A friends to lovers story without an ending

[Lupo]

I'm sticking with the tradition here, I've got a friend, Leslie, and want to take it to the next

level. I am willing to risk it all, but I don't want to hurt her in the process. Anything substantial?

 

I've known her for almost 5 years now and this isn't the first time I've felt that I wanted more.

It all started when I met her in karate, at the time I was recovering from a bad relationship and

wasn't going to get involved again until I could love again. From there we became good friends,

she helped me through those times and I slowly began to fall in love with her.

 

She had a boyfriend, I met him and he was okay in my book so, I just supported her as a friend

and I drifted away from her. This was about 2 years into the relationship. I put it behind me and

went back to a being her friend.

 

I focused on karate and decided to wait on true love. That lasted for about 2 years. I once again

started to have feelings for her, she doesn't have a boyfriend, and I want to take it to the next level.

 

Thats it for the history, but that can't help me with a solution.

 

We have a been through a lot, she is the closest friend I have. I can tell her anything except for

this, but I hope thats where your insight will help. Recently we have been going out as friends, I

havn't really said I love you as a friend, and neither has she, but she uses it with her other friends.

Its a little strange, but probably nothing. Anyway she tries not to fall in true love, I think its because

of past relationships, so that makes it a little complicated. The newest complication is that one of her

friends had her talk to another potential friend who claimed he loved her and the she was his soul mate

on day 1. So I have been helping her with that, it almost sounds like a mind game, but its a little too

elaborate for that. Whenever we are together we're happy, and when we're apart I miss her even with

my other friends. Anyway when we talk its about how our lives are going and our future plans. She

wants me to take some of the same classes and play online games with her. Last night I gave her a

necklace, and she got embarresed it was awkward for both of us. I say her today, we were on the usual

friendship level. This Friday we are going to a fair together and I want to make an attempt for more there.

Some specific details, when we go out she dresses up, carries lip balm, and is always full of energy. She

once compared herself to a welcome mat because she has a hard time saying no, I forgot to mention the

stalker friend is suicidal, but we're through that now.

 

Sorry for the length, if you have any specific questions i'll try to answer.

Any advice is welcome.

 

BTW: Do all friends that date carry lip balm?

 

-Lupo

[reasontosigh]

BTW: Do all friends that date carry lip balm?

 

Quite a lot of us carry lip balm even when we're not dating!!

 

Chapped, cracked, parched lips can be rather painful for one to deal with, not to mention painful for others to have to notice!!!!

[Lupo]

I think my biggest problem is thinking to much. Its probably the reason i'm in this situation.

 

Anyway, thanks for the response.

[Lupo]

This is my first thread so its not as organized as it should be.

So here's it in a nutshell...

 

1. What would you do in this situation?

 

2. How do you determine friendly signals from loving?

(she said herself that she puts the phrase "I love you" into friendships to build a bond)

 

3. Is it too soon to ask to be more with the suicidal friend?(2 weeks ago)

 

A new development...

 

Today karate was canceled so we went to her place and worked self defense in the mud, yeah it ended up in a good 'ol mud wrestling match. Afterward we washed each other off with a hose and talked for a half hour. I am

a therianthrope, and she's now taken an interest in wolves, its stuff like this that confuses me.