jaykayelle Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Me and my partner have been together for a year and three months as of today. Last month, I accompanied her on a business trip. She left me in the hotel room while she went out to attend a meeting. She left her work cellphone behind. The battery was dead, but the charger was with it. Me and her have had an argument when we first met, because I saw a "flirty" facebook conversation she had with a woman she supposedly dated years ago. She apologized to me and told me that she'd stop sending such messages to anyone. Well, maybe it was very wrong of me to look through her phone, but I wanted to know if she still talks to her ex'es in that manner. So, I turned on her phone and put it on the charger. Wow. I wasn't ready for what I found. Me and her were together on her birthday last February, but I saw an exchange of text messages from an "ex" that I knew nothing about. Her ex texted her happy birthday, and what would she like as a gift? My girlfriend responded with, "I want a lock of your hair drenched in your perfume." My girlfriend mentioned NOTHING about spending her birthday with me. I don't even believe that any of her ex'es know that we're together. My gf won't let me tag her in any pictures, or tag her as being in a relationship with me on fb; her reason? Since my gf is a business owner, she claims that she doesn't want her associates to know that she's gay.... but she has tagged all of her family members. When I ask her why would she tag family on her "business page", she cannot answer me. When I ask her why she has her ex'es on her "business page", once again, she cannot answer me. Also, I found a picture of the ex and her all snuggled together in front of a hotel bathroom mirror, with my girlfriend taking the picture. The timestamp of the picture went back to last December... again, during a time when me and my girlfriend were exclusively dating... supposedly. When I confronted her about the picture and timestamp, she claimed that the timestamp on her picture was wrong.. and instead, the picture was taken over the summer, before me and her started dating. But the picture was mixed in with all the pictures she has taken of me. Another exchange of text messages that she and another ex (the one that I already knew about), included my gf telling her that she "love her". My ex made me think that she didn't care for her ex; saying that she used to steal from her, cheat, and was arrested by the Feds for embezzlement. So, why would she still talk to her? When I ask her this, she cannot answer me. My gf proposed to me in October, and I found all this nonsense out at the beginning of this month. I tried to break up with her, but she insists that she wants to be with me, and not them; one ex lives in Florida, and the other in Kansas (we live in Missouri), and they have "moved on" with their lives. I have put so much into this relationship, that I don't know what to do. It's been some weeks since I've found her texts, and I can't get the picture of her and that girl out of my head. Before I found her phone, I began looking for a house to buy for the 2 of us. Now that I'm in the middle of a contract, I feel so betrayed by her, that I'm not sure that I can move on. Any advice? Am I crazy?? Did I read too much into her text messages?? Link to post Share on other sites
IT Geek Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 When I confronted her about the picture and timestamp, she claimed that the timestamp on her picture was wrong.. These days, a cell phone's date/time are set by the cell phone provider as part of the control signals between the tower and the phone. Some may have the option of disabling the time signal and manually setting the time, but who would do that under normal circumstances? Her excuse that the time stamp was wrong is highly suspect. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Drop her and snoop no more, if you are a man act like one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaykayelle Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 Drop her and snoop no more, if you are a man act like one. I'm not a man. Sorry if I didn't make myself clear in the post, but I am female. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Even if you were a man, that's hardly advice with any substance. I'm sorry but your girl is a liar. You are going to have to decide, and it wont be easy, do YOU think that you are good enough to deserve a NON-liar. A faithful girl who will love you as you love them. Or do you feel like you are a worthless person who deserves to be with some one who treats them like disposable affection? You can do better, statistically speaking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaykayelle Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 These days, a cell phone's date/time are set by the cell phone provider as part of the control signals between the tower and the phone. Some may have the option of disabling the time signal and manually setting the time, but who would do that under normal circumstances? Her excuse that the time stamp was wrong is highly suspect. Thank you for your input. She has the same model phone as I, so I already knew that time zone changes/date & date, etc, are automatic. Looks like I just came to a conclusion. So much for my holidays Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 I'm not a man. Sorry if I didn't make myself clear in the post, but I am female. It doesn't make a difference - your girlfriend is lying to you and a cheater. No reason to continue without FULL disclosure and sharing of all the texts in the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaykayelle Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 Even if you were a man, that's hardly advice with any substance. I'm sorry but your girl is a liar. You are going to have to decide, and it wont be easy, do YOU think that you are good enough to deserve a NON-liar. A faithful girl who will love you as you love them. Or do you feel like you are a worthless person who deserves to be with some one who treats them like disposable affection? You can do better, statistically speaking. Thank you. Writing my dilemma out, then reading it back, it looks even worse. My stomach has sunken to the pit of my stomach. It hurts, but I see what I have to do. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 I'm not a man. Sorry if I didn't make myself clear in the post, but I am female. Ah, well that explains the snooping, so as a guy all I can say is that if I found out you snooped, you would be demoted to FWB without further notice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaykayelle Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 Ah, well that explains the snooping, so as a guy all I can say is that if I found out you snooped, you would be demoted to FWB without further notice. Okay. Thanks for your statement. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Gotta love an ex collector. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about looking at the phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 If the roles were reversed I doubt that she would have put up with such lying and disrespect from you. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 Look, you don't have to feel guilty about going through her phone. You have EVERY RIGHT to know whats going on in your relationship. And you went with your gut. It told you something wasn't right. If she was being honest with you and faithful, then you would have NO REASON to look. But, it wasn't the case. Don't worry about it. You found out the truth and you shouldn't feel guilty about finding out the truth for yourself when all you're getting is lies. Link to post Share on other sites
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