Dating made easy by LittlePrince

[edgygirl]

wasnt trying to be funny.... truth hurts sometimes

 

Who cares whether it's truth or not? Can't you understand how it's hurtful and mainly depressing to keep reading this kind of stuff over and over? What good does it do for anyone here or the humanity? It just makes you sound like women have hurt you in the past and you're taking pleasure on unrelated women pain to give it back to the ones who hurt you.

 

This should be a place where people come to support each other. Not to get off on others' expense to treat your own mental problem.

 

And don't come back saying no women ever hurt you. If that's the case and you are sadistic and just do it for the fun of it, go and give your sadism to people who want it, as in a kinky scene or whatnot. Enough with the bs already. Only shows you have a problem. Not the women who are legitimately looking to make up for the lost time.

 

I am so glad when the decent men on LS get together to point you on the bs, you have no idea. You only listen to them. Because when women try to point this out to you, you don't buy it. It shows to me what kind of man you must be. The kind who doesn't like women, deep inside, and has emotional issues with them. Ugh.

 

And believe me, I LOVE sarcasm. But not when it's hurtful to other people. Draw a line.

Edited December 26, 2012 by edgygirl

[iris219]

Weren't you focusing on your career and moved into an area where there are no age-appropriate men?

 

No, I never shunned dating for my career, not that it would matter if I did. I've lived here for years; even when there were age appropriate men nothing worked out for me. Stop trying to find reasons why not being married is my fault. Sometimes life just doesn't work out for people the way they'd hoped.

 

I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I broke up with a woman last year, for this very reason. I was completely unaware of what was going on, until she made an off hand comment one day about how we would make really pretty babies. Over several more conversations i was able to probe and find out, that while she was attracted to me, her primary reason for dating was because she wanted children. All other reasons where a distant second.

 

It was something I struggled with for a few weeks before I made the decision to end it, and it took several friends pushing me to do what I knew was right. It all boiled down to the fact that what she was interested in the most, wasn't me, but what I could provide.

 

Just to be clear, I to want a family, but that's secondary to being attracted (on multiple levels) to my spouse. Simply put, children grow up and move out. Eventually it's going to be just the two of us again, so we better be attracted to each other, and we better have a lot of common interests.

 

Of course a man doesn't want to hear that a woman sees them solely as a means to a baby!

 

This isn't applicable to me because I don't date and I'm one of the last women on earth who would ever tell a man I just met that we'd make pretty babies. That's not my style at all.

 

If you dumped that women simply because of her desire to have children with you, that seems foolish. Why does that desire mean she wasn't attracted to other aspects of you?

Edited December 26, 2012 by iris219

[edgygirl]

I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I broke up with a woman last year, for this very reason. I was completely unaware of what was going on, until she made an off hand comment one day about how we would make really pretty babies. Over several more conversations i was able to probe and find out, that while she was attracted to me, her primary reason for dating was because she wanted children. All other reasons where a distant second.

 

It was something I struggled with for a few weeks before I made the decision to end it, and it took several friends pushing me to do what I knew was right. It all boiled down to the fact that what she was interested in the most, wasn't me, but what I could provide.

 

 

Just to be clear, I to want a family, but that's secondary to being attracted (on multiple levels) to my spouse. Simply put, children grow up and move out. Eventually it's going to be just the two of us again, so we better be attracted to each other, and we better have a lot of common interests.

 

I'm surprised. I think it's a legitimate feeling for a woman to want to have a baby when she's running out of time. I think you wrongly assumed, as many men do, that she would be with just anyone to fulfill the needs and the biological clock running. You might have lost a great partner that would fulfill you for life over a technical detail. I advise you not to listen to your friends when they say things like that. All men are terrified to be used as a sperm bank, but from the woman side I can tell you it doesn't work like that. Specially because sperm banks exist lol. I would never stay with someone only to have a baby. Although I want it very very much. And if I did, I would be open with the guy.

 

Look, women have that problem. Nature is unfair. But only because a girl wants a baby doesn't mean she's evil-like looking around for a prey who would give it to her.

[Lonely Ronin]

If you dumped that women simply because of her desire to have children with you, that seems foolish. Why does that desire mean she wasn't attracted to other aspects of you?

 

I can't really condense a half dozen conversations into an appropriate length forum post. However, the crux of it was that I was a means to an end. Her primary goal at that point of her life, was to have children.

[CptSaveAho]

I can't really condense a half dozen conversations into an appropriate length forum post. However, the crux of it was that I was a means to an end. Her primary goal at that point of her life, was to have children.

 

You weren't wrong... men can smell this a mile away

 

Always listen to your guys friends... they will save you from alimony + child support

[Lonely Ronin]

I think you wrongly assumed, as many men do, that she would be with just anyone to fulfill the needs and the biological clock running.

 

Well, I know for a fact that she has dated two guys since me, and both have left for the same reason. It wasn't a 'just anyone' issue, it was a first guy that meets the minimum requirements issue.

 

 

I advise you not to listen to your friends when they say things like that.

 

It wasn't just one or two it was several close friends both male and female. The opinion was always the same to, "something isn't right, she is moving way to fast, and barely knows you."

 

 

Look, women have that problem. Nature is unfair. But only because a girl wants a baby doesn't mean she's evil-like looking around for a prey who would give it to her.

 

I didn't say she was evil, all I'm saying is her priorities were not right as far as I'm concerned.

Edited December 26, 2012 by Lonely Ronin

[KungFuJoe]

I think the point is that no one wants to think that their partner is only with them because they can't get anyone else or you're the only one that "stuck around". People want to feel special, especially in a relationship.

 

So when he thinks this woman is just with him just to have kids and not so much because she wants to be with HIM for who he is, then of course you would say her priorities are screwed up.

[GoodOnPaper]

How is your sex life? Do you regret marrying her?

 

Pretty tame -- enough to figure that I missed out by never being able to attract anyone for casual flings. It was good to move on and learn how to tackle the next stages in life. The one thing I really wanted marriage to do is shake this "I'm not good/attractive enough" monkey off my back -- if I can ever figure out how to do that, I can REALLY move on with my life.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Yes, it is the fault of men because women are children who can't make decisions on their own and men as the only adults should know better than to target someone so emotionally undeveloped, immature, and vulnerable.

 

I liked you better that time you posted as a cognizant being.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Men's primes dont pass

 

Evidently in some cases, they never even begin.

[Imajerk17]

I'm surprised. I think it's a legitimate feeling for a woman to want to have a baby when she's running out of time. I think you wrongly assumed, as many men do, that she would be with just anyone to fulfill the needs and the biological clock running. You might have lost a great partner that would fulfill you for life over a technical detail. I advise you not to listen to your friends when they say things like that. All men are terrified to be used as a sperm bank, but from the woman side I can tell you it doesn't work like that. Specially because sperm banks exist lol. I would never stay with someone only to have a baby. Although I want it very very much. And if I did, I would be open with the guy.

 

Look, women have that problem. Nature is unfair. But only because a girl wants a baby doesn't mean she's evil-like looking around for a prey who would give it to her.

 

I know exactly what Lonely Ronin is feeling. It's a little bit like when a guy gives off the stench of desperation for sex or even a relationship. Of course that is why people date but there is something about the guy's energy that makes most women run.

 

I also suspect that LR might not have been completely sold on this woman, and letting her go was the best move for both of them. Saves her some time.

 

I have to admit, I read your posts and I think: "Wait, you had your fun in your 20s and turned guys down. That's all well and good. And now that you're getting older and want to settle down, the guys whom you turned down are turning you down. That's their perogative too. You're actually expecting sympathy though? And you're blaming men for not giving you a chance? Isn't that what you were doing to men when you were younger?" I feel bad for you but not too bad. After all, men are only doing to you what you were doing to them. So I think you need to lose your victim thinking and take full responsibility. The attitude of coming on here and blaming your unhappiness on our gender for being too shallow, for not giving you a chance, for "hating women", is very off-putting.

 

We give a woman commitment and marriage because there is something about her that we can't live without. NOT because her biological clock is ticking or she feels "she has had her fun and now it's time for her to settle down". The risks of getting itched to the wrong women are too great, and the allure of freedom is too strong.

Edited December 27, 2012 by Imajerk17

[TheZebra]

Same for me. Having all 3 (physical, emotional and intellectual) seems nearly as hard to find as winning the lottery. I perhaps met one man in my lifetime that had all 3.....I know I will end up alone if I wait for that.

 

So I need to compromise. I would rather take lust out of the the equation. Lust dies down anyway....

 

I might be alone in thinking this, but rarely did the amount of attraction or lust I felt for a guy rely on his physical attractiveness. Usually if I can make an emotional and intellectual connection with a guy then that's all I really need. In fact, my mother often laughs about the fact that I always pick out 'ugly ducklings' and that she can always count on me liking the most objectively unattractive guy in a group. Granted, I do have my preferences in regards to height, weight, skin color, etc, but I've dated out of my physical preference many times before and have been very happy. My ex is the biggest example... short (5'8-5'9), dark hair, dark eyes (at the time I loved brown/blonde hair w/blue/green eyes), and not exactly in shape. But we clicked on a deeper level, and sex was always amazing. He was a smart, confident, and happy guy and that attracted me to him.

 

EDIT: To provide some contrast, right before my ex I dated a guy that was EXACTLY what I wanted physically. Right hair and eye color, tall, muscular, great smile, you name it. The relationship lasted 3 months. We had no connection outside oh physical, and after the first few weeks or so wore on and we actually spent time talking, I was repulsed by him. Worst break up ever.

[somedude81]

No, I never shunned dating for my career, not that it would matter if I did. I've lived here for years; even when there were age appropriate men nothing worked out for me. Stop trying to find reasons why not being married is my fault. Sometimes life just doesn't work out for people the way they'd hoped.

My mistake.

 

I believed that you were a "career first" woman and just recently decided that you wanted to start dating and were no having trouble because no men are age appropriate.

 

Though continuing to live in an area where there are no age appropriate men is basically admitting that your career is more important.

[somedude81]

My ex is the biggest example... short (5'8-5'9).

I think you mean

 

My ex is the biggest example...average height (5'8-5'9).

 

--------------------------

Leave the short label for those unlucky SOB's that are 5'6 or under.

 

Edit: In my previous post I meant "were having trouble" Don't know how the no slipped in there.

[Imajerk17]

If it seems that I am coming down hard on the women on here for "victim thinking", I'm not. I'm not coming down any harder on them for victim-thinking that I am the guys. Everyone has to take their share of responsibility for their won dating success.

[Lonely Ronin]

Leave the short label for those unlucky SOB's that are 5'6 or under.

 

Edit: In my previous post I meant "were having trouble" Don't know how the no slipped in there.

 

Dude fing get over it already..... To some women you are short period, end of story. I know 3 different women who would all say you are short, because they are 5' 10".

[KungFuJoe]

My wife is 5'4"...she thinks any guy under 5'11 is short and height on a guy is very important to her...pretty much a deal breaker. Of course, she is probably the ONLY girl I've ever met that said height was a deal breaker and it was actually a surprise to me when she first mentioned it.

[somedude81]

Dude fing get over it already..... To some women you are short period, end of story.

/insert sarcastic response.

 

I know I'm short. My point was that she was calling her average height ex short. Which basically meant that any men shorter are a hobbits.

My wife is 5'4"...she thinks any guy under 5'11 is short and height on a guy is very important to her...pretty much a deal breaker. Of course, she is probably the ONLY girl I've ever met that said height was a deal breaker and it was actually a surprise to me when she first mentioned it.

Your wife is pretty shallow.

[KungFuJoe]

/insert sarcastic response.

 

I know I'm short. My point was that she was calling her average height ex short. Which basically meant that any men shorter are a hobbits.

 

It's ONE person's opinion. Ok...two, counting my wife.

 

Point being, you can't get caught up on every single "negative" like you keep doing. For one women that thinks 5'10 is short, there are 10 that don't care.

[KungFuJoe]

/insert sarcastic response.

 

I know I'm short. My point was that she was calling her average height ex short. Which basically meant that any men shorter are a hobbits.

 

Your wife is pretty shallow.

 

Ok...I'm going to let that one slide because even I jokingly said the same thing to her when she said that.

 

But, you are being a hypocrite. You said you wouldn't date an obese girl...my wife wouldn't date a short guy. Is there a difference?

[somedude81]

It's ONE person's opinion. Ok...two, counting my wife.

 

Point being, you can't get caught up on every single "negative" like you keep doing. For one women that thinks 5'10 is short, there are 10 that don't care.

I think you got that mixed up.

 

For every one woman that doesn't care about height, ten do.

 

From what I've seen, women think of height as the the determining factor of what makes somebody a man. Anybody under 5'10 isn't a man and not worthy of dating.

 

Thankfully some women out there don't see things that way. Though I haven't met one yet, maybe one day I will.

[Lonely Ronin]

I also suspect that LR might not have been completely sold on this woman, and letting her go was the best move for both of them. Saves her some time.

 

I was actually very much into her, but the rush for babies was very off putting. I believe in the natural progression of a relationship, to fast is a red flag, and to slow is as well. I have talked about wanting children early on, maybe even as early as the first or second date. But it was in response to a question about do you eventually want children. As far as I'm concerned, having a serious conversation about children, should only happen in the context of a committed relationship when marriage is imminent.

[somedude81]

Ok...I'm going to let that one slide because even I jokingly said the same thing to her when she said that.

 

But, you are being a hypocrite. You said you wouldn't date an obese girl...my wife wouldn't date a short guy. Is there a difference?

You ever hear of a man that let himself become short?

 

Ever hear of men changing their diet and working in the gym to become taller?

[KungFuJoe]

I think you got that mixed up.

 

For every one woman that doesn't care about height, ten do.

 

From what I've seen, women think of height as the the determining factor of what makes somebody a man. Anybody under 5'10 isn't a man and not worthy of dating.

 

Thankfully some women out there don't see things that way. Though I haven't met one yet, maybe one day I will.

 

Then explain all my short friends who are married or have been successful with women? Are they ALL anamolies? All lucky? Or do I live in an alternate universe?

[truth_seeker]

Oddest compliment I got from a girl: "If you were taller, I would so go for you."

 

Me: "Thanks?"