Toddbt12y1 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I'm telling you guys hearing from them isn't all that great. A magic potion it isn't. And it won't fix feelings. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 (edited) I'm telling you guys hearing from them isn't all that great. A magic potion it isn't. And it won't fix feelings. When my ex contacted me after breaking up with me the first time, we got back together. That's what I was hoping for, but this second time it seems final. But maybe I can judge the first break-up with hindsight. At the time, I felt like that break-up was final too and wouldn't have imagined that he'd text me, then call me 2 days later (after I ignored his texts). I hope the same thing happens again but I'm not holding my breath. The reason I feel it's final this time around is that he told me he hopes I would find someone who would give me the attention I deserve. He didn't say that last time. We also said our goodbyes this time around, and ended it amicably (because I knew there was no use trying to convince him). Last time we just stopped talking to each other in a rage. Edited December 26, 2012 by NoMoreJerks Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Him Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 When my ex contacted me after breaking up with me the first time, we got back together. That's what I was hoping for, but this second time it seems final. But maybe I can judge the first break-up with hindsight. At the time, I felt like that break-up was final too and wouldn't have imagined that he'd text me, then call me 2 days later (after I ignored his texts). I hope the same thing happens again but I'm not holding my breath. The reason I feel it's final this time around is that he told me he hopes I would find someone who would give me the attention I deserve. He didn't say that last time. We also said our goodbyes this time around, and ended it amicably (because I knew there was no use trying to convince him). Last time we just stopped talking to each other in a rage. Aw I'm in a similar situation. My ex ended it with me back in October but he wanted to keep talking every day and not change things, and he would say things about how he didn't want me to move on, etc. He ended up calling me a few days later saying that he made a mistake. This time, it feels more final because he's said several times that he's forcing himself to stick to it. And while he's given me mixed messages, he's told me to move on as well. I hope the best for your situation. I know that it absolutely sucks. I can't seem to shake the hope that he'll come back to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 When my ex contacted me after breaking up with me the first time, we got back together. That's what I was hoping for, but this second time it seems final. But maybe I can judge the first break-up with hindsight. At the time, I felt like that break-up was final too and wouldn't have imagined that he'd text me, then call me 2 days later (after I ignored his texts). I hope the same thing happens again but I'm not holding my breath. The reason I feel it's final this time around is that he told me he hopes I would find someone who would give me the attention I deserve. He didn't say that last time. We also said our goodbyes this time around, and ended it amicably (because I knew there was no use trying to convince him). Last time we just stopped talking to each other in a rage. If I where you I wouldn't want him calling or texting. You broke up twice. Doesn't seem like its gonna work. I know he tool your virginity so..you have a special connection with him. It will only add to the pain to the miss if he contacted you. And what for? Just a hey...trust me it won't be much more than a hey 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 (edited) we had a short relationship. SO my feelings are not strong enough and im actually not in pain from the breakup at the moment, just the first week. I also did not get to the point of being in love with him yet and same with him. SO even if we stayed friends and nothing more im ok with that. Now this sort of thing has happenend with my previous ex. on and off. Eventually i cut him out and it was the best thing. And by no means im not waiting on him coming back. were both at different point in our lives. Oh. Well that is different. Mine way 8 years so i really need to protect myself from any contact that could cause a death spiral lol Im 3 months into NC and feel this may take quite a while longer to become totally indifferent. Edited December 26, 2012 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I come on here so that I don't contact my ex in any way. An I read posts bout exes texting especially on this day and it seriously depresses me. I haven't heard from my ex at all. Not a word in over three weeks. Really thought I would get something today. Just to show I was at least a thought in his head. Nothing. And that hurts so much worse. So I broke down. I looked at twitter. Havent in almost two weeks. He's talking about her being his wife some day all bc they hate the same movie. Mind you they've only been together for 3 weeks maybe a month. They have out their first picture as a couple on there. And in the almost two years we were together we never took one pic together. Not one. She's there on Christmas morning. W him and his amazing family. Looking like she's been there for years. And I'm crushed. I knew this day was going to be hard but not this hard. I know all the crappy things he did to me and how I'm better off without him. It just really hurts to see that she is getting the best parts of the man I love and I'm erased from his life. Hi kristi, I empathize with you. But don't fall into that trap. Especially the trap of the bolded where you feel like someone else is getting "the best" of this person.. Just don't do it. Looks can be deceiving and he's the same person and there is no telling how things will be with them in the future. It's okay to want someone to treat you well and introduce you to their family and thin of you as their future wife, and you'll have it, with someone better suited for you who wants to give you that. But don't spend time wishing you had it with him. I hope 2013 makes your ex OLD news! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Svet74 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Oh. Well that is different. Mine way 8 years so i really need to protect myself from any contact that could cause a death spiral lol Im 3 months into NC and feel this may take quite a while longer to become totally indifferent. it could take you years to get over this one. but eventually you just learn to cope with it. My last guy we only dated 4 months but i fell in love with him hard. It took me over a year to get over him. with the recent guy i had my wall up! the feelings were there but i was very careful. If he does come back it will be wonderful! He went after me and he let me go, so there is nothing that i have to do. but move on Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 (edited) it could take you years to get over this one. but eventually you just learn to cope with it. My last guy we only dated 4 months but i fell in love with him hard. It took me over a year to get over him. with the recent guy i had my wall up! the feelings were there but i was very careful. If he does come back it will be wonderful! He went after me and he let me go, so there is nothing that i have to do. but move on This one should be easy for you. Man i hope it doesn't take years lol. Actually I've been doing pretty good until i got that email. I'm thinking 6 to 9 months with strict NC and keeping busy, having fun ecetera. But whatever. Could be longer or less i guess. Just need to live my life. Its her loss anyway Edited December 26, 2012 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I would say a good year helps. For my my last relationship took about 1 yr to heal for the most part. But after a year and a half I felt lonely and missed being in a relationship. Though now I kinda think I don't want one till I can settle my own self down and get my own goals finished. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Didn't get one and don't care either way. Means nothing either way. Not hearing from them doesn't mean they never think about you. I mean, you didn't text your ex, but you are obviously thinking about them. Why can't it be the same, or somewhat similar, in reverse? Plus, how many people send Merry Christmas texts to all of their friends? I don't. Them sending a "Merry Christmas" doesn't matter at all - it's a throwaway wish. Heck, I got a "Merry Christmas" from the dude who was working the chairlift at the ski resort I was at today and got another one from a complete stranger I was riding a chair with. It's just something you say. If the exes had said something, it'd cause a lot more drama than necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristi628 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Share Posted December 26, 2012 Play quick update. No word from ex. I got fed up and got dressed up and went downtown with friends from high school. Big mistake though. My friends knew I was upset so they took my phone. Unfortunately they got on my new twitter which I had deleted my ex on. But somehow they replied to one of his tweets. Disnt say anything but showed it was from my new twitter which you can tell it was from me. ****!!! Now I look like the crazy ex!!! And I didnt even do anything?!!! ****! I tried so hard not to break contact and now I seem like I can't get over him. Him and his new ff saw it and now I'm blocked and it wasn't even me. Friends keep saying to just forget about it. But I'm mad as hell Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Play quick update. No word from ex. I got fed up and got dressed up and went downtown with friends from high school. Big mistake though. My friends knew I was upset so they took my phone. Unfortunately they got on my new twitter which I had deleted my ex on. But somehow they replied to one of his tweets. Disnt say anything but showed it was from my new twitter which you can tell it was from me. ****!!! Now I look like the crazy ex!!! And I didnt even do anything?!!! ****! I tried so hard not to break contact and now I seem like I can't get over him. Him and his new ff saw it and now I'm blocked and it wasn't even me. Friends keep saying to just forget about it. But I'm mad as hell Wow those friends sure have your back..nooooot. Sorry that sucks. I don't even talk to my friends about my situation now. They don't understand. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Play quick update. No word from ex. I got fed up and got dressed up and went downtown with friends from high school. Big mistake though. My friends knew I was upset so they took my phone. Unfortunately they got on my new twitter which I had deleted my ex on. But somehow they replied to one of his tweets. Disnt say anything but showed it was from my new twitter which you can tell it was from me. ****!!! Now I look like the crazy ex!!! And I didnt even do anything?!!! ****! I tried so hard not to break contact and now I seem like I can't get over him. Him and his new ff saw it and now I'm blocked and it wasn't even me. Friends keep saying to just forget about it. But I'm mad as hell That's not good. Your friends have no respect for your need of NC. They didn't do the right thing, though I am sure they think they where. I found this, in my struggle: Family is the first that bears the least with you...when you undergo this struggle. Then friends. They may listen and give input, say three or so times... But it gets old. You cannot blame them...but unfortunately yours helped in the wrong way. Anyway, this is not critical damage. Just delete your twitter...or don't let your friends hold your phone. You can still do NC and just let this die down...it will. Monitor your phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Him Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I was on the first day of No Contact yesterday. I wasn't expecting to hear from my ex at all, as we had already exchanged "Merry Christmas" messages on Christmas Eve (the night I initiated no contact and told him that we could not be friends.) Then as I was settling into bed, my ex texted me saying he just wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas and hoped I had a good one and enjoyed being with my family. It feels rude to not respond, but I'm just not going to. He made his decision and stuck to it no matter how badly it hurt me, so I've made mine and I have to stick with it regardless of his feelings, as well. A part of me is happy to have gotten the text because it feels empowering that I still have some control over things. Another part of me is sad because it means that I'll hold on to hope for a little longer that he'll come around. Oh well, starting Day 2 of No Contact... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristi628 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Share Posted December 26, 2012 I know they were trying to do the right thing. They saw I was checking my phone constantly and thought they were helping. Drinkin heavily did not help. I think when they took me phone I was already on twitter. I'm guessing when they grabbed my phone they ended up pushing something. As soon as I saw it I deleted the message and the account. But my ex already saw it and immediately blocked me. I have not contacted him in any way. No texts calls or emails and now one stupid accident boosted his ego. Probably thinks I'm pathetic while he's living the dream with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Yeah....but it doesn't matter what he thinks now sweetheart. He may thin that. But what he thinks doesn't matter...it's what you think about yourself that matters. You are awesome and it's nigh time to realize that you are too amazing for what he or any of them think. You're beyond what they think. Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I know what the deal is. My ex will be with is girlfriend I am sure .....but I couldnt not say Merry Christmas as it is a fond memory for me and he and his kids are in my thoughts. I really fought it but decided "damnit, why walk on eggshells...if I have something to say, just say it"...and so I did. I haven't checked for a response and wont. It was simply in my heart to do and it made me feel good to do it because he and his family were and will always be an important experience in my life. Survived this one...now just need to get through New Years and all will be OK. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatsTheAnswer Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 I heard from ex on Christmas but it was just bread crumbs. I tried to get a text conversation going I got a couple then she was gone. No "I gotta go" etc just stops. I never understand why she does that. I guess just bread crumbs Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 You can get used to anything. I live with my ex 2.6 yrs post break. I barely even made eye contact during christmas let alone any warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Biscous Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 I got a 'Merry Christmas love' from mine. But we have been on/off NC for the past month. Her birthday is in a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
bpdr Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 What if you just send a text, describing in minimal detail WHO they are? A text that describes what a POS they were/are??? of course - no such good could come from it. But, ponder the thought....Yup! My ex deserves NOTHING remotely comforting from me. She's an emotional vampire. I suppose, I am fortunate enough to know - she is sucking the life outta' someone else' now. I Never wanna hear from her again. But, the thought of letting her know what a POS she is - is quite actually appealing.... I wouldn't ever indulge it though. Her misery is her own, and I am thankfully no longer a part of that hell. Enough said. Happy New Years LS folks! Link to post Share on other sites
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