Close male friend expressed feelings....

[emichele_4]

A male friend & I began spending a lot of time together and speaking just about everyday, multiple times a day. I noticed I was starting to possibly feel something more, but thought it would be better to keep it to myself. We know each other well. We sometimes know what the other is thinking with just a look. We became very close. The week before Christmas he called me in the middle of the night on his way home from the bar in the snow. He was driving and said that if anything happened to him then he wanted me to be the last person he spoke to. I told him that he should concentrate on driving. A few minutes after we hung up he sent me a text saying, "I would totally date you". I had kind of thought he might have feelings, but was surprised he admitted it to me. So, my response was "you're just saying that because you're drunk". After that I think I hurt his feelings. He was short with me and said goodnight. Things were normal until a couple of days later. We met up later in the night at the bar and I had a few more to drunk than I should've. He has always came and stayed on my couch after drinking so it was normal for him to that night too. We got to my house and he kissed me several different times. I said I didn't think we should be doing that because he had hooked up with one of my sisters a while back. I ended up with a couple of streams of tears coming out and trying to drunkenly talk about it. Neither of which were appropriate at the time. After that things have been weird and he's been distant. I have no clue what to do. I've started just giving him some space for now, but its driving me crazy. I miss my friend and am afraid something that had the potential to be something special is ruined. What do I do??

[soccerrprp]

I've started just giving him some space for now, but its driving me crazy. I miss my friend and am afraid something that had the potential to be something special is ruined. What do I do??

 

What do you mean "something that had the potential to be something special?"

 

Are you saying that you are open to having a romantic relationship with him? Or a special, platonic friendship?

 

You do what you're doing. Give him some space for now. Hopefully he will come around and get back to you. But, you now know how he will respond if you reject his romantic interests. It may not be possible to regain the "friendship" you had now that this has happened. If you are interested, let him know. If not, tell him that AGAIN and tell him you hope you can be friends as you once were.

 

I am in a similar relationship with an ex. But, we are mature enough to maintain our friendship because we value that more than anything else.

 

Good luck.

[NoMagicBullet]

Giving him some space right now is probably a good thing, but if you are clear about wanting to date this guy and see where it goes, I suggest you contact him and apologize, saying that you didn't mean to hurt his feelings, that you are interested in dating him, and that both of you should meet and talk about it while you're both sober. But be honest with yourself about what you want. Have courage and don't back off from him in order to save a friendship that would be a sorry consolation prize in lieu of the relationship you really want.

[carhill]

What do I do??

 

Re-examine this when both of you are sober.

 

Welcome to LS

[emichele_4]

After two weeks I said something. I wanted to in person, but there hasn't been a chance and I didn't see one coming up soon. So, I shot him a text explained that I felt bad for how I reacted and how that wasn't the way I wanted to respond. I told him I wasn't sure if he meant what he said or not, but that I'd be lying if I said the thought hasn't crossed my mind. That was yesterday afternoon. I haven't heard anything in return (and we had been texting at the time). I haven't said anything since I sent it because I don't want to push it.