[b]I Cheated on my b/f and now one kiss is gonna ruin my relationship![/b]

[shlindz]

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HELP! I did something bad and now my boyfriend will not trust me again...

 

I started a new job a week ago, and since day one there's a guy that has been flirting with me and telling me things I wanted to hear. The romantic things I don't hear very often from my b/f. By the end of the week I had gotten to know this guy a little better and found myself a little attracted to him. we were standing around at the end of the day, just talking, when he took me by surprise and kissed me! I didn't know what to do?!? I pushed him back, but not quick enough before he stuck his tongue in there. He got fired that day for his actions and I got fired because my work schedule for my other job interfered with that job in the upcoming week. So I never had too see this guy again, but I still felt so guilty I had to tell my b/f. He was so hurt and so was I to see him that way. I told him I don't have feelings for this guy, but my b/f says he's never going look at me the same, and he's not sure if he can ever trust me again. What Do I Do? I can't lose the love of my life!

[faux]

From what I understand, you flirted with this man at your job. You liked what he was saying, and you did not tell him to stop, and inform him that you were taken already. Rather than work out slight problems in your relationship with your boyfriend by talking to him, you opted to allow this new man to fill in the gaps. You admit to having an attraction to him, which can be interpreted as having some "feelings".

 

You told your boyfriend what happened, which is good, but then you lied about not being attracted (having "feelings") for this other man. From how you describe it, it seems as though this man just lunged in for a kiss, so it was not to your planning. However, considering the fact that you admitted the attraction, admitted to liking his flirting, and that you welcomed his flirting, I would have been quite upset as well.

 

There may not have been much of a relationship left when your boyfriend decided to leave. Unfortunately, you cannot do anything to "get him back" or change his mind; This is something only he can do on his own. Without trust there is no relationship. Without communication there is even less of a relationship. I find that trust, communication, and openness and honesty are integral parts of a partnership with someone. It seems as though bits and pieces of these elements were missing in your relationship.

[savethedrama4allama]

In my opinion, the best you can do is explain yourself to the best of your ability, and ask for his forgiveness.

 

He is the one who will have to decide, and if you force the issue it could backfire. I know it is hard to be the one who is not in control of the situation, but if you pressure/guilt/trap him he may stay with you, but there is a good chance it will turn into a relationship based on distrust and vengeance.

 

Relationships have recovered from much worse than flirting and a sloppy kiss. It all depends on your desire to make it work, and the desire must be there for both of you.

 

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