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Am I wrong to have not visited my grandma during the holidays.?


MissSantana99

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MissSantana99

My grandma, who is my dad's mother, have had a poor relationship throughout my life. She treats my dad like crap and never calls him, visit him, nor send him card on his birthday. On top of this, she plays favorites with her other grandchildren and never calls me. The thing is she is so wrapped up in her religion that she uses it to criticize me. She has done nothing but mean to my family and yet my parents still want me to maintain a relationship with her.

 

My mom, who says she can't stand my grandma, said she wasn't inviting her over to our house for Christmas because she pissed us all off by imposing her religion upon us. She was also mad that my grandma didn't call my dad on his birthday. So I didn't see her at all for Christmas this year. I didn't get to go to her house because I was busy. My mom calls me and made me call her and thank her for her gift and then gets on my case for not visiting her. I cried after hanging up because she made me feel terrible. So am I wrong?

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MissSantana99

Thank you. The thing is, my dad has done a lot for my grandma, such as given her money when she has needed it and built various things for her, yet she still fails to call/visit him for his birthday or call him any other time. She never calls me either and she has my phone number that I have given her. She has been really hurtful to me and I want to sever our relationship, but my parents want me to continue it and pretend that she never hurt me.

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Well in that case (forgive the bluntness) tell your parents where they can stick their advice.

You're grown up and can make your own decisions. What's more, you're perfectly entitled to, and they have no right to impose their wishes on you.

Let them cultivate the relationship with her, that they want.

 

If you dad wants to keep doing stuff for her, but getting nothing in return but rudeness and abuse - sorry to say, that's his problem and little bag to carry!

 

You are under no such obligation.

 

Cut it all off and have nothing to do with her.

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MissSantana99

Yeah. I did however call her to apologize. I still feel like I have an obligation to be a decent granddaughter to her. I am struggling to let go of hurtful people and I'm currently attending therapy for this reason.

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