Hopeoverexperience Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 12 months ago I met someone who I fell head over heels in love with. It ended badly with him going back to his ex partner (mother of his child) to give their relationship another go. During the time we were together it was the best relationship I've ever had. I loved him absolutely and believed he felt the same about me. We planned a future together and then, one day, he just left. I was devestated but over the last six months I've rebuilt my life and have been really happy. Having said that though, there's always been a bit of me that can't believe what happened and I've always felt like I met the person that I was supposed to be with but that I can't be. Now he's back - I could never properly close the door and after six months of intermittent knocking I seem to have let him in - and says that leaving me to go back was a terrible mistake. He's remorseful and I believe him. The situation has changed somewhat (his ex partner has a new bf, I've got much more going on in my life and more friends to keep me rooted and to give me 'helpful' advice) but he's still living in the same apartment with her. He says it's because of money and I can believe that. I've told him he has to move out pronto and live on his own if he wants a proper second chance with me. I know what I should do is refuse all contact with him until he's done that but I don't seem to be able to do it. I've missed him so much that everytime I try to enforce the no contact rule I break down. I can forgive his 'mistake' but I can't risk anything like it happening again and I need to know that he's with me because he loves me not just because I'm convenient. Help. I feel like I'm driving the car straight towards the edge of a cliff but for some reason don't feel able to press down on the brake pedal. Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 He was with you for a year and left you for another woman. That's how much he cared for you. Now that he's had problems with her, you're starting to look like a good second choice option. You love and value him like she didn't. He gets a lot of pleasure out of that. But does he love and value you as you deserve to be? No. There's no question that he doesn't. For this guy, it's all about him. That he's expecting you to accept him back while living with her and after having dumped you for her is messed up. He must still think you have the low self-esteem you had before. You SAY you don't. Actions will tell the truth. Do you? -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
rukallstar Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 totally agree with uriel. stop talking to him. i know it's easier said than done. in reality when it comes to this love thing we are a sad bunch of herion junkies at one point or another. can't see straight need our next fix, scrounge for what we can get, until we realize we just gotta go cold turkey. start sweatin', nasuea, can't sleep, chills. then it gets better. it gets great. say no to smack and get your life back Link to post Share on other sites
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