Is it normal to have a lot of tentative appointments?

[ChiaT]

Hello!

 

At my work place, my boss hired an English teacher for having private lessons with those non-English speakers.

 

So I had the lessons with her for a while now, and generally speaking she is a kind and nice person. One thing that bothers and disappoints me is that she tends to make and cancel lessons at the last minute. She did show some regrets and knew that she needs to do better at scheduling; she apologized each time and promised to do better.

 

Last time, before the Christmas week, I sent her an email for a confirmation 2 days before the last lesson of the year, and then on the same day she before she took off, she canceled it with formal seasonal greeting. The reason was that she didn't want to come as the boss was not coming that day (it was a Friday..last day of work of the year). And then she also apologized and promised that she would change for the new year to have better scheduling. I didn't say anything negative but replied her with holiday wishes.

 

I am kind of disappointed and bothered by this; I am the type of person who feels the importance of keeping promises and making the efforts to rearrange schedules so I can make it to any appointments. It is the professional way, I thought. Now it is the new year, and I have been thinking to get rid of those tentative appointments that disturbs my 9-5 schedule and work.

 

Could you share some thoughts on this? Is it common and within the norm for people to cancel things at the last minute all the time? What's a good way to approach her and cancel the lessons so that she won't feel bad?

Edited December 30, 2012 by ChiaT

[MsSmurf]

I'm like you in that I prefer to make appointments and keep them. The only reason I ever cancel an appointment is because there is literally a crisis that I could not have helped. Cancelling appointments because my boss isn't coming in and I don't feel like coming in either would not be an option, is rude, and is also unprofessional. This woman clearly views scheduling differently and her *promises* to change in the new year are likely empty. Since this is a constant issue and it is bothering you then you need to find someone else to work with. When searching for that person be upfront about the fact that you're looking for a new person because the last person you worked with couldn't offer consistent scheduling.

[pink_sugar]

Are you an ESL person, OP? If so, I can hardly tell by your writing. Anyways, is there a chance you could approach your boss with this issue?

[ChiaT]

Hello pink_sugar and MsSmurf,

 

Thanks for your thoughts. I AM an ESL person

 

Finding an alternative English teacher is a good idea, but I think it will be difficult for now.

 

I don't really want her to feel bad or want my boss to say things that are hard on her because she seems nice, kind, and only a few years older than me. How should I approach my boss regarding this matter?

[MsSmurf]

Well ChiaT your English is outstanding, so perhaps you won't need too many more lessons. You absolutely should consider a new teacher and if you go to your boss just be honest. State that the current teacher is very nice and knowledgeable, but is unable to meet your scheduling needs. If she presses for details just say that you would like consistent appointments and the current teacher is unable to offer you that and often has to reschedule. If she asks why the teacher has rescheduled, just play dumb and say you don't know. Your boss needs to take that up with the teacher, not put you in the middle.

 

I know bringing this up won't be easy, but closed mouths don't get fed. Meaning you won't get what you want or need if you don't speak up and advocate for yourself.

[Nanuk]

If, in the new year, you find that things do not change (she is putting off appointments, etc.) you might want to bring it up to your boss. This teacher was hired to do a job and it sounds like she is not doing it. You might want to try telling your boss that you are concerned that you are not learning English and tell him/her what is happening. The teacher may be nice, but if she is not doing her job, she needs to be told; if I was employed and not doing my job, I would be let go for not doing what I'm being paid to do.

Edited December 30, 2012 by Nanuk

[ChiaT]

I see! Thanks again for your comments MsSmurf and Nanuk.

 

I am making a draft of email to send to the boss when the time comes. (He like emails because he is super busy with engineering work) I am thinking to wait, like Nanuk said, and then let my boss know when the scheduling still does not improve.

 

This is the draft. Could you please provide some feedback and comments? I would love to know if the message can maybe nicer or less aggressive..?

 

Note, the actual names are replaced by the role names

 

 

Hello Boss,

 

Thank you for setting up English lessons. You many times emphasized the importance of learning new English skills that are used in the professional world, so I have tried my best to attend Teacher's lessons, and she has been very nice and resourceful.

 

However, I am unable to attend the English lessons from now on. There were quite a few last-minute cancellations and rescheduling of lessons due to Teacher being too busy; perhaps she over-worked and/or had too many responsibilities.

 

It is with some regret that I need to inform you about this matter, but I am scared of the same thing continuing to happen throughout the new year. It had been quite disappointing and panicking when my schedule was disturbed at the last minutes. And I would love to start my new year with a peaceful and organized schedule.

 

Thank you very much for your attention and happy new year!

 

Sincerely,

Chia T

 

P.S. If you do decide to talk to Teacher about this, it would be greatly appreciated that you do not acknowledged me regarding this issue.

 

[MsSmurf]

I don't think that draft email is too aggressive or at all unkind. You're clearly making the matter about scheduling conflicts and nothing personal. I think you should add that you would like to work with a new teacher that is better able to accommodate your schedule however. That way it doesn't sound like you're telling your boss you don't care to improve your English, when it seems like you really do.

 

I would get rid of the PS comment though because most likely your boss will go to the teacher to find out what is going on. It could be that other students are having this problem as well and you aren't the only one bothered. Most bosses know how to handle this type of thing tactfully so you don't have to worry about getting in trouble.

 

And just as a side note while there are a couple of grammatical errors in the message I think you should leave them be. They don't affect the readability or tone of your message and they highlight that your English still needs a little bit of help, which is exactly what your boss wanted for you in the first place. Definitely hang onto the email and if after a few weeks things aren't better, just hit send.

[ChiaT]

Oh no! I would like to know the grammatical errors. Please tell me, MsSmurf!

 

And thank you again and again for the help I will do the adjustments and hang on to the draft email.

[MsSmurf]

Oh no! I would like to know the grammatical errors. Please tell me, MsSmurf!

 

And thank you again and again for the help I will do the adjustments and hang on to the draft email.

 

I wasn't mentioning them (and there really were just a couple) to make you feel bad, but thinking that your boss should know that you can still benefit from getting a little more help. Using the grammar check on your word processing software would be helpful, but I've bolded some things you might want to rephrase and crossed out a few words you don't really need. Regardless you want it to still sound like you wrote it.

 

Gravity also gave you some good ideas above.

 

 

Thank you for setting up English lessons she (with Teacher, she) has been very nice and resourceful. You many times emphasized (You have emphasized) the importance of learning new English skills that are used in the professional world, so I have tried my best to attend Teacher's lessons, and she has been very nice and resourceful.

 

However, I am unable to attend the English lessons from now on. There were quite a few last-minute cancellations and rescheduling of lessons due to Teacher being too busy; perhaps she (she is) over-worked and/or had (has) too many responsibilities.

 

It is with some regret that I need to inform you about this matter, but I am scared of the same thing continuing to happen throughout the new year. It had been (has been) quite disappointing and panicking when my schedule was disturbed at the last minutes And (minute and) I would love to start my new year with a peaceful and organized schedule.

 

Thank you very much for your attention and happy new year (Happy New Year)!

[ChiaT]

Hey gravity_defiant...Yes, I AM an Asian!

 

That’s a good idea to tell her and ask her about how to resolve the scheduling issues directly before telling my boss anything. I was not very direct before; I should try that next time.

 

Thank you and MsSmurf both for the corrections! It’s good to know my mistakes.

[Nanuk]

Hmm....reading these responses, I also like Gravity's suggestion - to speak to your teacher first - before going over her head. But if this doesn't work, then by all means go higher. Good luck!

[ChiaT]

I decided to try other alternatives like a book club; saw some on meetup.com. I have been to meetup.com events; the scheduling seems consistent. Also, I can get to talk multiple people to practice English for a longer period of time.

 

So I stopped the lesson with the teacher for now as my schedule is unsettling right now.

 

Thank you all again for your comments!