Pay back time? Yes or No?

[rogueless]

Breakup summary: I had been dating my boyfriend for about a year when we ran into his old girlfriend from many years ago. She was now married with kids. I didn't give it a second thought until she kept contacting him and leaving little notes. At the time, I wasn't worried about them getting back together because she was married and we had an excellent relationship. Well, guess what? I found out they had been spending time together and having sex. I was devastated. I told him that I thought we could work it out and that I felt it was out of character for him. I told him I just needed reassurance it would not happen again, some TLC, and for him not to be in her presence again. He apparently filled her in because she called and cursed ME out. Some nerve huh? Well, we lasted a few more weeks and I caught them together again. I told him I loved him and ended it with class. Well, flash forward almost 2 years later and here I sit typing this message out for you to read. She is divorced, they are still together and along the way he has tried to keep his foot in the door with me. I kept slamming it, lol. Politely though of course because thats the way I am. I'm a very kind person that always "does the right thing." Here's the dilemma. I loved him with my whole heart. I thought he was "the" one. Well, as you can imagine, this breakup caused me extensive pain. I want to do something bad, something out of character for me. I want her to feel the pain I felt from them cheating together. I want to visit him. I know she will FREAK OUT. I know he would take me out if only I would stop by. I know this is wrong of me to want to cause them both pain. Hers from him being with me...and his from her griping him out. lol...Well? Should I get my pay back? I want to so much. I know it is wrong, but if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

[aFighter]

It's been a while now. Don't you think it's best left done and dusted?

Ignore them and live your life is my opinion.

[rogueless]

I can't seem to get that quote out of my head, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

[dyermaker]

: Maturity is a dish best eaten before dinner.

[KaiaMahina]

Girl, first things first.

 

You may hate this woman for what she's done to you, but essentially she couldn't have done anything if he hadn't been willing. If he had been a man of integrity in love with you, she could have lain naked and spreadeagle in the hallway in front of his door and he would have turned away. She didn't betray you, he did. She is inconsequential. Treat her as such.

 

Secondly, there's an old Spanish proverb which says, "The best revenge comes from God." If you're not a "god believer" insert "fate, karma, the universe" or whatever pleases you. Because the fact of the matter is that it is indeed the best revenge.

 

Primarily because it's far more devastating than anything you could ever conceive or perpetrate. It falls on the deserving wretch like a grand piano falling out of a six story window. And it makes them the sorriest son of a b**tch who ever lived.

 

It's also the best because you are blameless. Your hands are clean. There is no karma attached to it for you. They simply got what was coming to them. And as our George W. is fond of saying, "make no mistake about it," what goes around, comes around. Oh, it may take a little longer. But it's like a credit card bill: the longer you take to pay it, the bigger the interest.

 

Live your life and let them go. Everything will be taken care of. I know, because I've experienced it first hand. I didn't have the heart to avenge myself against this particular person, and eventually didn't feel the need to. But that doesn't stop the workings of the universe. He's now quite an unhappy person, and I'm actually sorry for him, but he brought it on himself.

 

You've lost enough real time to this man, don't lose any more devising plots and brooding on your injuries. Leave them in the rear view mirror.

[Papillon]

I'm with dyer 100% - seeking revenge is pathetic and immature, and only paints you as a neurotic person who cannot get on with life.

 

Now get on with it and get on with life.

[EC]

I agree. Don't waste your time.

 

Prediction:

 

You go over there...he takes you out...She gets made....She loves him forgives him....They stay together adn you went through all of that for nothing.

 

What goes around comes around.

 

Forget about it and let life take place. Move on.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I agree with the others, Rogueless. Karma's already exacting its revenge. "Regret" is just the beginning, and I'd be willing to wager there's a whole lot more of it coming their way.

 

Romeo made a bad bet, and now he wants out. He's hoping for a lifeline and looking to you to toss him one.

 

CUT IT. (karma stage two)

 

I want her to feel the pain I felt from them cheating together.

 

Perhaps she will. When he does the same thing to her that he's done to you…he's already started. (karma stage three)

 

Ironically, I doubt she'll be nearly as understanding or forgiving as you were. She's given up a lot more than he did (her marriage and family) to be with him. She's most likely convinced herself already that she is somehow "special" because he chose her over you. She's already fooled herself into believing, "he'd never do that to me." And vice/versa.

 

Nope. You need not even involve yourself in this one or hurry things along. You've got two dishonest people in a dishonest relationship. That only spells one thing…

 

Let life take its own sweet time and teach its own hard lessons. As KaiaMahina wrote:

 

Primarily because it's far more devastating than anything you could ever conceive or perpetrate…It's also the best because you are blameless. Your hands are clean…

 

The lady speaks the truth!

 

Indifference, not spite, is your best revenge.

[jmargel]

You are already giving him the best revenge but continuing your life. Ignoring him & his calls are the best way. Best way to teach a dog not to bite you, is when first bitten ignore the dog completely after reprimand. Keep treating him like the dog he is.

[rogueless]

I appreciate all your advice. Sometimes its so haaard to do the right thing. The poster is right, God's "retaliation" is much more creative than mine could ever be. I want to be bad. lol...I just can't be. Thanks for listening to me vent.

[loverevenge04]

I say, as long as you are not going out of your way, try to be friends with him and driver her crazy. She deserves it. True, it was his choice, too BUT who is she to yell at you for not wanting him to see her. F her. If that doesn't bother her here are 2 other suggestions. Not really revenge but lots of fun!!

 

- put dog **** underneath the door handle of her car.

- Mail a giant box to her place of unployemtn with stickers all over it that says "Your vaginal tightening kit is enclosed. Also enclosed a FREE sample of Stink-be-Gone!"

 

Enjoy

[chieftin]

you should totally go over to her house. bring underwear that he would wear and tell her that he left them recently at your place and that the sex was great. also you should put a banana in her tailpipe. have you considered highering a local gang member to beat her up a bit? this can also be kinda cool. let me know how things turn out. hell you might even make it onto cops

[savethedrama4allama]

I know it's tempting. Stay away, keep your dignity.

 

Don't let her know that she got to you. That is the BEST revenge possible. If you come around she will think that you want the guy back; that will make her feel like the winner of a prize when really she's just stuck with the rubbish.

 

By staying away you are letting them both know that you don't want him and you couldn't care less! As they say, karma's a b*tch. Let Karma handle this one!