Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 The thing is, he's giving me information about his whereabouts, assuming I even want to know. I don't fcking want to know where the f*ck n the world he is right now. I don't give a sh*t , but he thinks he's so important --- the center of the universe -- that I *should* be interested, etc... He can't bear the thought that I am not interested, so he's shoving that information down my throat. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Have you considered blocking his number? It seems quite obvious him contacting you is affecting you, and it would likely be benefical if he wasn't able to do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 Have you considered blocking his number? It seems quite obvious him contacting you is affecting you, and it would likely be benefical if he wasn't able to do that. It doesn't really bother me all that much, to be honest.. I meant that I don't give a sh*t as to his whereabouts, but he's somehow assuming that I do.... talk about self-centred. I find it rather amusing, and I don't want to block him for that reason. I'd like to know what he sends me next, if anything. I think I deserve to have some fun with this, after all he did to me. I'm not gonna reply -- I'm just curious what he's trying to do and what his next step is, if any. I want to see how his narcissistic brain functions. The only thing I felt after receiving his text ? Not happiness/relief, nor hope... just surprise (I had assumed he'd have deleted my number, but apparently not, after all I am a member of his harem now).. and kinda feel bad for him/guilty for not responding, but only because he is such a miserable/lonely person, and I hate seeing anyone, even the person who has hurt me, in that situation. I feel sorry for him, that he threw away all that, that he can't have a proper relationship with anyone. It must suck to be him. But at the end of the day, I should be my priority.... I need to stop my caretaker personality from kicking in. I cannot help him/fix him/save him. It's not my problem. It's his. But that's the hardest part about getting this text, oddly enough. I have no wish to get back together with him. 100% honest about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Stoic44 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Why do you care? He broke up with you *twice* Who cares if he uses the app or not? You shouldn't be holding onto cyber remnants of his toxic presence in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 Why do you care? He broke up with you *twice* Who cares if he uses the app or not? You shouldn't be holding onto cyber remnants of his toxic presence in your life. The initial question / post in this thread is no longer relevant. I just used this thread to post updates on my ex.. I didn't want to start another thread for it. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 The initial question / post in this thread is no longer relevant. I just used this thread to post updates on my ex.. I didn't want to start another thread for it. I guess he's just proven he isn't worth it. I'm glad though that you DID give him a chance. At least now later in life when he regrets it one day he will know you gave him another chance and he ****ed it up. I wish my ex would've given me another chance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 I guess he's just proven he isn't worth it. I'm glad though that you DID give him a chance. At least now later in life when he regrets it one day he will know you gave him another chance and he ****ed it up. I wish my ex would've given me another chance. I gave him more than one chance. He broke up with me twice and I gave him a chance after the first break-up, but he also made threats to break up with me MANY MANY times, and sent me emails to that effect several times. I should've kicked him to the curb a LONG time ago, the first time he threatened that, and never have taken him back. Some people just don't learn until it's too late (or NEVER). Ah well, his loss. He has disrespected me SO MUCH that I don't want to be with him anymore. NEVER. EVER. Even if I had wanted to, I still would force myself not to , because if I do, I will have no dignity whatsoever. Also, the fact that he has treated a woman like this, while talking about chivalry, has turned me off him so much... It's such a turn-off when a man can't be decent enough to treat a woman with respect. Fine, I get it, if you are not interested, just tell me so and I will accept it and move on, but don't play mind games with me, don't use me and discard me, don't tell me how it was all my fault, don't tell me mean things about how I'm moody, needy, selfish, etc. That's just retarded, immature, and downright nasty. Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 You probably like the feeling of ignoring his attempts to contact you. I felt the same way. Eventually the contents of the texts started saying things that just messed with my head. "I miss you" "I want to talk to you" "We need to talk" I couldn't handle it anymore. The texts just messed with my head so much. I kept thinking she wanted me back when I really had no idea what her intentions were, and I kept ignoring them so I never found out. For my own sanity, I needed to block her number. If you can handle the texts, then you shouldn't need to block his number. Just be careful, eventually the texts may be saying other things that aren't about his vacation or whatever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 (edited) You probably like the feeling of ignoring his attempts to contact you. I felt the same way. Eventually the contents of the texts started saying things that just messed with my head. "I miss you" "I want to talk to you" "We need to talk" I couldn't handle it anymore. The texts just messed with my head so much. I kept thinking she wanted me back when I really had no idea what her intentions were, and I kept ignoring them so I never found out. For my own sanity, I needed to block her number. If you can handle the texts, then you shouldn't need to block his number. Just be careful, eventually the texts may be saying other things that aren't about his vacation or whatever. lol. If he sends such a text (not sure he will, but I never thought he'd text me again, EVER, so , who knows!), i will just laugh at it. At this point, after 2 break-ups , both of which were initiated by him, and him telling me that he doesn't love me, that he never loved me, that the only reason he had been calling me every day while in Turkey for his job, was that he was lonely and usually feels worse when away from home--- nope, ain't buying his "I miss you" lines... sure, he might miss me... miss talking to me.. because I was his emotional crutch and his punching bag. He might miss me for that, but I ain't volunteering to be his punching bag again. He can go find himself a punching from the rest of his narcissistic harem (most of whom are Thai prostitutes). I am a softie, a very caring and loving person, often very naive, especially when it comes to love/feeling guilty about ignoring people, but it doesn't mean I don't have boundaries. He had constantly overstretched mine, but I still have some boundaries, and he ought to have realized that once he crosses those very very stretchy boundaries, there just is no going back... Out of curiosity, when she said "we need to talk", did she ever call you?? Edited January 15, 2013 by NoMoreJerks Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 You probably like the feeling of ignoring his attempts to contact you. I felt the same way. Eventually the contents of the texts started saying things that just messed with my head. "I miss you" "I want to talk to you" "We need to talk" I couldn't handle it anymore. The texts just messed with my head so much. I kept thinking she wanted me back when I really had no idea what her intentions were, and I kept ignoring them so I never found out. For my own sanity, I needed to block her number. If you can handle the texts, then you shouldn't need to block his number. Just be careful, eventually the texts may be saying other things that aren't about his vacation or whatever. Lucky for you all.. I wish my ex would send me something even one text. Sure it would be a mind ****, but at least I would know she put in the time to text me or contact me. Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 She called a few times, all of which I missed. Like I was busy doing something and checked my phone later and noticed I had a missed call from her. No voice mail or anything. Sure it drives me insane that I'll never know what she wanted to talk to me about, but she kept saying "we" need to talk about something. I have no idea what WE needed to talk about if I had no idea what she wanted. If it was that important, I'm sure she'd leave a message or tell me what it was. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I gave him more than one chance. He broke up with me twice and I gave him a chance after the first break-up, but he also made threats to break up with me MANY MANY times, and sent me emails to that effect several times. Are you, perchance, addicted to drama? I ask because in ALL your earlier threads and posts about this guy, you made him out to be a villainous character - porn addict, prostitute user, three-way insister, on and on. And to top it off, long distance and rarely in your presence. I don't recall ONE positive thing. Except that he was your first sexual experience, which I do agree counts for a lot. After sharing all of that grossness with you, he dumps you … and you give him more "chances"? Chances for WHAT? I've told you before, this was NOT a real "boyfriend" and I really, really think you need to move on, mentally and emotionally, from whatever this sick mess fulfilled in you so you will be open to a relationship soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 She called a few times, all of which I missed. Like I was busy doing something and checked my phone later and noticed I had a missed call from her. No voice mail or anything. Sure it drives me insane that I'll never know what she wanted to talk to me about, but she kept saying "we" need to talk about something. I have no idea what WE needed to talk about if I had no idea what she wanted. If it was that important, I'm sure she'd leave a message or tell me what it was. Right? I don't know -- can't really tell for sure, but yeah, it makes sense that if she really was dying to get back with you, she would've gone to the ends of the world to make sure that you knew that's why she was contacting you... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Lucky for you all.. I wish my ex would send me something even one text. Sure it would be a mind ****, but at least I would know she put in the time to text me or contact me. It would only be to make sure she can still yank your chain and get you to notice her. Nothing for your benefit. She called a few times, all of which I missed. Like I was busy doing something and checked my phone later and noticed I had a missed call from her. No voice mail or anything. Sure it drives me insane that I'll never know what she wanted to talk to me about, but she kept saying "we" need to talk about something. I have no idea what WE needed to talk about if I had no idea what she wanted. If it was that important, I'm sure she'd leave a message or tell me what it was. Right? If it was important, she'd be on your doorstep, telling you it was important. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 Lucky for you all.. I wish my ex would send me something even one text. Sure it would be a mind ****, but at least I would know she put in the time to text me or contact me. That doesn't really mean a whole lot, to be honest.. sure, she would be spending time to text you, but a text doesn't take more than 5 seconds to compose, and another 5 seconds to think about you and decide she was going to text you. Texting/not texting is not an indicator of how much they are thinking of you. If they are sending breadcrumbs, they are thinking more about themselves than you..... you're just the means to an end : them wanting to feel better about themselves. If anything, breadcrumbs only show that you are not that important to them. The fact that she is not texting does not necessarily mean you never cross her mind (it depends on the circumstances, and the person, I suppose, but most likely, she does think about you and the times you spent together, from time to time, even if she does not want to get back together).. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I don't know -- can't really tell for sure, but yeah, it makes sense that if she really was dying to get back with you, she would've gone to the ends of the world to make sure that you knew that's why she was contacting you... You're right. I'm not psychic, so if she thinks that I'm supposed to just know her intentions. I don't. Just like all of that stuff I was doing "wrong" but having her tell me everything is right and that she loves me and we are getting married and all of that bull. I thought I knew this girl until I found out that I didn't. I guess I'm still hoping for her to come crying back to me. Even if I don't take her back. Just to know that she apologizes and feels guilty and wants me would be enough for me and my ego. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 That doesn't really mean a whole lot, to be honest.. sure, she would be spending time to text you, but a text doesn't take more than 5 seconds to compose, and another 5 seconds to think about you and decide she was going to text you. Texting/not texting is not an indicator of how much they are thinking of you. If they are sending breadcrumbs, they are thinking more about themselves than you..... you're just the means to an end : them wanting to feel better about themselves. If anything, breadcrumbs only show that you are not that important to them. The fact that she is not texting does not necessarily mean you never cross her mind (it depends on the circumstances, and the person, I suppose, but most likely, she does think about you and the times you spent together, from time to time, even if she does not want to get back together).. Pretty much this. Just texting someone doesn't mean much. Her texting me didn't show me anything. I don't even buy that she misses me. I buy that she was bored. Needed someone to talk to. and figured I'm not very busy so I can talk. I was always available during the relationship. Why wouldn't I always be available now? Well here's the thing. I'm not available to you! A text from her that said something like "I'm sorry. I messed up. I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be etc etc" would show me a lot more. Even if she didn't asking for me back. Not her though. She's right in her world all the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 That doesn't really mean a whole lot, to be honest.. sure, she would be spending time to text you, but a text doesn't take more than 5 seconds to compose, and another 5 seconds to think about you and decide she was going to text you. Texting/not texting is not an indicator of how much they are thinking of you. If they are sending breadcrumbs, they are thinking more about themselves than you..... you're just the means to an end : them wanting to feel better about themselves. If anything, breadcrumbs only show that you are not that important to them. The fact that she is not texting does not necessarily mean you never cross her mind (it depends on the circumstances, and the person, I suppose, but most likely, she does think about you and the times you spent together, from time to time, even if she does not want to get back together).. guess that's true too. well it is what it is I suppose..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 I totally understand the desire to get a text, though.. no matter what the contents.. it can provide a good ego boost... even if you're never gonna bother to respond. But if you already have a hard time maintaining NC (I don't), it might not be something to wish for... Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I totally understand the desire to get a text, though.. no matter what the contents.. it can provide a good ego boost... even if you're never gonna bother to respond. But if you already have a hard time maintaining NC (I don't), it might not be something to wish for... Well if it would do anything for me.. I'd think it would motivate me even more to get over them and go even stronger on NC. Just to know they are suffering like I suffered Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Well if it would do anything for me.. I'd think it would motivate me even more to get over them and go even stronger on NC. Just to know they are suffering like I suffered I don't know what it'd motivate me to do. It's pure mindf*ckery to be honest.. I should delete the text he sent. I keep looking at it a few times a day... It makes me feel better when I read it, because it makes me feel like there is something of a regret in his tone, and an attempt at opening a door to getting back together. Needless to say, the door will remain closed in his face, and while I do feel bad for him, I kinda feel good at the same time, because he deserves to suffer (assuming he is actually regretting it). BUT , and this is a huge but, I'm starting to get worried that if I do keep the text, it will f*ck with my head and I will have a weak moment when looking at it, and will respond -- mostly out of pity for him, not as an attempt to get him back. It's pure evil, almost like toxic waste. I need to force myself to delete this . Edited January 16, 2013 by NoMoreJerks Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) You know -- it's times like these that the fact that you did not delete the break-up text mssges, comes in handy. I just read through all the text mssges we sent back and forth, when he decided to break up with me. It reminded me that 1) he does not want me , he had no feelings for me (his words), and unlikely that he developed feelings for me after the break-up ; 2) he was a d*ck and downright nasty, and hurt me like hell, not just by the break-up, but by the things he accused me of and all the projection he did during the break-up.. 3) there is no way I will take him back, and I don't want him as a friend because of the way he treated me, so what is the point of having a conversation with someone who is neither a friend nor a bf? I would've had more respect for him if he had left me alone, and given me space, rather than initiating contact.. this only shows that he is selfish and will never change. I mean, surely he realizes that 3 weeks is not enough for someone to get over someone they loved??? Also, I ended it on a good note (even though he said so many mean things to me / blamed me, etc.), and did not contact him both because I didn't want to (for the sake of moving on), but also because I knew he did not want me to bother him -- in the days leading up to the break-up, he was showing irritation at the fact that my texts reminded him that I even existed.... I mean, after the break-up, I gave him what he asked for, right? He wanted me to leave him alone, because I was "stressing him out"... even if I did it for my own reasons as well. At least I wasn't selfish enough to stalk him and try to force my love on him. But nope, he wasn't even the bigger person and had to mssg me and remind me that he was still alive, tell me about his whereabouts (why???), ask me how things are.... how things are? Seriously? How do YOU THINK things are, d*ckbag?! Oh yeah, he's now acting like nothing happened, like I just had some sort of meltdown on my own, so he's just checking up on me and telling me he hopes I'm ok. Like he had nothing whatsoever to do with this. WTF. I'm about to smash a wall here. Edited January 16, 2013 by NoMoreJerks Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Well... extending the living room would let more light in, I guess..... so that would be a bonus.... Will you be wanting a sledgehammer, or will your fists do...? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mantha03 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I would say stop hurting yourself by trying to look for him or keeping his information around. The only way you will be able to get over is to not look back. I used to look at my exes FB profile and what not and see other girls and it would just tear the wound right open again and I would have to start all over getting over it. It took me 2 years. Do yourself a favor and don't give him the time of day because he hasn't given you the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoMoreJerks Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Well... extending the living room would let more light in, I guess..... so that would be a bonus.... Will you be wanting a sledgehammer, or will your fists do...? Trust me, the fists will do, considering how pissed off I am right now... Link to post Share on other sites
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