Ladies, would you find a man who plays an instrument more appealing than others?

[Keenly]

So growing up, I have always gotten the impression from just people talking or the media that women find musically inclined men more interesting. Is this true? I play guitar, can this be inadvertently used in my favor when attempting to seduce a woman?

 

I mean... I've done exactly that before, but I can't tell if those 3 girls were just young and fell for that or if the music is really that game changing. Any thoughts?

[M30USA]

So growing up, I have always gotten the impression from just people talking or the media that women find musically inclined men more interesting. Is this true? I play guitar, can this be inadvertently used in my favor when attempting to seduce a woman?

 

I mean... I've done exactly that before, but I can't tell if those 3 girls were just young and fell for that or if the music is really that game changing. Any thoughts?

 

From a merely sexual standpoint, I would say this is true.

 

However, from my observations, women tend to associate playing an instrument (as an adult) with low income, lack of financial ambition, and childishness. Just think of how they portray immature, adult men on television--they're always playing electric guitar, listening to music, etc.

 

So women, on the surface, seem to be attracted to it. But they don't like it as anything more than an occasional hobby. And some women (like my ex) would actually get pissed off if their man plays an instrument. They view it as him ignoring her.

Edited December 30, 2012 by M30USA

[Keenly]

From a merely sexual standpoint, I would say this is true.

 

However, from my observations, women tend to associate playing an instrument (as an adult) with low income, lack of financial ambition, and childishness. Just think of how they portray immature, adult men on television--they're always playing electric guitar, listening to music, etc.

 

So women, on the surface, seem to be attracted to it. But they don't like it as anything more than an occasional hobby. And some women (like my ex) would actually get pissed off if their man plays an instrument. They view it as him ignoring her.

 

The ignoring her part sounds like a huge insecurity issue with the female...

 

But that's insane. If a woman told me that one of my favorite things to do, the one thing that just made me feel at one with the world and set me into a trance of musical bliss was childish, I would never speak to her again.

[M30USA]

If a woman told me that one of my favorite things to do, the one thing that just made me feel at one with the world and set me into a trance of musical bliss was childish, I would never speak to her again.

 

Dude, I concur. Playing music puts me in another world.

[monicaelise]

I'm a huge music fan, but the idea of being "seduced" by a man's ability to play just makes me think of Will Ferrell's jazz flute scene in Anchorman. I just can't take that sort of thing seriously.

[Keenly]

I'm a huge music fan, but the idea of being "seduced" by a man's ability to play just makes me think of Will Ferrell's jazz flute scene in Anchorman. I just can't take that sort of thing seriously.

 

Not in that sense. What I'm specifically referring to is past experiences. Basically they have all gone the same way. I don't ever actually mention during the dating process that I have this talent. Eventually they come over and see it leaning against the wall and then this "I want to hear you play" conversation starts. I guess they expect me to be terrible and are surprised when I turn out to be good at it. One of my ex's, a pretty big whore at the time, proceeded to take off my pants within a few minutes of this example. I have a feeling with her it was more because she was a slut.

 

The first experience I had with that though was when I was younger my roommates and I threw one of hundreds of parties. A girl came with a guy, who turned out to be her ex boyfriend. A little fiddling on the giddy stick to her favorite band, and mine as well, and she was crashing at my place that night.

 

Is it a circumstantial thing? Or more like a personal preference thing?

[TaraMaiden]

I wouldn't mind you being a musician at all, but I'd expect all the lushy-romantic songs to be about me.

[movingon12]

Mine is a great drummer and I like to watch him play, but it doesn't make a big difference in how I feel about him.

 

Definitely not interested in being serenaded (regardless of the instrument). Awkward!

[monicaelise]

Is it a circumstantial thing? Or more like a personal preference thing?

 

Fair enough. If that's the case, then I would say both. To draw an analogy (albeit a slightly crappy one), some men are butt men. When they see a great tush, they get turned on. On the other hand if a woman goes out of her way to shove her great butt in a man's face the man may wonder if she's a "player" (or whatever you call the female equivalent) or an attention whore. I think most men would prefer to discover her great trait on their own. In other words, leave the guitar alone, in it's case, unless you're asked to play.

 

But that's just me and I'm sort of a less is more kinda gal. Big, intentional displays of any sort make me uncomfortable and suspicious.

[ooglesnboogles]

I'm a guy who plays more than 5 instruments and so far it hasn't been a deciding factor as far as I know, but I can't say it's ever hurt me. I don't play too much, though I played in a professional group for a while. I think as a hobby it's much more attractive, as professional musicians have tough schedules and lifestyles (and jealous mates might not like the attention some of those musicians get, I know I wouldn't). I know a lot of girls who've told me they like to hear me play, like to know that I play, but I've never played for a girl or had a girlfriend request it. Maybe when they first find out, or when they're trying to be flirty, but not otherwise.

 

I still play for fun. It's my one big creative outlet.

 

 

Odd story: I was playing outside one day since it was sunny and I had been cooped up by finals for a few days. I have an odd stringed instrument so every now and then someone would stop by and ask about it, and I'd explain. A cute girl walked up and asked about it, I explained, and she walked away. Right then, a friend of mine came up and asked if I got her number. He said she had been eye-balling me for like 15 minutes before coming up; unfortunately, I had been so focused on enjoying the day and play that I didn't realize it.

So guys, remember to pay attention and make a move =P

[sweetkiwi]

Women like skillz. I loooove when a guy plays instruments.

[ThaWholigan]

I play piano and bass guitar - I'm not bad at guitar either. It helps in terms of intrigue, but nothing more.

[EasyHeart]

It certainly can't hurt, but I wouldn't take up an instrument solely to try and seduce women.

 

My experience is like yours: Women see the guitar, ask me to play, and then get worked up. Of course, by the time they're in my place, they're pretty worked up already, so it's hard to tell if the guitar makes a difference.

[Anna84]

From personal experience, my answer would be - absolutely.

 

 

GRANTED that the person in question has obvious talent and hasn't learnt it just because he thinks its cool/sexy or something of the sort

[ooglesnboogles]

I've also found that people in general seem to like people who can sing, or at least seem like they can sing. It's the most natural instrument and those who sing often do it randomly (like while working, or walking, or driving, etc). I've found that people really like that. You get all those "Have you heard [name] sing? S/he is so good, I love listening to her/him!"

Unfortunately for me, I can only sort-of sing. Depends on the key, depends on the day, depends on whether I've had a cold recently. I work on it a lot, since as a musician I feel lacking that I can't sing very well. It's come in handy a few times, socially.

[Aedra]

It's more like an interesting attribute to your personality. Taking up guitar or getting singing lessons just to get some sexy-time is a bit weird and I'm not sure that'll actually work out. You actually have to love it and be passionate about it. Finding something you genuinely love to do and find women who love to do the same things as you do is a better way.

[SpiralOut]

When I was in college, the people who played guitar got attention because their music gave people a reason to gather around them. It's a good way to meet other music lovers and it's an easy way to make a friend if you're looking for someone to jam with.

 

I'm not sure if I would find a man more appealing just because he plays an instrument. I'm more likely to fall for writers, being a writer myself.

[Keenly]

Don't worry it isn't something I'm trying to take up just to get girls, that's pretty lame. I had already been doing this for ten years.

[spiderowl]

Yes, if he played it well, but I would also need to find him physically attractive. I do know that attraction can grow if I enjoy his music, as it has done before.