kristi628 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I come on here so that I don't contact my ex in any way. An I read posts bout exes texting especially on this day and it seriously depresses me. I haven't heard from my ex at all. Not a word in over three weeks. Really thought I would get something today. Just to show I was at least a thought in his head. Nothing. And that hurts so much worse. So I broke down. I looked at twitter. Havent in almost two weeks. He's talking about her being his wife some day all bc they hate the same movie. Mind you they've only been together for 3 weeks maybe a month. They have out their first picture as a couple on there. And in the almost two years we were together we never took one pic together. Not one. She's there on Christmas morning. W him and his amazing family. Looking like she's been there for years. And I'm crushed. I knew this day was going to be hard but not this hard. I know all the crappy things he did to me and how I'm better off without him. It just really hurts to see that she is getting the best parts of the man I love and I'm erased from his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I've received nothing from my ex either, other then a couple of Facebook comments (I ignored them) I haven't heard from my ex since October and it hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
BUBS Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I'm so sorry, I know exactly what you are going through. I really expected to hear from my ex today... it just seems like common courtesy at least. I was engaged to him 2 months ago and now I'm not even worth a second of his time to be polite and honor the love we shared when we had it. I wish I could give you advice, it stings, and I guess the only thing to do is to get through the holiday and pray the pain goes away. Good luck and merry christmas. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I got a card and present from my bf/ex (on a break) last week. left it at my office. Quite cryptic message in the card. To be honest it was harder than receiving nothing. because it gave me.hope again bow.I haven't heard.since and I feel awful.again. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 That's why you should never have any expectations that he's gonna text... In my case, my bf dumped me 2 days ago, and I wished him merry Christmas after I realized there was no way he could be convinced to try again. He also said "try and have a good Christmas, you have lots of close friends." So I never expected him to text me again on Christmas eve/day to wish me a merry Christmas. He also gave me his new year wishes in advance, so I am not expecting that he'd contact me on New Year's eve or in the new year. That said, I wish he would but I have zero expectations that he will.... Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 What's funny is those that get a text from their ex today get upset/mad/etc and they wish they never got one.....and then there are those who are expecting one and are disappointed when they don't get one lol. It's a lose/lose situation. With that, I too am waiting for one. I know all of her friends are gone and her family is not in town so not getting one would irritate me to the max. She isn't obligated to do anything, I would just hope she cared after spending the last three together. Its still 11 am here so there is still time lol Link to post Share on other sites
nsteen87 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I'm going to just tell it how it is...we are better off not hearing from any of our exes period. If you are visiting family today, leave your cell phone at home and stay away from the computer. Don't introduce any more anxiety into an already extremely anxious situation. I'm not going to let some little immature wench ruin my holiday! And if they really are thinking about it, it is that much more satisfying that we have the back bone not to break NC! Today is an opportunity to enjoy time with family and friends and take back control of OUR lives. Who cares what they are doing or what they are thinking. You never know, grandpa and grandma, or mom and dad might not be around this time next year and you don't want to hate yourself for sulking over someone who doesn't deserve a second of your attention! Life is about the moments, cherish them...Merry Christmas Everyone! 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristi628 Posted December 25, 2012 Author Share Posted December 25, 2012 I wouldn't be mad if he text. It would at least show I was a thought in his head, even if it's just a passing thought. It just brings up residual feelings about the break up. He cheated while we were trying to work things out, and a week later is in a relationship w her. And now there's pictures and comments online how she's the best in the world and how 2012 was the best year for him in terms of his personal life. How? They barely met last month. We lived together for the year. And talk about his she will be "wifey" one day. WTF? This is all too fast for them. And yet I'm here miserable not even being able to enjoy this day w my family. Bc my other half of my family is w someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I'm going to just tell it how it is...we are better off not hearing from any of our exes period. If you are visiting family today, leave your cell phone at home and stay away from the computer. Don't introduce any more anxiety into an already extremely anxious situation. I'm not going to let some little immature wench ruin my holiday! And if they really are thinking about it, it is that much more satisfying that we have the back bone not to break NC! Today is an opportunity to enjoy time with family and friends and take back control of OUR lives. Who cares what they are doing or what they are thinking. You never know, grandpa and grandma, or mom and dad might not be around this time next year and you don't want to hate yourself for sulking over someone who doesn't deserve a second of your attention! Life is about the moments, cherish them...Merry Christmas Everyone! What a good post. I'm torn on if I want text or not. We have been talking off and on for the past two weeks, but I've been starting the convo every time. I'm hoping the small talk that has been going on that she might actually care and text something. It's annoying to worry about it Link to post Share on other sites
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I come on here so that I don't contact my ex in any way. An I read posts bout exes texting especially on this day and it seriously depresses me. I haven't heard from my ex at all. Not a word in over three weeks. Really thought I would get something today. Just to show I was at least a thought in his head. Nothing. And that hurts so much worse. Not sure if it will make you feel better but my ex did not text me either. We were together for almost 9 years and we were engaged 1 of those years. I had this conversation with a good friend of mine regarding if I would rather her text or not text for xmas. In the end I realized that it would be better if she did not text even though it would show that I did cross her mind. Here is how I see it. Assuming the ex texts you....then there's the inevitable "should I text them back battle" followed by the "wow they thought of me I hope this means the door is opening up again." Thanks...but no thanks I'll pass on that. I think having them not text is the best thing. It voids the anxiety of the after thoughts that comes with that type of communication. Ultimately I think everyone who is hoping to get a text wants to know if the other person still thinks about them. Here is my opinion....I am almost certain that the other person is thinking about you or you have crossed their minds in one form or another today. It may not be enough for them to reach out to you but they have thought about you. You were a part of their life and thats never easy to completely forget. Just stay strong and try to enjoy the holidays. Don't let them ruin your xmas and I promise it will get better. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Him Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 My ex and I said Merry Christmas to each other prior to Christmas, when I initiated No Contact and said that we could not be friends, so I'm not expecting anything from him today or tonight. New Years and my upcoming birthday will be a test, but I'm not going to hold out hope for either of those. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Nothing yet, don't think there will be anything she hasn't made first contact since the BU in july. And the way things were left 2 weeks ago, I doubt she will do anything today. I guess it could be a good thing in a way of not opening up anything, but it hurts that she's right next door. I think nothing hurts because it makes you feel like they don't care, even if that's not the case. At least the holidays are almost over, then it won't be so bad again I was doing fine before them, didn't think they would be this rough. Being around so many couples reminds me i'm alone though and it starting to get to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 So far no word from my ex and in some ways I am glad. It would be weird and confusing hearing from my ex. I guess it allows me to move on faster. Because now I know she doesn't care at all and has probably moved on. So it lets me know that moving on for me should be easier too. We all want our ex's to come back in some form either to make us feel better or to have them back. But reality is holding on to a false hope isn't great. Sometimes it's better to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 And in the almost two years we were together we never took one pic together. Not one. Did you ever bring it up and he didn't want it? My ex took one picture of us together, the day that he was leaving for his country after finishing his job in my country (he knew he was coming back, though, and we met up afterwards). But that was the ONLY picture we had together, and when I brought it up once, and brought my camera to have some pics taken, he didn't let me, he said we already had "pictures" together... I said, yeah, only 1, where's the harm in having more? He was adamant, though. Now I know why. He was treating me as his ****-buddy and was ashamed of me , and didn't want risking his mates seeing him with me (somehow). Pictures make something official and give it more of a relationship status. Me, I was his ****-buddy (in his mind), though I never knew it. He was never serious about me, never loved me, never even felt attracted to me. Just used me for blowjobs and sex , and then dumped me the minute he realized he didn't have upcoming trips to my country for his job.. Link to post Share on other sites
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I classify this as "forced getting over". You put the power in the ex's hands to get over them. With every significant date (Christmas, b-day, first date, etc.) that passes with them not contacting you, you're forced to slowly let go over time. The dumpee puts the power of deciding/letting go on the dumper. Take back the power now, decide you're better/deserve better than him, you don't want him contacting you! Otherwise we'll see a lot of "haven't heard from them on new years" threads. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I don't understand why people are waiting for exes to contact them today. They're exes for a reason. I was shocked when I got a card and present from mine....didn't expect at all. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I don't understand why people are waiting for exes to contact them today. They're exes for a reason. I was shocked when I got a card and present from mine....didn't expect at all. Maybe it's just an excuse for me, but mine is my next door neighbor so it kinda feels weird not to. It seems normal to at least exchange a text in my opinion. The irony is, in a way I almost feel bad for her, she's been home like the whole time alone. Meanwhile i've been to christmas partys every night and tons of dinners and been crazy busy. Meanwhile everytime I come home I see she's at home. Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 When my ex broke up with me over 2 weeks ago, I was the one who initiated we not stay in touch for the next 4 weeks because i was hurt and also he was leaving the states to be with his family. I really just needed the space and time to think. He listened and didnt break contact. but still asked about me to one of the girls i work with, their friends on facebook. Anyway i feel like not sending a merry christmas is games and every situation is different. Since i was the one who told him not to talk to me i decided i did want to send him a merry christmas text. He replied right away saying he was hoping that my family came down and that i was spending it with people i care about. I replied that my family did not come down but that i was going t be at church, and along with that told him to enjoy his new years. Ending the conversation that way so he would not keep writing. He replied again asking if i was going to my co workers house. I didnt reply. At this point i dont feel he needs to know what is going on in my life. So yeah i dont know if i did the right thing or not Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 When my ex broke up with me over 2 weeks ago, I was the one who initiated we not stay in touch for the next 4 weeks because i was hurt and also he was leaving the states to be with his family. I really just needed the space and time to think. He listened and didnt break contact. but still asked about me to one of the girls i work with, their friends on facebook. Anyway i feel like not sending a merry christmas is games and every situation is different. Since i was the one who told him not to talk to me i decided i did want to send him a merry christmas text. He replied right away saying he was hoping that my family came down and that i was spending it with people i care about. I replied that my family did not come down but that i was going t be at church, and along with that told him to enjoy his new years. Ending the conversation that way so he would not keep writing. He replied again asking if i was going to my co workers house. I didnt reply. At this point i dont feel he needs to know what is going on in my life. So yeah i dont know if i did the right thing or not NEVER initiate contact and NEVER respond to their contact. You cant heal doing this. It gets better but you need to cut him out of your life completely. He wanted out so take your power back and do just that leave forever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 NEVER initiate contact and NEVER respond to their contact. You cant heal doing this. It gets better but you need to cut him out of your life completely. He wanted out so take your power back and do just that leave forever. we had a short relationship. SO my feelings are not strong enough and im actually not in pain from the breakup at the moment, just the first week. I also did not get to the point of being in love with him yet and same with him. SO even if we stayed friends and nothing more im ok with that. Now this sort of thing has happenend with my previous ex. on and off. Eventually i cut him out and it was the best thing. And by no means im not waiting on him coming back. were both at different point in our lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 What good will a hey or hello do you? A merry Christmas? All it will do is fill your mind with hope that isn't really there. A longing that isn't ever going to be filled. His happiness is nothing. The happiness of a dog never once mattered. Haven't you heard? A dog always returns to it's vomit. If he did you wrong, he will her soon. Despite what every Dumpee thinks, it isn't all roses. They don't instantly find joy waiting them. Do some of them find it? Yup. But not always. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 we had a short relationship. SO my feelings are not strong enough and im actually not in pain from the breakup at the moment, just the first week. I also did not get to the point of being in love with him yet and same with him. SO even if we stayed friends and nothing more im ok with that. Now this sort of thing has happenend with my previous ex. on and off. Eventually i cut him out and it was the best thing. And by no means im not waiting on him coming back. were both at different point in our lives. Out of curiosity, how long was the "short" relationship you are talking about? Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Him Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I think that it's natural to want to hear from your ex, especially if you're still in love with them. It lets you know that they're thinking of you, it gives you a little bit of an ego boost knowing that you're still in their mind enough to send that text. And if you're still holding on to hope of getting back together, it feels like at least it's *SOMETHING* and they haven't just entirely moved on and forgotten about you. Still, for all of those same reasons, it's probably for the better. As I said, I don't expect my ex to text me today because we already exchanged our "Merry Christmas" in the conversation where I initiated No Contact. I know that if I'm able to hold to No Contact, I'll be foolishly waiting for something on New Years. If he doesn't message, I'll be hurt. If he does, I'll be confused. It's very lose-lose but I can't help but be honest that I WANT to hear from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Out of curiosity, how long was the "short" relationship you are talking about? that would be 2 months thats why the doors are open for me, but im also not wating, if someone else comes along im all for it Now if i felt like im waiting, and being all depressed then i would keep NC for my own sanity lol but in this case im totally fine. He seemed more into me then i was into him anways. Link to post Share on other sites
Christopher82 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 (edited) I haven't heard from ex either. I expected that to be the case and a large part of me wanted that to be the case. But there's this small piece of me that wanted her to get in touch with me. She told me the night before I broke up with her and established NC, that she needed time apart.... at least 2 weeks. Meanwhile, she was going out a lot and at strange times. She cheated on me 6 months prior and my gut was telling me that she was up to it again. I ended it because I couldn't do it anymore. She was a user, a thief and a coward. That small part of me that wants her to send me a message.... it pisses me off. I piss myself off. But regardless, I stand committed to NC for two reasons: #1.) I want to move on and be happy, #2.) I want to send a strong signal to her that, I'm not taking anymore of her sh*t, that I grew a pair and that I can stand on my own two feet w/o her. She destroyed the majority of my confidence and I've taken the stance that, as hard as it is, I stick by. All I have is my pride. Edited December 26, 2012 by Christopher82 Link to post Share on other sites
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