Butterflying Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 When it has been established that you are an exclusive couple, do you have to tell your significant other specifically not to flirt with other people in front of you? I can understand everyone flirts sometimes. But I think it's disrespectful to do it in the presence of your mate. However, I not sure rather this is standard because it has happened to me with more than one guy I've dated in the past. Before I start being insecure, I'd like to know your thoughts on what I should expect from this situation. Should I tell him not to flirt or just hope that he'll figure it out on his own and not do it? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 When it has been established that you are an exclusive couple, do you have to tell your significant other specifically not to flirt with other people in front of you? I can understand everyone flirts sometimes. But I think it's disrespectful to do it in the presence of your mate. However, I not sure rather this is standard because it has happened to me with more than one guy I've dated in the past. Before I start being insecure, I'd like to know your thoughts on what I should expect from this situation. Should I tell him not to flirt or just hope that he'll figure it out on his own and not do it? I dotn think you should have to say to partner male or female would you mind not flirting in front of me....it is disrespectful...if a guy i am with flirts in front of me ...i wander off...find someone else to talk too.....its a deal breaker in an early relationship for m e...shows total lack fo respect for a woman they are dating its uncomfortable.....i dont date guys i am not comfortable with......even the worst flirt i have been with knew me well enough to know no go zone on the flirting in front of me.....if i see it....im out.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bittersweet memories Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I dotn think you should have to say to partner male or female would you mind not flirting in front of me....it is disrespectful...if a guy i am with flirts in front of me ...i wander off...find someone else to talk too.....its a deal breaker in an early relationship for m e...shows total lack fo respect for a woman they are dating its uncomfortable.....i dont date guys i am not comfortable with......even the worst flirt i have been with knew me well enough to know no go zone on the flirting in front of me.....if i see it....im out.....deb I totally agree. If the guy I'm dating does that in front of me its a deal breaker. They should know better and you deserve better!! I would wait and see if it happens. If it happens let him know... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterflying Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 Yeah I know. We've been dating for seven months (the last two months exclusive). So far it has happened twice. The first time was the day we announced our commitment. We were at a restaurant and some strange woman approached him at the bar when he went to get our drinks. I was waiting for him at the table. I noticed it was taking a while. When I looked over he was chatting it up with some giggly blond. She kept saying "oh stop" and lightly pushing him on his chest while laughing. He was telling jokes or something. I starred long enough for him to see me. But then he turned his back so he wasn't facing me and kept talking to the woman. Finally when he returned to the table I asked if it was someone he knew. He complained about the woman, said she was an annoying stranger that was trying to pick him up. The next time happened recently when we were grocery shopping together. While the very young cashier (seemed to be still in high school, not even 18) was scanning our items, I browsed through the gossip magazines, not really paying attention to my boyfriend in front of me talking to the girl. Then suddenly she started giggling. I looked up. He was laughing to and apologizing for having distracted her. Whatever he had said or done caused her to make such a huge error. All of our items had to be voided and rescanned. A manager was called over. My boyfriend defended the girl by saying it was his fault. It was such a mess. When we got out I asked him what he had done to cause her mistake. He told me he was flirting with the girl. She had gorgeous eyes and lips. When he said that she lost focus on what she was doing. He felt really bad about it because her manager seemed upset. So I sat there silently wondering why he bothered flirting with the girl at all. It's okay for him to notice a beautiful woman. But he doesn't have to tell her what he's thinking. Now he could see his flirting caused a problem, not to mention my feelings. Since I haven't said anything he thinks I'm okay with it. Link to post Share on other sites
sadpanda87 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 usually i have this convo with the girl im with and define these mutually accepted boundaries. ie. is it ok to hang out with an opposite gender friend alone in a non romantic fashion? what is considered flirting and what is appropriate etc then afterwards, whatever over the line is considered cheating personally i would never tolerate my girl flirting openly infront me.... or behind my back! however i do recognize people can see things through their jealousy eyes Link to post Share on other sites
Angel Heart Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 OP, ask yourself why your partner is flirting in front of you; just ask in a casual way. Men who flirt in front of their partner does indicate a lack of respect and should be addressed if you want to continue with him. Hope you have a wonderful Holiday and Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Robert P Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 When it has been established that you are an exclusive couple, do you have to tell your significant other specifically not to flirt with other people in front of you? I can understand everyone flirts sometimes. But I think it's disrespectful to do it in the presence of your mate. However, I not sure rather this is standard because it has happened to me with more than one guy I've dated in the past. Before I start being insecure, I'd like to know your thoughts on what I should expect from this situation. Should I tell him not to flirt or just hope that he'll figure it out on his own and not do it? Men tend to flirt sometimes. It makes us feel powerful, as if we could attract the attention of other girls. But it's nothing serious. Of course, he should never do it in front of you. Yes, it is disrespectful. But it's not a reason to break up. Not yet. First you have to tell him, honestly, that you're not comfortable with it. It should make him stop. If he doesn't stop flirting in front of you, then you should break up. That's my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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