He cheated on me before...am I acting normal, or overparanoid?

[babybear]

I've been with my bf for 2 yrs. He cheated on me a year ago, we broke up, eventually got back together, and have been working it out. But, sometimes when we're out at a bar or a club or whatever, and he's talking to a girl (even if it's only to ask her for directions or where the bathroom is) it just stirs up feelings in me! I guess you could say the trust has not been rebuilt. Anyway, the other day I was joking around with him, and I said something along the lines of how I was the most perfect gf ever, and what would he ever do without me. I was just teasing...and he got a little offended I guess, and he goes, this is what I would do. And he pulls out a piece of paper with a girl's ### on it! He had gone out the nite before and I stayed home and hung out with other friends. Anyway, then I got totally pissed off that he was even making jokes like that, because it was WAY outta line. He tells me he was just joking, actually it was the number of a friend of a friend, and that she gave it to him to give to their mutual friend so that he could call her. But he kept it to set up his best friend with her. His best frined recently broke up with his gf. So he tells me it's nothing, don't worry. His b-day is coming up this weekend, so I borrowed his cell phone for the day, and was getting some numbers out to invite them to dinner for him. Lo and behold, I see HER number in there! So I email him, and I'm like, is there a good reason you have so and so's ## in your phone? And he tells me not to spy on him! OKay...so, am i being overparanoid here? Is there a good reason he has her number in there? I'm totally confused....

 

babybear

[krbshappy71]

Eh, he did it once, which is why you are worried. Its not like you don't have reason to doubt him, my friend. Trust is the main ingrediant in relationships, dear, if you don't have that, this is only the beginning to your insanity. Personally I wouldn't have gone back but that's just me. Try to talk to him rationally, face to face, about why you have concerns and what would help you overcome your worries, but if his reaction is defensive and jerk-like I'd suggest you move on.

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by babybear

Anyway, then I got totally pissed off that he was even making jokes like that

 

 

Maybe he was pissed off that you were making jokes like that too. He may or may not be cheating, but you can't really get mad at a joke like that when you just got done making one before him.

[ziggue]

I remember going through one of my Ex's mobile phone one time to see if he was seeing any other girls. You can't tell with Name Lists it could be just their cousin or sister. You have to actually look at the messages the names send. Lol. Didn't find anything incriminating in the messages but ended up braking up with him for other reasons instead.

 

I agree with krbshappy if he starts getting defensive and jerk like every time you joke about him cheating then I would think about leaving him.

 

This girl I know. Her Ex boyfriend always accused her of cheating with people, even called her names like slut and hoe in public. In the end she found out that he was cheating on her.

 

Knowing how much she has given up for this guy. Plus having his baby. I know for sure that they are gonna get back together. Even my friend that is friends with her knows that too.

 

You don't wanna end up in that situation.