Would you be willing to Convert to a spouse's Religion?

[jcrew11]

I'm just curious if any singles here have ever considered dating outside their religion?

 

If you are a baptized Christian, have you ever considered dating and converting for a Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Roman Catholic, Agnostic-Atheist person, etc.?

 

If you are Agnostic-Atheist, would you be uncomfortable dating someone who followed an orthodox religion?

 

Do you want to raise children in "your religion" or "the religion of your spouse"?

 

I think even in 2012, Americans have become more Atheist and Agnostic, but we are still uncomfortable dating someone with a different religion or be willing to convert for the spouse.

 

We subconsciously limit our dating options because of our religion beliefs or fears of different religions. Our "dream guy or girl" is usually someone who shares the same religious views.

[movingon12]

Ideally I would have preferred my spouse to be an atheist like me. He's not though. It's not a dealbreaker but there is no way on earth I would convert. I would like it if he saw sense and gave up his beliefs, but I don't expect him to - 36 years of brain washing is hard to overcome so I've never asked him to.

 

As for children - he will be raised to understand that daddy believes X and mummy doesn't. Also that other people believe all sorts of other weird things. When he's old enough to make an educated decision for himself he can choose to follow his father's religion if that's what he really wants - but I'll be taking him to every science/space/natural history museum I can find to try to ensure that doesn't happen.

[TheFinalWord]

If you are a baptized Christian, have you ever considered dating and converting for a Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Roman Catholic, Agnostic-Atheist person, etc.?

 

Yes, I've tried twice. It never worked for me. I don't know how someone who knows Christ can have a deep relationship with someone that hates Christ.

 

It never worked for me.

 

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols?

 

A yoke is a device that binds two bulls together. It was used to plow fields. A yoke doubles their power and makes them one unit. The passage is basically saying, how can two people that are going in two different directions accomplish a common purpose in life. As a Christian, our life goal is to serve God. How can you do that unequally yoked?

 

PS: I'm not brainwashed. I was atheist, and converted to Christian.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Yes it's very sex and the city esque

[ls32ssibm]

Hardly sounds like a good idea and somewhat defeats the purpose of religion.

[TheZebra]

Being an atheist, I don't think I could date anyone who is devout to their religion, regardless of what that religion is. I even prefer not to get married, but if I do I don't want God or religion anywhere near it. I need a partner that believes the same.

[mortensorchid]

I think it's all about balance. I couldn't imagine an atheist with a fundementalist Christian or Muslim. I have known a few couples whose religious differences drove them apart. One wants one thing, another wants another. Even if neither party is practicing for whatever reason, those differences in whatever religion you came from will end up shaping who you are today.

 

Converting to another religion? I would have to say that that person must really love the other in order to do it, or would feel that they were truly called to another faith in order to convert to another religion for them. That is a true commitment.

[TheZebra]

I think it's all about balance. I couldn't imagine an atheist with a fundementalist Christian or Muslim. I have known a few couples whose religious differences drove them apart. One wants one thing, another wants another. Even if neither party is practicing for whatever reason, those differences in whatever religion you came from will end up shaping who you are today.

 

In the end it comes down to understanding, I think. I once dated a guy who was a completely different political affiliation than I was, but it never hurt the relationship because we respected each other and listened to each other's viewpoints. We may not have agreed, but we showed respect and never called each other names or anything like that. I think you do need the same thing if you're dating someone of a different religion.

 

Personally, I can respect other's religious choices, but dating someone who expects me to go to church, or baptize a child for me is a dealbreaker. At least with politics I'm not expected to do anything

[Clockwork]

As for children - he will be raised to understand that daddy believes X and mummy doesn't. Also that other people believe all sorts of other weird things. When he's old enough to make an educated decision for himself he can choose to follow his father's religion if that's what he really wants - but I'll be taking him to every science/space/natural history museum I can find to try to ensure that doesn't happen.

 

Strange, considering science and religion can and do very much co-exist with each other and God is actually the one who created science. Oh well.

 

No, I don't think it is a good idea. If you are wishy-washy about your religion (eg. you grew up in the church but don't practice it) then it probably is an easy transition for you. But if you are truly devout in your faith I can't see why you would be with someone who isn't. You are only going to gt dragged down. If you are agnostic, do you not see the future problems that can be caused by raising children as the poster I am quoting seems to explain well enough. Who is the kid going to believe? It's only going to complicate them further.

[movingon12]

If you are agnostic, do you not see the future problems that can be caused by raising children as the poster I am quoting seems to explain well enough. Who is the kid going to believe? It's only going to complicate them further.

 

My children will believe the truth:

- Different people believe different things.

- Just because 2 people believe different things they can still love and respect each.

- You should never assume you have all the answers.

[Necris]

Strange, considering science and religion can and do very much co-exist with each other and God is actually the one who created science. Oh well.

 

That reminds me, this maybe a bit off subject but I discovered something quite interesting today in regards to the Bible.

 

I saw a documentary today about a new theory in theoretical physics describing the creation of the universe so that got me wondering what does the Bible say about the universe and I was pleasantly surprised the Bible agrees alot with modern day science.

 

For example the universe today is considered to be finite, created at some point in time in an event called the "big bang" and is constantly expanding ever faster, the expansion of the universe according to many scientists today is caused by Dark Energy which scientists haven't been able to unravel what exactly is dark energy.

 

In the Bible, God is not only attributed to creating the universe, but he is also the one "stretching out the heavens" of our finite universe.

 

Another surprising fact included in the Bible is how it describes how God is going to destroy the universe sometime in the future, the destruction of the universe as described in the Bible does actually sound very much like the Big Crunch theory on the end of the universe. In the Bible it states that God will "roll up the heavens" destroying everything with heat, in a big crunch scenario the same thing happens the universe collapses into itself creating massive temperatures and gravity.

 

So thousands of years ago believers already knew about what we are just discovering today about the universe, which is truly fascinating.

[TaraMaiden]

Originally Posted by jcrew11

I'm just curious if any singles here have ever considered dating outside their religion?

 

If you are a baptized Christian, have you ever considered dating and converting for a Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Roman Catholic, Agnostic-Atheist person, etc.?

Could I rectify a small misconception here...?

 

Nobody 'converts' to Buddhism.

Everyone can TAKE UP Buddhism if they choose - and practice it fully, alongside their existing creed or calling.

Buddhism requires no conversion, and certainly never demands that you 'drop' one faith for another.

 

If a person takes up Buddhism - they can still be a practising Jew, Hindu, Muslim or Christian.

 

Because Buddhism has no God, it's considered a Philosophical religion - and as such, the only commitment, and level of adherence, is in your mind.

[PogoStick]

Well you got it a bit backwards. Science came first, which created super advanced ancient aliens who then created god. We know this because when Jesus had visions from the holy anointing oil (Christ means "to be anointed", I'm sure you know that.) he said "Reason created the Founders of The One." It's pretty obvious the aliens accidentally caused the big bang which gave birth to god. Of course, the big bang destroyed the alien civilization which is why we don't see them today but we know it really happened because Jesus said so.

[Janesays]

No. Never. I'm an atheist and I couldn't just 'start' believing in God anymore than I could start believing in the tooth fairy.

 

I wouldn't mind dating someone who believed as long as they didn't shove it down my throat.

 

My current fiance is completely uninterested in religion which is just fine with me!

 

My child will be raised to follow her own way, wherever that may be.

[Alexanda]

No, I wouldn't date or marry anyone who isn't a Christian. I think dating someone outside Christianity would kind of complicate things especially once you get married. I have met guys that I liked that were Muslim or Hindu, but I would never date them.

[EasyHeart]

My parents each had a different religion and it never caused any conflicts, but they had a strong respect for each other's beliefs and taught us to respect all beliefs.

 

But I can see that if you think you belong to the one and only true religion or if you don't respect any religion, then that's going to be a problem for you not only in relationships but in the rest of your life, too.

[carhill]

I liked how my parents did it. My dad was the religious one and mom respected it and validated my being raised in that religion. In turn, he respected her perspective of not participating personally and did not expect her to change her beliefs to suit his. Their views on ethics and morals were synergistic across religious boundaries.

 

I would not 'convert' to another's religion. I respect their beliefs and that is all. It doesn't interest me. YMMV.

[Taramere]

I'm just curious if any singles here have ever considered dating outside their religion?

 

Well, I was christened as an Episcopalian, and I've dated a couple of people who were Catholics and a few more who were agnostics/atheists. As long as they're not going to start preaching things I find pointless and unhelpful like "God loves you" at me or otherwise trying to fix everything with religion when life isn't going so well, then I don't really mind if somebody follows a religion.

 

 

If you are a baptized Christian, have you ever considered dating and converting for a Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Roman Catholic, Agnostic-Atheist person, etc.?

 

I don't even practice the religion I was christened with, let alone anybody else's. So, no to that.

 

If you are Agnostic-Atheist, would you be uncomfortable dating someone who followed an orthodox religion?

 

As long as they were comfortable with me not sharing their religious outlook, but I suspect that in practice that might prove difficult.

 

Do you want to raise children in "your religion" or "the religion of your spouse"?

 

N/A

 

I think even in 2012, Americans have become more Atheist and Agnostic, but we are still uncomfortable dating someone with a different religion or be willing to convert for the spouse.

 

We subconsciously limit our dating options because of our religion beliefs or fears of different religions. Our "dream guy or girl" is usually someone who shares the same religious views.

 

I think that in practice for most people, the dream man or woman is one who they have intense sexual chemistry with. If they have strong philosophical incompatibilities, they might choose to see these as "fixable" rather than give up the person they have such great sex with. However, it's probably more realistic to see sexual incompatibilities as fixable than it is to see philosophical incompatibilities as something that can be successfully addressed. I see religions as basically being philosophies with some magical thinking attached.

 

If you and your person of a different religion can work out some agreement along the lines of "we're worshipping the same God, we're both moderate in our views, and our religions are pretty much saying the same things (so long as we cherry pick from them in order to preserve agreement between us), then that can probably work.

Edited January 1, 2013 by Taramere

[El Brujo]

No. Never. I'm an atheist and I couldn't just 'start' believing in God anymore than I could start believing in the tooth fairy.

 

I wouldn't mind dating someone who believed as long as they didn't shove it down my throat.

 

My current fiance is completely uninterested in religion which is just fine with me!

 

My child will be raised to follow her own way, wherever that may be.

 

^That.^

 

Recently I heard about Rev. Carlton Pearson, who got excommunicated from Oral Roberts' organization for saying God didn't create Hell (he says Hell is a human invention)... essentially he questioned the whole concept of "faith through intimidation". I totally agree with him... he says faith through intimidation ("you're gonna BURN in HELL, sinner!") isn't genuine faith.

 

But personally, I think the reason a lot of people say they're religious is because they think of Heaven as sort of like North Korea but with God instead of Kim Jong-Eun... except there's nothing but partying, booze, and sex. People want those goodies!

 

Theology aside, I'd never be happy being paired up with a Christian, Jew, Muslim, or a Hindu... or even a Pagan, if she thought science was a bunch of BS instead of the way the world works. I can't be happy with anyone who thinks everything happens because of some mysterious magic... such as God turning sand into living flesh ( = Adam).

 

I guess the only exception would be a woman who's sick of the religion in which she was raised, but can't really leave it without getting kicked out of her own family... sort of like my neighbor who got fed up with being Catholic, and converted to Paganism.

 

Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that there are a lot more women than men who are holy-roller types who reject science across the board...

[MissBee]

I would not convert to a spouse's religion.

 

Religious belief is personal and is solely an individual choice. It shouldn't be done for the sake of another.

 

The person I am going to marry would need to have compatible beliefs with mine and we would need to discuss how we'd like to raise our children in terms of spirituality.

 

However, I'm not going to date someone and "convert". It seems a bit mindless and defies the purpose. I do however know men, my dad and an uncle of mine, who married women who were strong Christians, and simply converted to make them happy, although it was an empty gesture. It only made for more conflict.

 

It's an interesting dilemma though if your spouse changes religious belief/affiliation during the course of your marriage. Example: you married an agnostic person who has a spiritual awakening 10 years into your marriage. That would be something to contend with. But again for me, religious/spiritual belief/conversion should be individual and authentic and not simply you doing it because someone else is, even if that someone is your spouse.

[M30USA]

Personally no, I would never date a theist. There might be exceptions if they were only a theist in name, and not practicing, but other than that, no chance. I think converting to suit someone else is bound to end up in conflict.

 

I think people need to be on the same page with regards to religious beliefs, otherwise, when it comes to raising children, you're going to be in quite a pickle. I'd fear if I dated a theist, when it comes to teaching the child about the origins of life, it would annoy me no end if they started teaching the child creationism.

 

 

Converting to be with someone is like dying your hair blond because you find out the guy of your dreams prefers blonds. It's fake, and your roots will soon start to show. I know someone who is converting to Islam because of her long-term boyfriend, but they've been together years. Personally, I'm confused at her choice, because I don't think Islam treats women very well (but perhaps he does treat her well).

 

To save time, I think people should ask the person upfront about their religious affiliations, and work out if they match up. No sense in wasting time with someone who you may need to convert later or will try and convert you later.

 

While I do agree with you, isnt that being "closed-minded" and "exclusive" in your thinking? Christians are called these very things for doing similarly.

[M30USA]

No, it's not. It's knowing what I want, and what kind of person I want to be with, and not ignoring red flags when you see them. I would hate to get to the point of raising a child, then having a divide over how to raise them and what to teach them with regard to religion.

 

I actually agree with Christians who only date Christians, etc, especially if religion is a big part of their life. Perhaps it is closed-minded, and exclusionary but if you think about it, it's no more closed minded than deciding any other characteristics that you prefer in a partner. Everyone excludes someone in their choices. It's all about making rational and sensible choices for you.

 

My biggest issue with dating a religious person would be that they would eventually "force" their religion on me, and be constantly trying to bring religion into a place I have no use for it.

 

Exactly. Now apply that same concept to life, in general. Assuming a Christian is well-informed and can defend their belief, it's a GOOD thing how they "know what they want" and live accordingly.

[M30USA]

So long as it doesn't affect anybody else, then sure. Unfortunately, slightly off-topic, often this does not happen and they do start to impose on other people because of their beliefs.

 

Back on-topic now.

 

Everybody, whether they verbally impose their views on others or not, imposes their view in some way. Simply LIVING in a specific way, and speaking a certain way, is an imposition. To some, even silence and passivity is offensive and imposing. As I've said before, the world is never neutral. We are living vessels for spiritual doctrines--good or bad, true or false.

[bentnotbroken]

I'm just curious if any singles here have ever considered dating outside their religion?

 

Yes

 

If you are a baptized Christian, have you ever considered dating and converting for a Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Roman Catholic, Agnostic-Atheist person, etc.?

 

No

 

Do you want to raise children in "your religion" or "the religion of your spouse"?

 

Would only marry a Christian.

 

I think even in 2012, Americans have become more Atheist and Agnostic, but we are still uncomfortable dating someone with a different religion or be willing to convert for the spouse.

 

I agree.

 

We subconsciously limit our dating options because of our religion beliefs or fears of different religions. Our "dream guy or girl" is usually someone who shares the same religious views.

 

It is a very conscious choice for me. I don't view it a limitation but not adding headaches I do not need.

[Feelin Frisky]

That would be a no. I spent more than 50 years trying to see things through a lens of truth and science. I'm not about to start making idols and trying to influence the cosmos by praying to them. Mumbo-effen-jumbo