a time. Trying to focus on me. Medicating with tlc as much as I can.

 

Even in dating I have never experienced such a cowardly exit.

 

Which is leading me to believe that the MM who do this are some of the scariest minds around.

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Agreed. It was ****ed up. I have thousands of e-mails texts telling me how he adored me, he has never felt so close to someone, bla, bla, bla..... He was very integrated in my life -- and my daughter's -- on many, many levels.

 

The ending was so mechanical. There was no fight. No "f-you." It's shocking still.

 

I am reading about NPP and he shows all the classic signs. Wish I knew that before hand.

 

What's TIC?

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tlc = tender loving care :)

 

I think the dramatic exit is (in my case) partially because they don't know what to do. Partially because they lack a certain amount of empathy... a big amount of empathy.. and partially because they only have their best interest in mind.

 

I'm in a anger stage with this right now so I am trying to respond in a calm way... :)

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Agreed. It was ****ed up. I have thousands of e-mails texts telling me how he adored me, he has never felt so close to someone, bla, bla, bla..... He was very integrated in my life -- and my daughter's -- on many, many levels.

 

The ending was so mechanical. There was no fight. No "f-you." It's shocking still.

 

I am reading about NPP and he shows all the classic signs. Wish I knew that before hand.

 

What's TIC?

 

The first time he 'left' there were a lot of 'f you's' on my end to his. (when he went back).

 

The second time- I said relatively nothing to him. I told him I loved him, and I wasn't apologizing for that. Even if he didn't love me. And, I guess I'll work through those emotions now.

 

I mean, how much can you fight when you've been dismissed like a bad idea??

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm new here. still trying to figure out how to move forward. i had a very similar experience where i was promised the sun and moon. where i heard on a daily basis that he wanted to spend his life with me and the phrase "let's run away" was rather common as well. then when she found out it was BAM! a total turn around..."what did you really think we were?" are you KIDDING me? it was and still is like a dagger in my heart....it's been five months of NC for me. i've been blocked from any way of contacting him. (though he could easily contact me if he wanted to)...i am not dealing with the rejection part well. and the fact that i got no explanation or closure whatsoever. I'm no help i guess but just so you know you're not alone. i hope to see some good advice on this thread and others....

peace <3

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Putting life together again was a matter of time really.

 

I went NC, the best most painful thing to do. In the beginning, I thought I was going to go beserk from the emotional pain. In addition, there was nobody I could tell.

 

It took about 18 months before I started to really feel at peace and healed.

 

I just went to work, did all the usual things and time took care of it.

 

It was a long hard journey but it's the best one I ever made.

 

Cat.

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