He still loves me. I was wrong.

[kyndrad77]

My ex broke up with me about a month and a half ago. This break-up caused me to have to move from California to Utah. He really broke my heart. I tried talking to him the entire first month (once a week) after I was here and he was cold. I got nop admission of feelings from him. He just kept saying he wanted to get over me. You can get the whole story here : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t44929/

Well... I went back to Ca this last weekend for dealings with my custody case, and to see my kids for the first time in a month.

I had to meet up with him to exchange belongings. We ended up having one beer, and then onother, and so on, until I felt like I couldn't drive. It was like the only way I could handle facing him was to blur my vision. He did the same thing.

We went for a couple of walks and talked about stuff we'd been doind since the break up etc. Never did he touch me. We were miles apart it seemed. I'd catch him staring at me, but tried to act like I hadn't. He smacked me in the butt a couple of times and tickled my feet once, but that was it.

He used to have me on his screensaver. Now he has a picture I asked him to take of something beautiful I saw on the way out to Utah (moving).

He switch gum brands to my favorite.

He kept and is watering a bamboo that I gave him a long time ago. He never so much as gave it a thought. Now it is growing like crazy.

He put all of my letters, ticket stubs, everything that represented things we did in his night stand drawer, and they were arranged a sthough he had been reading th letters. The oldest one was first, the oldest one where I told him that I would love him forever. He had sprayed my perfume on it.

I looked for the ring I gave him to wear (which I would always get a little urt if he forgot to put it on) he used to be so paranoid about losing it because he knew it would bother me. I figured he would have stopped wearing it by now. Nope. He is still wearing it. He took it off to wash his hands (while I was there) and then put it back on.

Anyway, the awkwardness continued through the evening.

Sooner or later the issue came up of where I was going to stay. I had originally planned to stay in my car, which is big enough to be comfortable, but I couldn't stay in my car in his apartment parking. He insisted that I couldn't drive.

He hinted around to me staying there with him but would never come out and say it. I went to the restroom to take a shower after a hot day, and noticed that he had pulled back 'my' side of the covers. But he wouldn't come out and say "stay here with me". Eventually I started to fall asleep on the couch. He came in and gave me a bnlanket, turned off the light and asked me if I was going to sleep "out here" (living room). Just then I didn't want to sleep there. I went in to him and told him I was going to go sleep in my car, he insisted 'Where? You can't drive) I looked ta his bed and remembered how I used to sleep there everynight. I suddenly asked him if I could sleep in bed. I said I was sorry to impose but I didn't want to sleep on the couch. He said it was okay, that yes I could sleep there, and that he wasn't upset at all.

I laid down, all the way on the edge, and turned my back to him. He said no, really I am not upset. To tell you the truth... He stopped there. We fell asleep with touching eachother.

The next morning, I woke up and got into the shower. It was 9:00 am and I had to be an hour away by noon.

I got out of the shower he was still in bed. I asked if wanted to go to breakfast. He said no, which kind of surprised me.

To make the story somewhat shorter than it really is... he started a bed fight. He kicked me off a few times and pillow fighting. One thing led to another. Suddenly he's holding me and saying he has been fantasizing about me everyday, fantasizing...

I said nothing.

He, then, went on to completely worship me (sexually). I did nothing. I just laid there in shock. I was shaking terribly. He didn't once ask me to do anything. He kissed every inch of my body and touched me like he was blind man trying to 'see'. He never did that before. He never behaved like that before. He was acting like a starving person with food for the first time in weeks. He kept saying," everyday... I have dreamed about this".

After it was over, he says that he was sorry. He said that he can't stop himself with me. He said in the furture we'll have to meet in a public place so that he has to control himself. He is still trying to get reinstated... If you don't get this, read the previous post.

Then he cried.

I realized that despite his actions and words, he is as inlove with me as ever. I am realizing that he may have grown an infatuation, an appetite. I wonder if it will go away now that he was able to fulfill his fantasy, or if that will just make him want me more. I decided to leave him alone now. I won't call him or anything. I will see what he does. What do you guys think.

[honey2005]

I think your story makes me sad because it's so sweet and so painful at the same time. I am so sorry you're going through this. I don't know what to say, I think what you're doing is your best bet, waiting to see what he's going to do. Next time you're with him I would recommend staying in a hotel or something if things are still the same between you. He's had his fantasy, see where he heads now.