recordbuyer Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 I know I'm stupid. I'm 27, my girl is 25. We have been together 5 years. We just got back together recently after break-up #2. I've always treated her good, cherished her, been there for her, supported her, I Love This Girl. We broke-up because of her wanting to have a wild phase, not have to answer to anyone, be independent, have 100 percent fun with her friends etc etc. we broke up once, she came back .. i took her back but then she was out at all hours again, so we borke up again....months later she begged me to take her back, She said she new she would never find anyone as good as me for her etc, WELL, now were back together. got a new place, she's changed her ways. Constantly tells me she loves me and is trying to make a home for us. I love her very much, i always have, My love never changed ever since the beginning... But sometimes i find myself thinking about this other girl, a friend of mine, who confessed she liked me when Me and my gf, were on a break....but I turned her down cuz i was still in love with my gf and wanted her back. ANYWAY, this friend of mine.. Doesn't return my calls anymore, kind of avoids me...I think becuz she's embarrased and hurt, ever since I got back together with My GF. I still think about her. I did have a small small baby crush on her at one time, but like i said, i turned her down. Still I sometimes think about what could have been.......and that in turn, makes me wonder if I did the right thing taking my GF back, when she's done this to me twice. Am I Stupid??? Did I make the right decision??? Link to post Share on other sites
Touch of Innocence Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 If you have doubts about being with your gf (even if it's a small doubt) then maybe you should not be with her. It's not fair for you or her. Link to post Share on other sites
babybear Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Oh my god! I just finished writing the identical thing! My bf wanted to be "free" and wanted his "independence" and all the times he left to go do his thing, I didn't really date b/c I couldnt even think of anyone else. In the meantime, this wonderful guy came my way, and of course I just brushed it aside. And now, I'm back with my bf and still wondering what would have happened. I ran into him the other day, and I heard he's dating somoene right now...and it felt pretty crappy. So, my advice to you...tell your gf you have other areas to explore and go out and make sure that 1) She's the ONLY one for you. or 2) Someone else can put that smile on your face. You owe it to yourself. Babybear Link to post Share on other sites
Author recordbuyer Posted August 17, 2004 Author Share Posted August 17, 2004 Thanks Gals, I'll just take it day by day and see how it goes. Me and my GF have only been back together for 4 months. Things are going good, I mean like i said, I love her, she loves me. But sometimes a few things bug me and I'm not the type to hold resentment, but I start feeling some resentment, since my GF after all, left me twice for selfish reasons. She does tell me she loves me constantly, tells me i'm so special to her, tells me i'm handsome and is now hinting that she wants to get married etc. But still. . . . . I think about that other girl. The only thing that bugs me and makes me feel bad for having these feelings is that I've invested so much time in my GF. I truly do love her and have never even thought about being with anyone else. I firmly believe in, When you find something GOOD, You keep it. I just can't get these thoughts out of my head. I think about the other girl. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
sadeyz Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 I am in a similar situation except with my now husband. We broke up several times for different reasons. I think that when you break up so much, is ever the same. It is very hard to repair something that has been broken, twice in your case. I finally married him and it is worse now then before. Sometimes I wish we had never got married. Hopfully it works out in your case. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Hi, I have a story similar to all of yours..except I'm not the girlfriend, I'm the girl that the boyfriend thinks about all the time. I won't go into the details of my situation..but I can tell you what I think as being this girl.. After we dated, he went back to his ex and now they have more problems than ever..btw, we broke things off because he wasn't completely over dealing with the ex...he wasn't in love with her anymore but he needed to get over things with her..hopefully you understand what I mean.. anyways, a few months after him and I broke up, he went back to her..and although I was upset, I kind of had the attitutde that ok, let him do what he needs to do, and he'll figure out that you can't go back to someone you once fell out of love with (he had broken up with her twice already before we dated). So we have attempted to stay friends throughout this whole time he has been with her..he's broken up with her about 3-4 times since they got back together..and about 5 times in total since they started dating...it's been hard for me because we have mutual friends so i see him all the time..whenever we all get together, him and i end up talking all night long ..and it's great, but i also know that i have to detach myself from him if he's still dealing with that girl..it sucks to know that if it weren't for that girl, we knew we would have stayed together for a very long time because we had a great relationship..all of our friends see it too, and they think he's an idiot for going back to his ex.. anyways, my personal opinion on this is that you shouldn't go back to an ex unless you KNOW things have changed..otherwise it's going to be the same old deal..and you're only together because you can't bear to be alone..(this is what this guy actually told me..he's scared to be alone)...no girl wants to be with a guy who can't be independent..actually there probably are some out there....but anyways, if you have broken up more than once or twice and got back together..what is the point? it's going to end up in the same place you were at before when you broke up..like sadeyes said.. anyways, good luck guys and gals! Link to post Share on other sites
beautiful Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I am sorry but thisis a bunch of bull! you love your gf BUT you think about another girl? C.MON! Be for real here! Link to post Share on other sites
Author recordbuyer Posted August 20, 2004 Author Share Posted August 20, 2004 Being as "REAL" as I can. I truly respect women. I do Love my GF, A lot. We've been thru tons and tons of good times. We hardly ever fight. Only problem we've ever Had is "communication" and her Lack of confidence in several aspects of her life. She has a hard time feeling Good about herself or believing she can do things. I love everything about her and have Always supported her and nurtured her and always been there for her, encouraged her, etc. But I guess it's starting to wear thin on me. I can only deal with her down moods so much or encourage her enough or worry so much about if she's going to be cool by herself since, she doesn't do much of anything on her own, if I have to work or if I have a soccer game or whatever. Yeah, Maybe we shouldn't have gotten back together, because things could go right back to where they were, Her wanting to be independent, have fun etc. But i wanted to make it work, since we seem so good for each other and have a history. And I love her lots, but every once in a while i think about that other girl who likes me a lot, who is independent, chasing her goals, doing her own thing, etc. I don't know....I hate being this way, thinking about another girl, i hate myself for it. I've never ever ever ever had feelings like this. I'm not a selfish guy or a player or a dog. Maybe the feelings will pass. I don't want to break up with my GF for stupid Selfish reasons. I think maybe if she was more outgoing and didn't depend on me so much for her happiness, i would feel less pressure. I feel horrible saying that but... anyway, i'll figure it out. Thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
rukallstar Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 this may sound weird, but do you think that your current gf leaves you every time that you give her just enough confidence to want to go explore? have you ever talked to her about this? it may be a sign that you both are not the ones for each other, or it can change the dialogue so that things can be worked out? just a few observations best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
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