my situation

[Bryanp]

You need to write a letter to your husband describing the timeline with the OM. I suggest that he probably did not believe you because of the way you told him. If your marriage will ever get on track then you both need to face this head on together.

 

By the way have both of you been checked for STD's?. I wish you luck.

[vixee]

In my very first post I requested that people not say mean things to me. Some of you are very insensitive. I know what I did was selfish but sometimes I feel that some posters don't understand my point of view and are plain frustrated!

 

Anyways, the situation is, I am trying to get over OM, I have no plans to have sex with him and not even fantasizing about doing it! He keeps texting me once in 2-3 days. I have blocked his number once, he is using another one but the way it is going I am sure he will give up. I don't want to tell OM's W, for many many reasons we have common friends and I don't want them to know through her!

 

I am happy to tell her later on anonymously if stopping this OM is in question?? And I am thinking I will tell H as well anonymously then he will question me and then I will tell him, I told you so! And this way they both will know.

 

I hope I don't get told off this time by all of you. I am so exhausted and its not even exciting/love/passion anymore!!!

Edited January 14, 2013 by vixee

[turnera]

vixee, I get that you only want to be told nice, happy stuff. But the truth is that you have done some bad things. You can't just pretend you haven't, and expect things to go your way. You don't seem to approach this whole situation with any level of awareness of just how much you have (or will) hurt people. Instead, you focus only on how good you feel at the moment, or whether your lover really wants you, or whatever.

 

You can continue on in this childlike state of naivety, but eventually these things WILL catch up with you. Wouldn't you prefer to start thinking on this now, so as to be prepared? Start asking yourself harder questions like how did I end up in this position, instead of things like does he want her to wear the same dress?

 

I guess I just don't understand what you're hoping to achieve. I have no frustrations to take out on you. I have no stake in this game. My 'not being nice' isn't done to please ME - it's done to try to help you achieve a higher level of awareness of your own situation - for YOUR sake. So you can do some heavy thinking about what got you here in the first place.

[turnera]

What, exactly, IS your point of view?

[BetrayedH]

In my very first post I requested that people not say mean things to me. Some of you are very insensitive. I know what I did was selfish but sometimes I feel that some posters don't understand my point of view and are plain frustrated!

 

Anyways, the situation is, I am trying to get over OM, I have no plans to have sex with him and not even fantasizing about doing it! He keeps texting me once in 2-3 days. I have blocked his number once, he is using another one but the way it is going I am sure he will give up. I don't want to tell OM's W, for many many reasons we have common friends and I don't want them to know through her!

 

I am happy to tell her later on anonymously if stopping this OM is in question?? And I am thinking I will tell H as well anonymously then he will question me and then I will tell him, I told you so! And this way they both will know.

 

I hope I don't get told off this time by all of you. I am so exhausted and its not even exciting/love/passion anymore!!!

 

I have zero interest in beating you up and I am glad you ended this affair.

 

But I also find it relevant that your next two actions should be focused upon rebuilding your M with your H (which begins with honesty) and doing the right thing by the BW (which begins with honesty).

 

As for the dress, he probably (in a typical sick and demented fashion from deep in the rabbit hole) enjoys thinking of you while watching his wife parade around in that dress. He probably enjoys peeling it off of her for sex and thinking of you while doing it. My wife enjoyed writing about cuckolding me on the internet. People are sick and ****ed up.

 

As the other posters have pointed out, you should be focused elsewhere. You've made some mistakes. Make up for them. Have a serious sit-down with your H to address your M and give the BW a chance to make an informed decision about her life. Trying to understand a perverted OM is a big distraction from those things.

[Saba]

... And I am thinking I will tell H as well anonymously then he will question me and then I will tell him, I told you so!

 

 

Really? No remorse. Its a classy plan.