Does he even actually have a girlfriend?

[Nooridinaryrose]

Or is he just messing with my head? Okay the details of this post may sound a bit far-fetched, especially with the events and the timeline but every bit of it actually happened this way. In just a week I have went from being his main squeeze to being his "other woman".

 

We've been dating off and on for about 8 months and this guy is a bit of an eccentric. He has BA in psychology and he also claims to be an Empath. I couldn't quite settle down with him comfortably because everyone thinks he's a creep and I was constantly getting approached by people who complained of how he acted inappropriately. I was patient at first but over 3 months time it became too overwhelming so I called the relationship off for a while. We took a break for a couple of months but we couldn't stay away from each other so we decided to keep things low key and there wasn't any more drama.

 

Around fall we declared that we both loved each other and began to make plans for me to move in with him, he begged me to but over the last two weeks as I began to want to make the moving arrangements he had started to push me away. Only kissing my forehead and telling me he didn't think I was ready for such a big step.

 

Then last Friday I told him I was finally ready to make our relationship official again but then he told me that he now had feelings for someone else. I was shocked, angry and heart broken of how he just sprung it on me and I told him to stay away from me. I spent all weekend up until Christmas feeling horrible, I noticed he deleted me from facebook.

 

On Christmas night I sucked up my feelings and calmly messaged him a Merry Christmas and he promptly text me back. We started talking again and he said that he now had a girlfriend.

During the conversation I tried to sound happy for him but it was all a lie, I was very angry and vengeful and I really wanted to collect as much information about this whole new "girlfriend situation" as quickly as possible and to let him know how he made me feel face to face so that he couldn't just simply turn off a device to shut me up.

 

So Wednesday I invited him over to talk to see how we could at least repair our friendship. Oddly I remained calm and feigned being cheerful meanwhile subtly fishing for information. He said he met her a month and a half ago and that it was something that had "just happened" and that he was sorry for breaking my heart but he also said that he has has no plans of leaving her any time soon. I wanted to test just how out of love he had fallen with me and also do something vindictive and it lead to us having sex. I think it was too easy however, I don't think he really loves me and he certainly hasn't said it lately.

 

Here it is Sunday and he has been visiting my house every day since, comes here directly after office closing hours, spent both of his days off with me and leaves my place around 2am. Whereas he gets up around 7-9am. He's been texting me non stop as well. If anything we're spending a lot more time together than before and so I'm wondering if this "girlfriend" even exists. (Checked his phone but the only non family texts are from a guy, who has a girlfriend of his own but some of the texts are borderline flirty >.>) Or could this be a rouse to light a match underneath me?

[TaraMaiden]

Who cares?

 

My question to you is - how desperate are you to settle for someone who obviously has so many social issues that you could write a book on him?

 

He claims to be an emparth?

I think he's a ruddy psychopath - manipulative, dishonest and living in a fantasy world all of his own?

 

You want him?

Go get him!

I'd be running so fast in the opposite direction, you wouldn't see me for dust!

 

'Does he even actually have a girlfriend', is not the question.

The question is - why are you even asking??

[bentnotbroken]

Who cares?

 

My question to you is - how desperate are you to settle for someone who obviously has so many social issues that you could write a book on him?

 

He claims to be an emparth?

I think he's a ruddy psychopath - manipulative, dishonest and living in a fantasy world all of his own?

 

You want him?

Go get him!

I'd be running so fast in the opposite direction, you wouldn't see me for dust!

 

'Does he even actually have a girlfriend', is not the question.

The question is - why are you even asking??

 

 

Like your drawers were soaked in gasoline and he was holding the match. Girl...wake up.

[neveragain34]

This guy has some serious issues; run now!!!

 

Did anyone else catch that he is sending flirty texts to another guy???? I hope you are using condoms everytime you let him come over and use you for sex.

[Nooridinaryrose]

I'm aware that I sound like a desperate fool in a competition to win him back but it's a mixture of reasons why I'm still messing around with him and at times I'm not even completely sure what I'm doing, but one thing is clear is that I feel extremely hurt and betrayed even if he is just saying that he has a girlfriend only to watch how I react.

 

My motive the night we started back having sex was to sleep with him and try to collect as much evidence as possible of us being together and to gather as much information as possible about his relationship and who this other person is, so I can eventually show his "girlfriend" that he's a liar and a cheater and to hopefully destroy their "relationship" so he can feel just as bad as I did. The plan is to cut ties with him right after.

 

My motives now are to be the best girlfriend he will never have. They say 21 days of something becomes a habit and I heard that whoever control's a man's penis controls him. So I'm toying with the thought of testing this out, been acting extra extra nice and making it seem like I'm really there for him, improving my cooking and have been studying new techniques for the bedroom. Today I went out and bought some new revealing outfits not just for him but to attract potential dates after I hopefully succeed in screwing him over.

 

I want to get him really hooked on this "improved" person I'm pretending to be whether his girlfriend is a lie or not and then give him the boot when he's at a point where he feels he can trust that he'll always have me around at my best. I felt miserable like the world was going to end last weekend and I'm determined to bring him to the same dark place. If he had a girlfriend he'd be hurting her spending all this time with me and if this all a lie the loss is still going to remain permanent. Either way, the trust is permanently broken and I don't see us resuming and progressing as a couple in the future but right now I just can't let it go. My heart and wounded ego seeks justice.

 

At the same time being around him does alleviate my pain and anger from the heart break as we mimic happy times, and while I feel like my mind is receptive to common sense, my heart and emotions aren't and these emotions were becoming too much for me to deal with so I'm hoping that I'm also slowly weening myself away from him emotionally in the process as I think lesser and lesser of him everyday. Either way he must go, and I want the door to hit him on the butt on the way out!

 

And the other guy friend is actually a guy, he mentioned his girlfriend in texts but it has crossed my mind that maybe this new guy is actually his "girlfriend" even though my ex denies having an attraction to men. I just want to get more information on this supposed lover whoever they are if he has one.

[jwi71]

I'm aware that I sound like a desperate fool in a competition to win him back but it's a mixture of reasons why I'm still messing around with him and at times I'm not even completely sure what I'm doing, but one thing is clear is that I feel extremely hurt and betrayed even if he is just saying that he has a girlfriend only to watch how I react.

 

My motive the night we started back having sex was to sleep with him and try to collect as much evidence as possible of us being together and to gather as much information as possible about his relationship and who this other person is, so I can eventually show his "girlfriend" that he's a liar and a cheater and to hopefully destroy their "relationship" so he can feel just as bad as I did. The plan is to cut ties with him right after.

 

My motives now are to be the best girlfriend he will never have. They say 21 days of something becomes a habit and I heard that whoever control's a man's penis controls him. So I'm toying with the thought of testing this out, been acting extra extra nice and making it seem like I'm really there for him, improving my cooking and have been studying new techniques for the bedroom. Today I went out and bought some new revealing outfits not just for him but to attract potential dates after I hopefully succeed in screwing him over.

 

I want to get him really hooked on this "improved" person I'm pretending to be whether his girlfriend is a lie or not and then give him the boot when he's at a point where he feels he can trust that he'll always have me around at my best. I felt miserable like the world was going to end last weekend and I'm determined to bring him to the same dark place. If he had a girlfriend he'd be hurting her spending all this time with me and if this all a lie the loss is still going to remain permanent. Either way, the trust is permanently broken and I don't see us resuming and progressing as a couple in the future but right now I just can't let it go. My heart and wounded ego seeks justice.

 

At the same time being around him does alleviate my pain and anger from the heart break as we mimic happy times, and while I feel like my mind is receptive to common sense, my heart and emotions aren't and these emotions were becoming too much for me to deal with so I'm hoping that I'm also slowly weening myself away from him emotionally in the process as I think lesser and lesser of him everyday. Either way he must go, and I want the door to hit him on the butt on the way out!

 

And the other guy friend is actually a guy, he mentioned his girlfriend in texts but it has crossed my mind that maybe this new guy is actually his "girlfriend" even though my ex denies having an attraction to men. I just want to get more information on this supposed lover whoever they are if he has one.

 

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt" - Mark Twain.

 

All I could think of in reply...good luck

[Nooridinaryrose]

So you think it's a dumb idea you're entitled to your own opinion since I opened myself up to opinions on this. I'm really angry and confused over this situation and never experienced anything like it before and just doing what I think is best to get by and feel better about it.

[ThatJustHappened]

He sounds like a total nutball to me. Run. That's my advice.