My Parents - The Eternal Optimists

[TheZebra]

I feel sucky complaining about this... but its hurt me so many times in the past few months and I guess I just need to vent about this.

 

My parents have always been optimistic and realistic. If I had considered choosing a major in an unemployable field, they would've stopped me. At the same time, they're also very supporting and very positive, cheering me on through every stage in my life.

 

The only one where it gets problematic is in my love life. Here in LS if I make a 'does he like me' thread, for example, I'm very likely to get some real responses that will likely wake up to reality. The nice thing about the internet is that no one is shy and afraid to hurt your feelings. Well, most people. If I do the equivalent and ask my parents for their opinions, most of the time they will respond with a resounding 'Yes!'. "Hey dad, he said he'd call me but I haven't heard from him in a few days... what do you think?" "Oh, I'm sure he'll call! You'll see!" That's just one of the MANY examples I've had to face over the last 4 months. They're just eternally optimistic and because they're my parents they give me so much false hope that it hurts when their 'predictions' don't come true.

 

*sigh* It's just so frustrating. I told them I want to move out, which they were unhappy about but understood. Aside from the whole being independent thing, it'll be nice to not have to tell 'em stories of my dating life anymore. When things don't go well and the guy doesn't call, I don't want to have to tell them. They get sadder than I do.

[Nightsky]

Wake up to reality you need new parents... (is that you wanted, if so the internet delivered. ) Now tell me I'm really sexy, that you can just tell from my posts.

[MissSantana99]

Be grateful you have parents like this. I wish my parents were a little more optimistic. Instead, they are angry, negative, and bitter people who have nothing better to do than to criticize and shame people who don't do the same things they do or what they want them to do. Be happy that you have supportive parents because they are hard to come by sometimes!

[TaraMaiden]

I was on a bus once, and two young schoolgirls (think 15 - 17 years, thereabouts) were talking...

 

1st Girl:

"God, my mum really gets on my nerves! Whatever I'm doing, she wants to know who with, where, when, what time I'll be home, if i need money, do I need picking up, whatever! God, she's always doing this!"

 

2nd girl:

"You're lucky. Mine doesn't."

 

I quietly reached over and patted her shoulder, reassuringly.

She turned round and I smiled and winked at her.

She knew.

I knew.

her friend still didn't get it.

[xxoo]

You don't have to share your dating stories with your parents now. Just keep things low key/private until and unless something serious develops.

[Nyla]

Be grateful you have parents like this. I wish my parents were a little more optimistic. Instead, they are angry, negative, and bitter people who have nothing better to do than to criticize and shame people who don't do the same things they do or what they want them to do. Be happy that you have supportive parents because they are hard to come by sometimes!

 

My mother is the complete opposite to what the OP is complaining about.

 

Some people just don't realize how good they have it.

[NoMagicBullet]

I've been through the same kind of thing, too, when the optimism gets to the point of being unrealistic (I think unrealistic is what you meant to write?), and it is frustrating. And it's tough when you need some real advice and not just sunshine and puppy dogs all the time. But... well, I'll tell you my story:

 

My mom is like that. As I've gotten older, I've found out more about her life and about some really difficult things she had to deal with, and I have to say, I'm amazed at her largely positive attitude even at her later stage of life. I myself have also come to appreciate just how much having a positive attitude can make a difference in my own life. Perhaps that is where your parents are coming from? Perhaps they see you as having all kinds of possibilities and opportunities and don't want you to miss out due to what they perceive as negativity.

 

Parents also have this thing where they get stuck as seeing their kids as kids, and it's often not easy for them to accept that their children have become adults -- they don't know how to deal with you as an adult, which would include being able to balance the optimism with the realism. I think some parents also try to forget or want deny that the hard times they went through when they were young will be the same things their kids will inevitably go through (broken hearts, crappy jobs, evil bosses, etc). They want their kids to have it better than they did in all ways, possible or impossible.

 

I agree with xxoo -- pick & choose what you share with your parents, but I also suggest cutting them a little slack. They want good things for you, and it's going to be quite a while before they can express that to you like they would an adult versus a kindergartner.