wittyscreenname Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 So, I've been involved with this guy for almost 2 years. He and his girlfriend got together three moths after he and I started sleeping together. Our relationship was strictly physical at first and I would see him maybe once or twice every two weeks. All this happened in college. We finished college, came back home. His gf is still in college comes home to visit. We live near each other and now see each other more often, sometimes everyday of the week and we've fallen for each other. He and gf are now engaged and will marry next year. Our love is growing stronger and stronger regardless. I have no qualms with being the other woman and it doesn't seem as if our relationship will end any time soon. I seriously hope she never finds out about us although I think she may have suspected something last year. I've been having some problems with this situation though of late since his fiancee is around and I can't see him and won't be able to till mid january. It makes me sad. And knowing that I will forever be number two makes me very sad too sometimes. But what can I do? It is what it is.. I'm not really asking for advice or anything. Just wanted to share my story. I have noone who I can speak to about him as not even my closest friends or family know about him. Sorry this ended up being so long and thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 On the contrary, it sounds like you do have qualms about being the other woman: I've been having some problems with this situation though of late since his fiancee is around and I can't see him and won't be able to till mid january. It makes me sad. And knowing that I will forever be number two makes me very sad too sometimes. But what can I do? It is what it is.. ... I have noone who I can speak to about him as not even my closest friends or family know about him. You say you're not looking for advice... are you sure? You say "our love is growing stronger and stronger", but he's marrying this girl he started a relationship with just three months after hooking up with you? And your affair has been going on for 2 years? Maybe your love for him has grown stronger, but whatever this guy feels for you, it's obviously not that much. Why did you persist in this situation? What story or justification did you buy into, that you went along with him in his decision to make you the piece on the side, his dirty little secret, and complicit in his lies and cheating? What was it that made all of this alright for you? Is the OW someone you really want to be? (All rhetorical questions you should ask yourself -- I don't need to know your answers.) You could do so much better than him, but in order for that to happen, you'd have to end it. He's content with the situation and has no motivation to change it -- no matter what he says. It's clear you are not content with the way things are. The person who puts you second (or third, or fourth, etc) is not The One. (I think I'm going to have to put that in my signature block.) This guy is not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 jeesh... when you said *other woman* I thought you were with the lying, cheating, spineless scumbag... I didn't realise you were his F.uc.kbuddy, and that both you and he were gaily pulling the wool over another woman's eyes.... is this for real? Are you really so clueless? Do you not have a conscience? What the hell made you think - when he met her - "It's ok, we can keep banging one another, even if he is now in a relationship..." - ?!? You need to stop this. And what's more, you need to tell her what she's letting herself in for. Because if you drop him, sure as eggs is unfertilised, he will find someone else into his marriage.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 This is so sad. Do you really think this little of yourself? Why don't you go find a single man who isn't going to make you his number 2? Link to post Share on other sites
18Years2Late Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 If you do nothing else...please tell this poor girl that's about to marry this loser what a huge mistake she's about to make...if you don't I guess we'll get to meet her over in the infidelity section one day...very sad...please tell her...she deserves someone who doesn't have a f*ck buddy on the side...and then just think, u can continue to be his f*ck buddy while he goes out to find another #1...a win win right???...barf... Link to post Share on other sites
Tenacity Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 So, I've been involved with this guy for almost 2 years. He and his girlfriend got together three moths after he and I started sleeping together. Our relationship was strictly physical at first and I would see him maybe once or twice every two weeks. All this happened in college. We finished college, came back home. His gf is still in college comes home to visit. We live near each other and now see each other more often, sometimes everyday of the week and we've fallen for each other. He and gf are now engaged and will marry next year. Our love is growing stronger and stronger regardless. I have no qualms with being the other woman and it doesn't seem as if our relationship will end any time soon. I seriously hope she never finds out about us although I think she may have suspected something last year. I've been having some problems with this situation though of late since his fiancee is around and I can't see him and won't be able to till mid january. It makes me sad. And knowing that I will forever be number two makes me very sad too sometimes. But what can I do? It is what it is.. I'm not really asking for advice or anything. Just wanted to share my story. I have noone who I can speak to about him as not even my closest friends or family know about him. Sorry this ended up being so long and thanks for reading. This isn't "long" and you DO have qualms about being the OW, or you would not have posted here. That's okay. The fact that you are the OW only AFTER he met the woman he plans to marry is very atypical. You said that "you and he have fallen for each other". It's really not complicated for you to see that if he had actually fallen for you (more than his fiancee), he would be with you. Do you see that? Why do you think he is not with you if you are the one for him? What is stopping him? I see nothing stopping him from being with you if that is what he wants. I think that is what you need to hear. Maybe what you wanted to hear. Because from your post, you already knew it. Don't waste any more time on something you already know is a complete waste of your time and effort and love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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