soco Posted August 15, 2004 Share Posted August 15, 2004 he broke with me twice. First after about 4 months of exclusive dating. The apparent reason was that he lost his job and was under a lot of stress etc. As it was a reasonable ground for a break up I agreed to be casual friends with him after about 3 months break. He was very sorry about it, was depressed, etc. The attraction was still there on both sides, and we agreed to move slowly and very soon were sleeping together again. To cut it short, he had to leave for another city and we continued long-distance, then after a few months apart, he was back, and everything seemed just going the right way. We went on holidays together, though it turned to be very stressful in terms of logistics. After we came back I was jet-lagged and got some sort of an allergy, and was quite miserable and irritable. We had a fight, when I said I did not feel cared for, he attacked me for being sullen and closed. It did not resolve within a few days, and then he just broke up with me again. The reason being the 'it' was not there. All together our relationship lasted just over a year. Since the breakup I tried to contact him and make up, but he says that his heart is not there for me, he likes me and wants to be friends, he does not want to succumb to his libido, as it's difficult to him to ignore the attraction. What am I missing here? He likes me and wants to be friends, he's physically attracted, 'his heart is not there'. Is there something wrong with me or with him?? Link to post Share on other sites
carolina Posted August 16, 2004 Share Posted August 16, 2004 My exboyfriend said the same kind of stuff. He says "I am a great. wonderful, loving, caring person, yada yada yada....but it "just didn't seem right." I'm still trying to figure that out. Like I'm all these great things but I'm still not good enought to make "the cut?" It's very frustrating, so I totally understand what you're going thru. My ex would say stuff like "if you really are a good person, you should have no trouble finding someone else." He doesn't get that it's hard to just replace someone you were so in love with. In addition, if you were the one dumped, your self esteem is pretty much shot and it's hard to get back to the level where you can go out with confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
beautiful Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 there is something wrong with you if you remain in this drama and allow him to play you like this. Move on! Link to post Share on other sites
kgal Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 It sounds like he has alot to think about. He may not know what he wants...friendship..or more??? Perhaps he's just not ready for commitment? Some guys are that way...even women. Well....all I can say is just give him time...he needs it...to think...and it could be the healthiest option for the both of you right now. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 It's simple enough to me (maybe because I'm a simpleTON hyuk hyuk) He thinks that he can do better. Do you really need that kind of crap? Link to post Share on other sites
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