bless3d Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 Hello all! Okay, little background story. I met this guy at work in the beginning of december, and we hit it off. We've been texting for a bit, and he lives close by. We went out on a date two weeks ago, and he's surprised me at my house twice. Very nice guy, gentleman, etc. The other day, he was being quiet. I don't know him all that well yet, but i know when something feels off. So I called him out on it, and he said that he thinks I'm still hung up on the past. The thing is, I'm not. I told him about when my ex contacted me for my birthday and that spewed this whole debate. I asked him if he would rather I not be honest, and he said no. He's been weird, and said he wants to be friends for now, then said he wants to take it slow. I'm so confused. Is there anything I can do to show him my past is just that? I told him there was a reason why they're my exes, and he said he knows, but he wants me to figure out what I want. I know what I want. I've been burned by my rebound, so I'm extra cautious, but I believe with him I can have a happy relationship, and I don't get that vibe too often. I haven't been texting him too much, but he texted me this morning saying "I think I saw you walk past." and I said I probably did, and he should've said hi. He said he did but I ignored him. (I was zoned out, lol.) He's been starting to get sweeter today, but fell off the earth again tonight, so I haven't texted him. I'm giving him space, but I don't know why my past bothers him so much. I know his ex didn't trust him. (they dated for 3 and a half years, as did my ex and I.) Should I move on, or keep trying? I like him a lot, and I can sense he's very genuine with me. For the record, I'm 22, and he's 26. Link to post Share on other sites
coffeebean201 Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 Sounds like he likes you. But is a little caught up in your past, his past, etc. Is he seeing anyone else? Sounds like he wants a "drop by anytime and get to really know you" relationship. I'm only guessing, from the few details you described... Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 any mention of an ex early on is a real turn-off. If I was on an early date with a guy and he talked about how his ex contacted him on his bday, I would wonder why he is telling me that, why is it even worth mentioning, is he not over her? so, how did your ex contacting you even come up? How much did you talk about it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 any mention of an ex early on is a real turn-off. If I was on an early date with a guy and he talked about how his ex contacted him on his bday, I would wonder why he is telling me that, why is it even worth mentioning, is he not over her? so, how did your ex contacting you even come up? How much did you talk about it? ^^^^^^^ This!!!!!! A similar ordeal brought me here. Are you saying things like "yeah, I'm still good friends with my ex blah blah blah?" If you are, and you like this guy, you might want to cool it with the ex stuff a bit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bless3d Posted December 30, 2012 Author Share Posted December 30, 2012 We were just chatting about how our Christmas was etc. (I went home for Christmas and spent it at my friends, his family was over, etc.) How do I show him that I only care about making it work with him? he's not seeing anyone else as far as I know. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 We were just chatting about how our Christmas was etc. (I went home for Christmas and spent it at my friends, his family was over, etc.) How do I show him that I only care about making it work with him? he's not seeing anyone else as far as I know. repeat what you told him....talking about an ex on a date is etiquette mutilation, with any guy you are interested in and not dating yet even, you only talk about exes when asked.....and then honesty an explanation as quick as possible and deal with other questions that come up with quickly....you say i would rather not talk about it anymore if thats ok and then steer the conversation away from the exes and onto him or your current situation..when you are dating i think a mutual ex discussion should be had...just one....and then the dates shoudl eb abotu you and him getting to explore each others thoughts and dreams not past relationships...leave that suitcase at home...and only talk about i twhen necessary.....absolute necessity and always be honest.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author bless3d Posted December 30, 2012 Author Share Posted December 30, 2012 wasn't on a date…we were just hanging out at my place…we discussed exs before, i don't believe in hiding anything. sorry if i sound short, its 6am and I'm trying to fall back asleep…not working. Link to post Share on other sites
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