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[Mme. Chaucer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KungFuJoe

So a short person can't want a tall partner?

Is that what I said? Is that even remotely close to what I said?

 

Yes, it's more than remotely close. You said it makes them a hypocrite if they're short and want a tall partner. Also shallow.

[somedude81]

Don't play dumb with me, you know what i mean. being social, and being social to meet women is not the same thing, and most half way intelligent people can tell the difference.

Then I'm not halfway intelligent because I can't tell the difference.

 

When there are girls I'm out talking to them. I see that as me being sociable.

 

If there aren't any girls around that I want to talk to, then I'll talk to a dude.

 

 

Additionally, you have said several times that when you are around women you never talk about your self, that is a huge indicator of someone who is either socially awkward, anti social, or a hermit.

What makes you say that?

 

It comes across to me that when a person doesn't say much about themselves, that they are more interested in the other person. I've heard plenty of accounts from women where they were out with a guy and it turned her off because he kept talking about himself.

 

And of course, it's not like I never talk about myself. If I have a relevant piece of info to say about myself I'll do it then I'll turn it back over to her.

[somedude81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KungFuJoe

 

 

 

Yes, it's more than remotely close. You said it makes them a hypocrite if they're short and want a tall partner. Also shallow.

I'll help you.

 

it makes them a hypocrite if they're short and only want a tall partner.

 

To give an example for myself, I would be a hypocrite if I only wanted very pretty girls or only wanted women with large breasts.

[Mme. Chaucer]

It comes across to me that when a person doesn't say much about themselves, that they are more interested in the other person. I've heard plenty of accounts from women where they were out with a guy and it turned her off because he kept talking about himself.

 

There's a world of difference between someone who keeps talking about themselves and a person who is interesting and compelling, with something to share, which you discover by what they have to say about themselves.

 

That's what makes people fall for each other, usually.

[iris219]

I'll help you.

 

it makes them a hypocrite if they're short and only want a tall partner.

 

To give an example for myself, I would be a hypocrite if I only wanted very pretty girls or only wanted women with large breasts.

 

You have this weird idea that short girl=short guy, tall girl=tall guy, not fat girl=not fat guy, overweight girl=overweight guy, but that's not how attraction works. At all.

 

Would you label a thin girl a hypocrite if she only liked overweight men? Or what about a tall girl who only dated short guys?

[somedude81]

You have this weird idea that short girl=short guy, tall girl=tall guy, not fat girl=not fat guy, overweight girl=overweight guy, but that's not how attraction works. At all.

Since lots of people in couple are pretty similar I'd say you're wrong.

 

Would you label a thin girl a hypocrite if she only liked overweight men? Or what about a tall girl who only dated short guys?

And crazy too.

[Lonely Ronin]

When there are girls I'm out talking to them. I see that as me being sociable.

 

If there aren't any girls around that I want to talk to, then I'll talk to a dude.

 

You are out by yourself then I take it?

 

 

I've heard plenty of accounts from women where they were out with a guy and it turned her off because he kept talking about himself.

99% of the time, this can be narrowed down to two things

 

1. The guy just won't shut up. As in,He won't let her finish a thought, or get a word in edge wise.

 

2. All he does is talk about himself in a bragging fashion. What car he has, where he lives, how much he makes, what he does for fun. It's usually a "I think I'm awesome because of ...." list.

 

 

And of course, it's not like I never talk about myself. If I have a relevant piece of info to say about myself I'll do it then I'll turn it back over to her.

 

Based on your past posting history, I get the feeling your conversations with women are like 95% her 5% you. IMO a proper flowing conversation with a woman should be 50/50.

[Lonely Ronin]

Since lots of people in couple are pretty similar I'd say you're wrong.

 

Step of the college campus for a little while, and I think you will see you are wrong, and she is right.

[KungFuJoe]

I'll help you.

 

it makes them a hypocrite if they're short and only want a tall partner.

 

To give an example for myself, I would be a hypocrite if I only wanted very pretty girls or only wanted women with large breasts.

 

Basically, you're calling my wife a hypocrite because she only wants tall guys, even though she's what you would consider "short" at 5'4"?

 

You're off your rocker. My wife is effing gorgeous with an awesome personality to boot. She could have any guy she wanted and luckily I'm the exact type she wanted. She's not a hypocrite...she just knows exactly what she wants and she knows she can get it.

 

There is a HUGE difference, but you just don't seem to get it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Since lots of people in couple are pretty similar I'd say you're wrong.

 

That's ridiculous. I believe that you are talking to a woman who has actually been a part of a couple, maybe more than once. I think that what she has to say about attraction, being a couple, etc. would have a lot bigger chance of not being "wrong" than your skewed perceptions.

 

 

And crazy too.

 

Why hurl insults? You have no idea what makes people tick at all. ANY people.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'll help you.

 

it makes them a hypocrite if they're short and only want a tall partner.

 

To give an example for myself, I would be a hypocrite if I only wanted very pretty girls or only wanted women with large breasts.

 

What point is that supposed to makec:confused:? You only want a slender girl, right? You are not flexible on that point. So what is different about only wanting a tall man? Try to understand that a woman is not taking her own height into consideration when she's feeling attracted, or not, to some man. Ever.

 

You know what I really think about all of this? That you are just like the handful of guys around here who post nonstop about how a woman's "value" decreases past the age of 25 … because her "value," in their (and your) opinion is only in her looks. And you, because you allegedly have a penis, are not subject to that type of judgement. YOU (and the other guys like this) should be judged for your other sterling qualities; for example, not being a hatchet murderer.

 

You're just less honest than those guys, because you've figured out that they're all a laughingstock for regular people.

 

Get it through your head: women liking only tall guys is exactly the same as you only liking slender girls. So, either expand your own horizons, label yourself "stupid" and "shallow," or else stop complaining about women who do what you do.

[KungFuJoe]

The problem with somedude is just an extreme lack of self confidence. This has caused him to feel that women are BETTER than him and in turn has led him to DESPISE women.

 

Which is why all his posts are about how unobtainable they are, unreasonable their "demands" are, and how men have to bend over backwards to get one. As if they are a prize that needs to be "won".

 

If somedude would stop seeing women and men as these completely different creatures and realize that it's not men vs women...it's just a whole bunch of people on this planet, each with their own wants and desires...then maybe his attitude would improve and his luck with women would change.

 

But, unfortunately, people like him just see what they want to see and read what they want to read, effectively blocking anything that doesn't fit their narrow minded viewpoint from consideration.

[TheBigQuestion]

What point is that supposed to makec:confused:? You only want a slender girl, right? You are not flexible on that point. So what is different about only wanting a tall man? Try to understand that a woman is not taking her own height into consideration when she's feeling attracted, or not, to some man. Ever.

 

You know what I really think about all of this? That you are just like the handful of guys around here who post nonstop about how a woman's "value" decreases past the age of 25 … because her "value," in their (and your) opinion is only in her looks. And you, because you allegedly have a penis, are not subject to that type of judgement. YOU (and the other guys like this) should be judged for your other sterling qualities; for example, not being a hatchet murderer.

 

You're just less honest than those guys, because you've figured out that they're all a laughingstock for regular people.

 

Get it through your head: women liking only tall guys is exactly the same as you only liking slender girls. So, either expand your own horizons, label yourself "stupid" and "shallow," or else stop complaining about women who do what you do.

 

I'm not one to ever say anything in support of SD81's pity parties, but I really do think his preferences are overemphasized and often mischaracterized by other posters in his threads. It's not happening here to the same extent as it did in the past, but the gist of it is the same: SD is getting reamed out for having perfectly reasonable preferences while people are simultaneously misrepresenting them. For instance, you're correct that SD81 likes slender women. However, his range of acceptable mates includes pretty much any female of reasonable age who isn't obese, another assertion that he has made abundantly clear numerous times. SD81's age preferences seem to gravitate toward college-aged women thanks to his environment, but I'm supremely confident he wouldn't turn down a woman in her early-30s. Similarly, if he knew where and how to approach women in that age group, he would do so, as explicitly stated by him throughout the years. SD81 has only ONE ironclad dealbreaker, and although it is shallow (all physical preferences are arguably shallow), it is far less restrictive than the types of female dealbreakers about which he complains. It is also a dealbreaker that most people share.

 

What's transpired in this thread is just a continuation of a pattern of pervasive targeting of SD81's posts. A while back, he mentioned that he preferred women with large breasts. In many of his subsequent threads and posts, his preferences and ideals (which are not equivalent to his dealbreakers) have been slung back at him even when he doesn't say anything inflammatory. Non sequitur potshots using his preferences as ammunition have been a prominent feature of his threads for a long time now. It does NOTHING to help him. Give it a rest.

[edgygirl]

I have to admit, I read your posts and I think: "Wait, you had your fun in your 20s and turned guys down. That's all well and good. And now that you're getting older and want to settle down, the guys whom you turned down are turning you down. That's their perogative too. You're actually expecting sympathy though? And you're blaming men for not giving you a chance? Isn't that what you were doing to men when you were younger?" I feel bad for you but not too bad. After all, men are only doing to you what you were doing to them. So I think you need to lose your victim thinking and take full responsibility. The attitude of coming on here and blaming your unhappiness on our gender for being too shallow, for not giving you a chance, for "hating women", is very off-putting.

 

We give a woman commitment and marriage because there is something about her that we can't live without. NOT because her biological clock is ticking or she feels "she has had her fun and now it's time for her to settle down". The risks of getting itched to the wrong women are too great, and the allure of freedom is too strong.

 

It's all about interpretation. Your assessment of things I said here is not that correct. Let me do a quick summary.

 

In my 20s, I made it very clear to men I dated that I had other interests than being in a relationship that lead to marriage. I think when you make your intentions clear, all is cool and fair. I did pass on wonderful people I had LTRs with when they insisted in getting serious as I both didn't feel mature enough to go into it, and I wanted to establish a career so I didn't depend on someone for the rest of my life.

 

In my mid-30s I finally matured and felt ready to find someone (not that I got "older" and then desperate as you're implying). For some people it takes longer to mature and know who they are and what they want. I didn't want to commit before I reached this level of maturity. I did have a few LTR that didn't work, just happens to everyone. And then I found someone I fell for and we got married in my mid 30s, although we had incompatible goals in life. I was naive and thought love would make things fall into place. They didn't. I got divorced.

 

I am not expecting sympathy. I am just conveying what happened in my life and happens in the lives of several women. Not everyone has a clear path in life.

 

I don't feel men are "turning me down" or not giving me a chance as you're implying. I feel that it's really really amazingly rare for me to get interested in someone just because the pool in my age is so much smaller than it was before. And when I do meet someone, for one reason or another, it hasn't work out this year with the guys I've encountered. I broke up in May with someone who I saw for a year and wanted to marry me. So I am not sure where you got this theory that "men are not giving me a chance and doing what I did to them when I was younger" (???). I never did anything wrong with men when I was younger. I stated what I wanted to every single guy I dated. Yours is such a skewed emotional male PoV on things. It's twisted, I am sorry.

 

I am having difficulties finding people I find interesting that I can connect and develop a relationship with. Isn't that the case for most of us here on LS? What is the problem exactly?

 

Why don't you put yourself in women's place and see how would you feel if you had an expiration date to have children, how would you feel if people criticized you for wanting to try and have children before time is up? You don't have this problem, so don't judge!

 

YES - I think you should give a woman you want commitment and marriage because you can't live without her, of course. But discarding a woman that might be this woman you're talking about ONLY because she has the biological clock issue is stupid and insensitive. Thinking that most women will do it only to catch a fool to have a child is absurd. Maybe some would, but not this one here. This guy who fell for me in May knew about it and was willing to do whatever it took to be with me, because he apparently felt just like you described - he didn't want to lose me.

 

The funny thing is, as opposed to what you all say here, I DID NOT stay with him for the sole purpose to procreate, although he was an excellent catch in many people's point of view, because... I did not love him enough. See? Wow news flash - a woman, albeit wanting a child, won't necessarily stay with a guy just to have one! Got it???

I think you guys are too scared of being used by women as if any older women would catch the first guy available. Ugh. If you can't read if a woman legitimately likes you for who you are and you freak out only because she has x years to have a child and inquired about your interest in doing so (IF a relationship develops and you want to stay together) so she doesn't waste time with a guy who has no possibility or interest whatsoever in having a baby any time soon, I see it as an issue that is in your mind and related your own insecurities, not with the woman's intentions.

 

Never mind, if you just won't go for a woman with this issue, it's your prerogative. I wouldn't want to stay with a man who is not understanding of his potential partner's needs and who isn't compassionate, who thinks that women who want a baby sooner rather than later because they don't have a choice will catch just anyone for this purpose.

 

There are sperm banks out there, did you know? we don't *need you. We *want you. If a woman is seeking a relationship with you it's because she wants you, not because she necessarily needs to use you for a hidden agenda. You guys, on the contrary, need a women or you can't be a parent. Both my therapist and my OB-GYN brilliantly reminded me of it

Edited December 27, 2012 by edgygirl

[edgygirl]

I'm not one to ever say anything in support of SD81's pity parties, but I really do think his preferences are overemphasized and often mischaracterized by other posters in his threads. It's not happening here to the same extent as it did in the past, but the gist of it is the same: SD is getting reamed out for having perfectly reasonable preferences while people are simultaneously misrepresenting them. For instance, you're correct that SD81 likes slender women. However, his range of acceptable mates includes pretty much any female of reasonable age who isn't obese, another assertion that he has made abundantly clear numerous times. SD81's age preferences seem to gravitate toward college-aged women thanks to his environment, but I'm supremely confident he wouldn't turn down a woman in her early-30s. Similarly, if he knew where and how to approach women in that age group, he would do so, as explicitly stated by him throughout the years. SD81 has only ONE ironclad dealbreaker, and although it is shallow (all physical preferences are arguably shallow), it is far less restrictive than the types of female dealbreakers about which he complains. It is also a dealbreaker that most people share.

 

What's transpired in this thread is just a continuation of a pattern of pervasive targeting of SD81's posts. A while back, he mentioned that he preferred women with large breasts. In many of his subsequent threads and posts, his preferences and ideals (which are not equivalent to his dealbreakers) have been slung back at him even when he doesn't say anything inflammatory. Non sequitur potshots using his preferences as ammunition have been a prominent feature of his threads for a long time now. It does NOTHING to help him. Give it a rest.

 

I think the main point is: beggars can't be choosers. If it's not working with his preferred types (whatever they are) and if he doesn't want to stay single (and it seems he doesn't), he should either decide to go for women he normally wouldn't, where he might have more chances to find someone who'd go for him, or just stay single and stop the pitty party of how life is unfair and that the women he wants won't go for him. Newsflash: life IS unfair. You have to try and get the best you can get. And sometimes the best you can get is beyond your preferences. Deal with it or accept your circumstances.

 

It could also be that what is turning women off as a few implied is something in his personality or the way he feels about women in general that makes him relate to them in a weird way that weird them out or sets them off in some way. If he chose to stay in the same pattern, not work on himself or his preferences, and expect different results than the ones he's been getting, he is being either very naive or insane. He's a nice guy and I hope he finds his way.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm not one to ever say anything in support of SD81's pity parties, but I really do think his preferences are overemphasized and often mischaracterized by other posters in his threads.

 

I'm NOT "reaming" him for ANY of his preferences, even though I have opinions about them.

 

My reaming comes from frustration over SD's constant assertions that the preferences of WOMEN are "stupid," "shallow," "hypocritical," etc - while he sticks to his own like glue.

 

I ONLY bring up his own preferences in (unsuccessful) attempts to show that the preferences women have are not any "worse" than the ones he has.

 

As I said, I might have opinions about other peoples' preferences, but I really don't spend any time judging them because I truly know that we like what we like. If we can expand our horizons without feeling like we're "settling," that's good, but it's not possible for everyone to do this.

[somedude81]

Yup this thread turned into another, "lets bash SD81 because he does poorly with women and has self-esteem issues. What?! He's not attracted to obese women when he can't attract anybody?! How dare he! Beggars can't be choosers, he should settle for anybody and everybody."

[Lonely Ronin]

How dare he! Beggars can't be choosers, he should settle for anybody and everybody."

 

You realize this is exactly what you are saying when you complaining about a woman's preferences right?

[Lonely Ronin]

Since I started this side tangent i feel coupled to respond to this.

 

 

Why don't you put yourself in women's place and see how would you feel if you had an expiration date to have children, how would you feel if people criticized you for wanting to try and have children before time is up? You don't have this problem, so don't judge!

Women are not the only ones who have a best buy date. Several studies have shown the men have a best buy date as well, it just happens to be later. Some studies have even suggested that if a man waits to long, he had a better chance of negatively affecting the child than a woman does.

 

 

But discarding a woman that might be this woman you're talking about ONLY because she has the biological clock issue is stupid and insensitive. Thinking that most women will do it only to catch a fool to have a child is absurd. Maybe some would, but not this one here.

I did not say, imply or even hint at that most women do this. Nor did I say she was trying to catch me to lock me down. With the woman I specifically referred to everything about our interactions after a certain point indicated she wanted to have children as soon as possible, and didn't seem to care so much who it happened with as long as it happened.

[Imajerk17]

 

Why don't you put yourself in women's place and see how would you feel if you had an expiration date to have children, how would you feel if people criticized you for wanting to try and have children before time is up? You don't have this problem, so don't judge!

 

Well actually I do put myself in a woman's place, at least in the sense that I make it a point not to waste a woman's time. I definitely don't criticize anyone for pursuing their happiness--such as trying to have children while they still are physically able to, as long as they don't hurt other people. It was your perogative to decide you weren't ready to settle down in your 20's and I'm sure you were fair in your dealings with the men you dated. But your dating pool is now the way it is now for better or worse and it's no one's fault really.

 

I think you guys are too scared of being used by women as if any older women would catch the first guy available. Ugh. If you can't read if a woman legitimately likes you for who you are and you freak out only because she has x years to have a child and inquired about your interest in doing so (IF a relationship develops and you want to stay together) so she doesn't waste time with a guy who has no possibility or interest whatsoever in having a baby any time soon, I see it as an issue that is in your mind and related your own insecurities, not with the woman's intentions.

 

 

If a woman's biological clock issue is grounds for me (or another guy such as Lonely Ronin) dumping a woman, then it could mean that I wasn't on the same page regarding marriage and children. Or it could mean that I wasn't that into HER, to the point where I could see giving up my freedom and having children with her. So I did the honorable thing and let her go. I'm not "judging" I am instead doing what is best for me while being fair to her by being straight-up. What else do you want from a guy?

 

Women ditch men they deem too eager for a relationship (WTF? Isn't that why most people date?), except of course when they are really into the guy back--and then the guy's eagerness/clinginess is endearing. Men come on here and whine how "it's not fair" how women don't like needy guys and can't women see how hard dating is for guys and so on, and I am just as harsh on them. Anyway, it works in a similar fashion RE the biological clock issue--you had at least one guy by your own admission who was willing to give you marriage and children on your time table.

 

Overall edgygirl, I just get the impression from your posts on this forum in general (and your "crying girl" avatar) that you feel men are "unfair" in the way we go about dating. You gripe an awful lot about us going for younger women, and so on. As soon as you accept that everyone is going to go for the best possible deal they can get for themselves in dating without it bothering you, the better off you will be.

Edited December 28, 2012 by Imajerk17

[edgygirl]

Well actually I do put myself in a woman's place, at least in the sense that I make it a point not to waste a woman's time. I definitely don't criticize anyone for pursuing their happiness, as long as they don't hurt other people. It was your perogative to decide you weren't ready to settle down in your 20's and I'm sure you were fair in your dealings with the men you dated.

 

If a woman's biological clock issue is grounds for me dumping a woman, then it could mean that I wasn't on the same page regarding marriage and children. Or it could mean that I wasn't that into HER to the point where I could see giving up my freedom and having children with her. So I did the honorable thing and let her go. I'm not "judging" I am instead doing what is best for me while being fair to her by being straight-up. What else do you want from a guy?

 

Women ditch men they deem too eager for a relationship (WTF? Isn't that why most people date?), except of course when they are really into the guy back--and then the guy's eagerness/clinginess is endearing. Men come on here and whine how "it's not fair" and I am harsh on them.

 

Overall edgygirl, I just get the impression from your posts on this forum in general (and your "crying girl" avatar) that you expect "too much" acknowledgement for your pain. And that acknowledgement is not going to come, at least on here. Have you tried therapy?

 

As I said, everyone is entitled to do whatever they please. But implying that men are doing to me "what I did to them" in my 20s as you said in your post... (???) doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Sincerely, it sounds like the bitter brigade here who has issues with women who rejected them. Doesn't make sense in my case, not only because I didn't do anything you're implying to anyone, and also not because someone is doing something specifically to me as you're also implying. No one is doing something to me. It's just an unfortunate situation I am in, partially and perhaps mainly because of my own choices.

 

I don't see how I am "expecting acknowledgement for my pain". Isn't this a support group where people share their experiences and ideas? I come here for insight on how to improve my life, my chances of finding and keeping what I want and how to improve myself and get rid of non constructive ways of thinking and behaviors I have. Many share their pains here. So I honestly don't get your point. I am sorry if my posts sound like whining to you or something like that.

 

Lol I didn't even notice my doll is "crying". All the dolls from this manufacturer are a little goth/dark and many people love them. Believe me, I am a very bubbly person although I do have an underground side/taste which is reflected by this doll.

 

I don't understand why so many people here seem to make this as a men vs. women war. I never saw it like that in my whole life. Nor do my friends. I am not bitter about men. I don't see them as my enemy. I don't think men are doing anything to s**** me. Not the men I've met in my life. But apparently I haven't met men like the ones I constantly see here. And I certainly hope men I meet don't look at me and think about that biatch who treated them bad and project that on me without a reason.

 

All I want is to find true love, just like the next person here. Seeking acknowledgement of my pain? I don't see it, whatever that means. Be more specific if you'd like. Trying to improve myself by sharing my experiences and hearing people's insight on my (wrong/right/skewed/not skewed) perspective? Yes, I do that. That's the main reason I'm here.

 

Therapy? Why, are you implying I should shut up and not talk about my problems here? If it's bothering you, don't read it. There are plenty of good souls who were happy to give me a different perspective on things that helped me a bunch. If you are not up to help me or others, don't.

Edited December 28, 2012 by edgygirl

[Imajerk17]

Well, you were the one who seemed to think it was "unfair" that LR letting the girl go because of her biological clock. You also wrote a few posts if I recall correctly lamenting about how many men on here insist on going for younger girls. Like that struck you as unfair.

 

I never implied that you were unfair to the men you were dating in your 20s and now you're getting your comeuppance. But just as you made your choices then and you had the perogative to do so, so do men with regards to biological clocks, and that doesn't make them "wrong".

[edgygirl]

Wait, you edited your post before I replied... so I'm lost now.

 

I think you added this bit and deleted other parts?:

 

Overall edgygirl, I just get the impression from your posts on this forum in general (and your "crying girl" avatar) that you feel men are "unfair" in the way we go about dating. You gripe an awful lot about us going for younger women, and so on. As soon as you accept that everyone is going to go for the best possible deal they can get for themselves in dating without it bothering you, the better off you will be.

 

So now what is really bothering you about me comes out after your editing. You're saying that I complain about men being "unfair". No, I don't. Not in real life. I give my opinion when the bitter brigade, specifically here on LS, bashes women who are over 25. I do not see it in real life. I never had this issue and have never been rejected because of my age or my looks. Ever. So I call it on you when I see it. If you guys are bothered by being called on something here, don't post it. It's a board and everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as it's not disrespectful.

 

What you don't seem to understand, is that going for someone younger is not necessarily the "best deal". But you'll probably only see it when you age, so... I rest my case.

[Imajerk17]

Wait, you edited your post before I replied... so I'm lost now.

 

I think you added this bit and deleted other parts?:

 

 

 

So now what is really bothering you about me comes out after your editing. You're saying that I complain about men being "unfair". No, I don't. Not in real life. I give my opinion when the bitter brigade, specifically here on LS, bashes women who are over 25. I do not see it in real life. I never had this issue and have never been rejected because of my age or my looks. Ever. So I call it on you when I see it. If you guys are bothered by being called on something here, don't post it. It's a board and everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as it's not disrespectful.

 

What you don't seem to understand, is that going for someone younger is not necessarily the "best deal". But you'll probably only see it when you age, so... I rest my case.

 

Well, yes that is what I was referring to. Meanwhile, I'd like to know WHO bashed women over 25. Name some names because I didn't see any such posts. I think you women are merely projecting to be honest.

[edgygirl]

Well, you were the one who seemed to think it was "unfair" that LR letting the girl go because of her biological clock. You also wrote a few posts if I recall correctly lamenting about how many men on here insist on going for younger girls. Like that struck you as unfair.

 

I never implied that you were unfair to the men you were dating in your 20s and now you're getting your comeuppance. But just as you made your choices then and you had the perogative to do so, so do men with regards to biological clocks, and that doesn't make them "wrong".

 

I don't think I used the word "unfair" with LR, but I am too lazy to go check it now . I just thought he might have let someone special who might have been the woman of his life (or not) go because he reached the conclusion that her main agenda was to have a child. When maybe in fact she might have thought something in the lines of "I am really into this guy and I could potentially see myself being with him but as I have a time limit to have a child, I should check if he's open to it so I don't waste my time with someone who can't accommodate my goals in life". Which is fair enough. So you see how my issue is not about someone not being unfair or "wrong"? I just get really surprised when men think that a woman would have a child with someone she is not really into, for the sole purpose of having a child. In my world view and the people I socialize with, this is not very common. A friend of a friend just used a sperm bank and had a child by herself. Working women have alternatives and don't need to use men for that "purpose".