loser to loser

[loosing hope]

Hi there,

 

I'm 19,(almost 20) attending a local University. I have a pretty good life: lots of friends who care about me, a close family, a cute dog, a job I actually like and have had a few meaningless relationships. My longest relationhsip with a guy has been 8 months. It ended on a bad note and since then I've been kinda jumping from guy to guy. (or should I say, loser to loser) I know the old expression says "don't go chasing love, let it come to you" but it seems hopeless. Here I am, surrounded by guys at University but it seems like I'm all by myself. And at the bar, well there's a certain crowd that hangs out at the bar; the guys there either want to get into your pants or...want to get into your pants. I have joined a gym and the guys there are all in love with the mirrors. So, here I am, bitterly awaiting this so-called love to "find me." Does the waiting EVER end?

 

-Loosing hope

[Tony T]

Oh, yeah. Part of the plan is to go through just what you are going through. All the toads, you know.

 

Real love can never be appreciated if you can just walk out your front door and find it. What makes it so special is knowing we had to go through some hoops to find it. That which is easily acquired has no real value.

 

Have patience. You are very young. You are also traveling in the wrong circles. Find different places to meet guys. Many college guys are mostly into partying but there are some who are very decent. Go for guys a few years older that are about to graduate or already in the work force.

 

Don't let it bother you when guys are jerks. They are part of the landscape of love, part of its ecological balance. They are there for a purpose.

 

You will find love, most likely when you least expect it. Don't make the search for it a number one priority in your life right now, you have got years to go before it could become more important. By then, you'll have dozens of great guys to choose from.

[Rogue]

Tony is right.You have to sift through the mud to find your gem. You are also looking in the wrong place if you expect something serious to pop up through the bar scene.

 

The bar scene are where people go to score. There's alcohol involved,so everyone is more stupid than usual. You can't have an intelligent conversation in one,you can barely hear yourself think and everyone is drunk they are not thinking straight anyways.Do you really expect to find a nice guy like that??

[Deejette]

The age group you are looking in may be too immature for you. I remember how appalled I was when I went to university and the parties and bars where inept, drunken kids were trying to get into my pants on a regular basis. I met a more mature guy (in attitude and age) and my problem was solved. He didn't rush me into sex and we actually had great conversations and real intimacy.

Tony is right.You have to sift through the mud to find your gem. You are also looking in the wrong place if you expect something serious to pop up through the bar scene. The bar scene are where people go to score. There's alcohol involved,so everyone is more stupid than usual. You can't have an intelligent conversation in one,you can barely hear yourself think and everyone is drunk they are not thinking straight anyways.Do you really expect to find a nice guy like that??

[sparkle]

Hey,

 

I goto college too, so a few suggestions.

 

Tony, Rogue and Deejette offered good advice. Unless

 

you want to have sex with a guy, don't go looking in

 

the local bars.

 

Do you live on campus or at home? Either one, when you're

 

studying for your classes and exams, instead of studying

 

in your room, why not try the university library?

 

Maybe you'll run across someone there.

 

Hang out with your friends on campus. You're 19, which must mean you're either a freshman or sophomore. So be patient.

 

As you start meeting more people and making friends (guys and girls), eventually they'll introduce you to someone who will introduce you to someone else...down the line, there will be a guy that you like.

 

Don't busy your mind looking for a guy; just have fun!

 

You can have a great time without a guy by your side. Many guys like a girl that can have a good time and be independent etc etc.

 

Even at the gym, don't TRY to pick up guys. If some guy is interested in you, or vice versa, just strike up a conversation. Maybe ask help with how to use one of the machines. The gym guys love showing off their skills

 

Good luck!