Broke NC after one day. Pathetic.

[Adamgem]

I am struggling with NC. I think I am not at all ready. I wonder what must happen before I can go NC? Must I really suffer?

 

I have never spent so much time with another human in my life nor have I ever enjoyed anybody like this. It is very confusing to see someone you love do bad things....

 

I know it is wrong but I can't seem to let go. I do not know how to make myself get into the right frame of mind again.

[BrokenPrincess]

What happened?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Why do you "enjoy" someone who does bad things - particularly "bad things" to YOU? Are you addicted to drama and suffering? If you are, then I guess you're in the right situation for yourself. You appear to be living your life as you choose. I still wonder why you keep posting about it here, though.

[ThatJustHappened]

Why do you "enjoy" someone who does bad things - particularly "bad things" to YOU? Are you addicted to drama and suffering? If you are, then I guess you're in the right situation for yourself. You appear to be living your life as you choose. I still wonder why you keep posting about it here, though.

 

For attention. That's what dramaddicts need isn't it?

 

I'm totally copyrighting that word by the way..

[wisernow]

I am struggling with NC. I think I am not at all ready. I wonder what must happen before I can go NC? Must I really suffer?

 

I have never spent so much time with another human in my life nor have I ever enjoyed anybody like this. It is very confusing to see someone you love do bad things....

 

I know it is wrong but I can't seem to let go. I do not know how to make myself get into the right frame of mind again.

 

Adamgem,

 

I have really tried to keep up and understand your story, but can't for the life of me get it.

 

I thought you'd moved to another country, ended all contact, and the only person who had your number was xmm's ex-w?

 

Are you today telling us that you have broken NC and contacted xmm?

 

1. Haven't you suffered enough?

2. Haven't you wasted enough time on this gem of a man?

3. What is your payoff for all the drama?

[whichwayisup]

You're gonna have to get hurt a hell of a lot more and go through more turmoil then before you reach your enough is enough stage.

 

You're only hurting yourself.

 

I think you're afraid of feeling pain, withdrawal that you are going through now and reaching out to him may make you feel better in the heat of the moment but it's going to do a lot more damage to you in the long run.

 

You also are sending him mixed messages and that gives him total power over you.

[april38]

I have broken NC in the past, several times, but this last time I have been more successful, and I think what helped was an exersize I completed when I began. In Word I wrote down the following questions:

 

Why am I afraid to go no contact?

What were you getting out of the relationship?

What negative do you experience from his behavior?

Why have you been putting so much into the relationship?

Why are you afraid to let go of him?

What positive will I get if I maintain a friendship or hybridthereof of a relationship with him?

What positive will come from this?

Should I say goodbye, or just disappear?

What will life be like without him?

 

 

I answered each question honestly with both positive and negative responses, then finished with the following paragraph:

 

I can do this. In summation, I’m scared, and I always saidfind your fear and face it. Well now it’s time to bring those words to life.This is a true and obvious test that I am well set up for, and well on my way.I just need to make the commitment and do it. It’s not just a commitment to stayingaway from facebook for 60 days, it’s a commitment to myself, my future and isan act of love for me. At the end of the 60 days, I will be stronger than Ithought I could be, I will have blossomed into a better woman, and will beready to face my fears….and accept the truth. I have to do this. If not I willhave failed myself.

 

I then read it, reread it, added to it, and started a separate journal, now Im on this website and it's helping too. Its like you're being your own personal therapist.

Good luck!!