Astera Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I broke up with my ex boyfriend of three years about 4-5 months ago, because I was bored and needed space; he always treated me well and I was fine up until today. For whatever reason, I'm missing him like crazy. I even sent him a text today and he responded. About a month ago, he told me he couldn't stop thinking about me and still had dreams about me and told me he couldn't move on. I don't know what I should do.. does he still care? I'm worried that he might have found someone else and I'm really regretting breaking up with him.. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 This is actually common... you broke up with him for a reason right? What was that reason? You are missing him because you are only remembering the good stuff... the mind works like that, eventually the bad things fade, so you forget why you left him. Are there not other people in your life to be interested in? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Astera Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 I broke up with him because I was bored, I guess. I felt like I was being smothered.. but looking back, it wasn't such a bad thing. I haven't really been interested in anyone else since I broke up with him, either. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I broke up with him because I was bored, I guess. I felt like I was being smothered.. but looking back, it wasn't such a bad thing. I haven't really been interested in anyone else since I broke up with him, either. What I wouldn't give for my ex to have this mentality lol. Maybe one day....honestly, if he said a month ago he couldnt move on, there is a solid chance that he would be willing to work on it with you. Now, PLEASE PLEASE make sure, for all dumpees out there, that you think about this REALLY hard before trying to get into his life again. There is nothing worse than someone with second thoughts just to realize they were right the first time. Getting dumped the second time is almost as worse at the first because you just feel used at that point. I hope things work out . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 O boy I get the feeling this guy is in for a world or hurt lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Astera Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 why do you think so? Link to post Share on other sites
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I broke up with him because I was bored, I guess. I felt like I was being smothered.. Don't lead this guy on if you're just lonely bc of the holidays. Ask yourself "do I really/can I really be with him the rest of my life?" If the answer is yes, have him read Alphamale's guide in my signature, then buy him the "No More Mr. Nice Guy" book by Dr. Glover. The solution for your concerns above. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I dont know. Is it just now your missing him. Or for a while? Just seems like if you were a little bored and smothered maybe i could have been worked on. Do you love him? Or do you just miss him some? Because you havent found anything better yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Astera Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 I dont know. Is it just now your missing him. Or for a while? Just seems like if you were a little bored and smothered maybe i could have been worked on. Do you love him? Or do you just miss him some? Because you havent found anything better yet? I think a mixture of both. I never really stopped caring, but the relationship was just so overwhelming. I don't really want to find anyone else right now tbh. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 (edited) I think a mixture of both. I never really stopped caring, but the relationship was just so overwhelming. I don't really want to find anyone else right now tbh. Maybe take some time and really think about it. The feeling will probably pass. You might just be lonley and that makes things seem more appealing. If you were that smothered it will probably happen again unless he makes some changes and you also decide that you can live with that degree of attention. Just because you miss him and care for him doesn't mean your decision was wrong necessarily. Edited December 25, 2012 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
MyAngel Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 If you truly love him and know without a doubt you want him back, take this chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Astera Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 I'll tell him, I'm just scared of getting rejected. Link to post Share on other sites
jags2bowl27 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I'll tell him, I'm just scared of getting rejected. your scared about being rejected? wtf do you think he felt like 5 months ago. JUST THAT COMMENT RIGHT THERE makes me hope he says no. Your not ready for a committed relationship, your doing this out of convience and worrying about being rejected? Shoot if i TRULY loved someone, i would leap over a freaking bridge to make sure he realized what a mistake you made. Move on Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I'll tell him, I'm just scared of getting rejected. Well i for one think you should give it some more time to REALLY analyse you feelings and make sure your not just a little lonely. However if you do go back to communicate with him it will probably have to be basically on your knees, apologising telling him you love him, what a mistake you made etcetera. This is the ONLY way i would even listen to my EX after 3 month and i would still say no. So i guess that is the risk you need to take if you feel that strongly. Just be prepared he might not be too happy to see you. Not saying that he wont listen and it might go ok but you'll need to lay it all out on the line. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 (edited) Also you may have to do it in person. I wouldn't even see anymore texts or email form my ex. I wouldn't trust what she said. Unless she went ALL OUT to see me. If you didn't leave him for another guy you might have a chance. After 3 month I'm developing a healthy hate of my EX and sometimes imagine her begging and me telling her NO WAY and keeping my self respect. So you need to be prepared that he might HATE you as well as LOVE you. You'll need to accept that it is normal that he is SUPER SUPER mad at you and will need to accept it with grace and dignity and understand 1000 percent Are you sure you can live with all the smothering? He might not change. Can you? Edited December 25, 2012 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
GLDheart Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Just tell him you were missing him. And ask him to maybe catch up on each others lives etc... No need to make anything out of it... yet. Get together and see if there is any spark there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Just tell him you were missing him. And ask him to maybe catch up on each others lives etc... No need to make anything out of it... yet. Get together and see if there is any spark there. I think this is better advise than mine. lol Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 You broke up with him because you were bored...what makes you think you won't get bored again? honestly, before you go jumping back into things (and you're prob just doing it now cause you are bored again!) you need to think this through. What are you going to do when the initial fluttery feelings wear off and it is back to the status quo? Link to post Share on other sites
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I broke up with my ex boyfriend of three years about 4-5 months ago, because I was bored and needed space; he always treated me well and I was fine up until today. For whatever reason, I'm missing him like crazy. I even sent him a text today and he responded. About a month ago, he told me he couldn't stop thinking about me and still had dreams about me and told me he couldn't move on. I don't know what I should do.. does he still care? I'm worried that he might have found someone else and I'm really regretting breaking up with him.. I'm not going to judge you, but I do think you need to realize you're making these decisions based on fleeting emotion. Three years is a long time to be with someone, and if you were bored and smothered back then that's not going to change very much now. You didn't want this guy anymore because he was suffocating you -- what's changed now that 4 months after the breakup he's still telling you he's dreaming about you and can't move on, or answering you immediately after a 5-month lull? I also left a couple of girls in the past and missed them afterward, but really, all I missed about them was being unconditionally loved and taken care of sexually. There wasn't that much in them to make me love them the second time anymore than I had the first, so I knew when I tried to win them back that I was being deceptive. I've never really fallen in love with one person twice. You should get back with your ex if you want. After all, he wants you back and I think he knows what he's signing up for. After all my experiences, I believe all's fair in love and war. But what you have to ask yourself is, will you feel the same way about him after even a couple of weeks of resuming the relationship? You'll quickly remember why you left him in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Astera Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 Yeah... I'm going to try and talk to him. I texted him yesterday and he said he would call but I don't know if he will or even wants to. I guess I'll just have to wait now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Whatever you do, don't mess with this guy. Make sure you really want this before you do it. If you go after him, just to be wishy-washy and decide that you should have stayed broken up, you will have pulled the ultimate d--k move and you will absolutely devastate this guy. So don't flake. If there's any chance of you flaking -- my hunch says that there's a good shot of it -- please do not contact him. Link to post Share on other sites
Tmo2 Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Any news??? Did your ex work on himself while you were apart? Link to post Share on other sites
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