AmeliaV Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I have been with my husband for six and a half years, married for 3 of them, He is Italian and we also live there, Im from the US. My husband is a professional motorcycle racer, His passion is racing and i have seen him in his far share of accidents and i'll never get use to it. His job requires a lot of traveling and before we married we made an agreement that i will attend with him all races and events he is involved in, Which at first i thought would be great because i could spend a lot of time with him but it is completely the opposite of that, When we are at a work party/gathering I very rarely spend anything close to half an hour with him, He is always in demand to be talked to or something. If i beg him before hand not to leave me alone he promises he wont but in a matter of minutes of getting there a shower of people are around him and its like i fade into the background. When at events i get nervous and feel uncomfortable with these people as at times i've no idea what they are talking about which results in me becoming nervous and cant stop talking, & without really realizing, getting slightly drunk to which my husband usually gets annoyed about & tells me to stop embarressing him. Its hard to explain on this but i get overwhelmed with a feeling of loneliness and feel really alone, Don't get me wrong i support him 110% but i feel that his job comes first. I haven't been to see my family in about 10 months and feel very home sick lately, They all have this idea that i have the perfect life out here but lately i feel like we don't spend anytime together unless its at races or events as he is always busy and i feel like im just an accessory. I know he loves me as he always tells me but i don't feel that 'married' feeling and its scaring me. I don't want to leave him but i want to feel that closeness again. Is there any advice/opinions you could share with me? I feel like i've lost myself Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I would suggest that you make time to spend together, just the two of you, outside of the racing events. Date each other, once a week, to rebuild the emotional connection. Call him, at least once a day, if he is away, to tell him you were thinking about him. At the racing events, allow him to be the "celebrity" that he is, and don't try to stick to him like glue. Try to socialize yourself with others at those events, and be an asset to him that he can be proud of. Don't drink a lot and embarrass him. Be someone he can be proud of at those events. I know you miss your family back home, but you chose a life with this man, and he is now your priority, so you need to make him the priority in your life and make the best of where you are living and make a home for your family (you and him). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 Racing is it's own community. There are wives, GFs, parents and you've mentioned none of that. As a career it's fairly short lived. The season is not 12 months. It's easy to lose sight of who you are individually when attached to high profile spouse. Develop an interest in the racing industry focus on charity. Is there a reason your family cannot travel to you while on the circuit? It's an exciting sport from the fan perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 My advice...share this post with your husband. Word. For. Word. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Why don't you take a trip home? Visiting family helps with homesickness. You knew your husband had this lifestyle before you married him, right? Try to immerse yourself in Italian culture. It is wondrous! Link to post Share on other sites
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