relapse

[kalik]

I have thought about her off and on lately. Almost like a relapse. I have been moving on with my life, but sometimes I still think about things. I know this all happened for a reason, and I am much better for it. And knowing that we didn't work out doesn't make me feel better, but it gives me some comfort. I still miss her. Sometimes more than others.

 

I have a new strength and ourage that I never had before, and I know that even though life is a little scary, it's very exciting. All these new doors are opening up for me. I have a lot of life to live that I never even considered before. And I share that with all of my friends. I have never felt better or been happier in my life. Especially with myself. I just wish there was a way I could share all of this with her.

 

Any thoughts? I am stronger every day, but I still feel weak at times. How far along am I? Am I ok?

 

kalik

[Tony T]

Sounds like you are doing just fine. There will be other special ladies, and even a very special one, with whom to share your increasing happiness.

 

What you're going through takes time. Be kind to yourself.

[Rachel]

You sound completely 'normal' missing her at times + sometimes more than others. It is also usual to want to share your experiences with someone who was close to you.

 

I you feel you 'must' share stuff with her you could do it unconsciously - just by thinking the thought you want to share.

 

It works!

 

I need to explain here.

 

One example is doing a meditation /visualisation or similar technique and talking or thinking those thoughts to her. It can be done out loud or by thoughts. If you want - you can use something that reminds you of her and talk to that... sounds weird I know. But only if the 'reminder' won't upset you too much eg. a photo.

 

There are many techniques to get a message across. I have experienced some and know of many others.

 

One ritual for 'ending something' or boundary stuff, is by visualising being tied to someone or something with a rope. Then visualise or act out the process of cutting through the rope, breaking the tie.

 

I know'unconscious' stuff and 'thoughts' DO GET ACROSS. Years ago this concept would have been thought of as madness BUT not today.

 

At last many 'scientific' folk such as doctors and psych's are taking note of all these 'unscientific' concepts - just look at all the 'new age' stuff that many health professionals now incorporate into their practice, I even know of a hospital that has introduced astrology into the treatment plan (where appropriate) in the psychiatric unit.

 

As I said years ago alternate concepts would have been ridiculed, dismissed and called 'hocus pocus'.

 

Lastly, I do know that 'the old' needs to be let go of in order to allow 'the new'.

 

Theres so many choices for you.

 

Thinking about her like you are is all part of the 'NORMAL' grieving process of letting go.

 

I do astrology charts and when you want I could do one for you - no charge. This is a fascinating way of looking at yourself and others, you may just learn something.

 

All good thoughts are coming your way from me.... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!

 

People may scoff at this but they could experiment with the effect of their thought processes in lots of ways.

 

One example - a car is driving right up your backside... it may be usual to get cranky about this and hurl some horrid thought or abuse to the driver ....

 

but...

 

try instead to think nice thoughts about the driver and something like "would you please get off my tail". Of course it needs to be a sincere thought.

 

You watch what happens.

 

Take Care

 

Rachel

I have thought about her off and on lately. Almost like a relapse. I have been moving on with my life, but sometimes I still think about things. I know this all happened for a reason, and I am much better for it. And knowing that we didn't work out doesn't make me feel better, but it gives me some comfort. I still miss her. Sometimes more than others. I have a new strength and ourage that I never had before, and I know that even though life is a little scary, it's very exciting. All these new doors are opening up for me. I have a lot of life to live that I never even considered before. And I share that with all of my friends. I have never felt better or been happier in my life. Especially with myself. I just wish there was a way I could share all of this with her. Any thoughts? I am stronger every day, but I still feel weak at times. How far along am I? Am I ok? kalik

[Rachel]

Oh dear I have posted in the wrong place - can I change it?

[Deejette]

Stay strong, Kalik, you will respect yourself more for it. I have been with you during your whole experience with your ex and know that you are doing the right thing by not crawling back and debasing yourself in front of her.

You sound completely 'normal' missing her at times + sometimes more than others. It is also usual to want to share your experiences with someone who was close to you. I you feel you 'must' share stuff with her you could do it unconsciously - just by thinking the thought you want to share. It works! I need to explain here. One example is doing a meditation /visualisation or similar technique and talking or thinking those thoughts to her. It can be done out loud or by thoughts. If you want - you can use something that reminds you of her and talk to that... sounds weird I know. But only if the 'reminder' won't upset you too much eg. a photo. There are many techniques to get a message across. I have experienced some and know of many others. One ritual for 'ending something' or boundary stuff, is by visualising being tied to someone or something with a rope. Then visualise or act out the process of cutting through the rope, breaking the tie. I know'unconscious' stuff and 'thoughts' DO GET ACROSS. Years ago this concept would have been thought of as madness BUT not today. At last many 'scientific' folk such as doctors and psych's are taking note of all these 'unscientific' concepts - just look at all the 'new age' stuff that many health professionals now incorporate into their practice, I even know of a hospital that has introduced astrology into the treatment plan (where appropriate) in the psychiatric unit.

 

As I said years ago alternate concepts would have been ridiculed, dismissed and called 'hocus pocus'. Lastly, I do know that 'the old' needs to be let go of in order to allow 'the new'. Theres so many choices for you. Thinking about her like you are is all part of the 'NORMAL' grieving process of letting go.

 

I do astrology charts and when you want I could do one for you - no charge. This is a fascinating way of looking at yourself and others, you may just learn something. All good thoughts are coming your way from me.... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!

 

People may scoff at this but they could experiment with the effect of their thought processes in lots of ways. One example - a car is driving right up your backside... it may be usual to get cranky about this and hurl some horrid thought or abuse to the driver .... but... try instead to think nice thoughts about the driver and something like "would you please get off my tail". Of course it needs to be a sincere thought. You watch what happens. Take Care Rachel

[Tony T]

You seem to be posting just fine. If you are unsure about where you are posting, put in a password at the botton of the field where you are typing your response. You can use the password to remove your post in case you accidentally put it in the wrong place.

 

But if you click on the post you want to answer, and scroll down, it's best to delete what you see in the reply field...it's just the same stuff you've already seen...and put your post there. And do use a password just in case.

 

For the past week, you have been doing absolutely great on propertly locating your responses.

[Rachel]

Thanks Tony.

 

I feel good when I can help others (probably why Im in psych) and its wonderful when people respond to my dilemmas.

 

Theres a lot of good things about this site.

 

Yes I just may use a password, on another site in inadvertantly posted about 7 times... this occurs occasionally and is a computer issue - not the operator.

 

Rachel

You seem to be posting just fine. If you are unsure about where you are posting, put in a password at the botton of the field where you are typing your response. You can use the password to remove your post in case you accidentally put it in the wrong place. But if you click on the post you want to answer, and scroll down, it's best to delete what you see in the reply field...it's just the same stuff you've already seen...and put your post there. And do use a password just in case. For the past week, you have been doing absolutely great on propertly locating your responses.