M30USA Posted January 1, 2013 Share Posted January 1, 2013 I'm just looking for feedback or experiences from those who've been through an abusive relationship (especially physical). Have you noticed anything about the abuser's family or relatives that you believe contributes to their status? I'm referring to perhaps denial, minimization, and equally psycho/sociopathological conditions. If you don't have personal experience, I would appreciate any shared knowledge. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 The ex I was abused by had a mother who indulged his every wish and defended his ridiculous behavior. My ex had never worked an honest job in his life or even finished high school. This was because his parents bought him everything and I think that gave my ex a sense of entitlement. When I tried to leave, he would not return my belongings out of spite. I wanted my things back and I didn't want to call the police on him, so I contacted his mother and asked her to get my stuff. I also told her about the death threat her son made. She said I sounded vicious. Her son was keeping my belongings and threatening to have me killed, but I was the vicious one. Idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 My exH was abusive and his parents are divorced. His mother cheated on his father when they were married. She even slept with my exHs best friend when he was young. What's worse is that this boy called her Aunt Linda and my exH called this boys mom Aunt Claire. The two women were friends. Talk about boundary issues. She also wanted my exH to co-sign a loan for her when he got his first job as a car salesman. He was 17 at the time and couldn't but she would have trashed his credit too if it were legal for him to sign. When we were married we rented her house because she wanted to buy another house and couldn't swing two mortgages. She borrowed on the house we were renting, jacked up our rent and never fixed the bathroom with the bathtub. Our children, her grand babies, couldn't take a bath. They were three and four at the time. While we were living there she listed the house that we were living in. I found out about that the day I put my son in kindergarten on the school bus and saw a sign on the lawn. She ended up losing that house. She used it as an ATM machine one time too often. So yeah, my exH doesn't have a whole lot of respect for women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author M30USA Posted January 3, 2013 Author Share Posted January 3, 2013 This was because his parents bought him everything and I think that gave my ex a sense. Bingo. I remember reading an article by a PhD psychologist who said that spoiled children whose parents give them everything may exhibit the same negative behavior traits as abused or neglected children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I survived abuse, but I don't go around starting fights and throwing my weight around. I took out negative feelings on myself until I decided to attend therapy. I also got out of the abusive home and cut negative people out of my life. The ex I mentioned has not even finished high school, but he has a house that his parents bought for him. He loves to say "I have my own house!" He is also a very bossy know-it-all. Nothing funnier than a know-it-all who has not even achieved high school graduation and lives off of his parents. He's very ugly, so he has to meet women off the internet or on telephone dating lines. He can't meet women face to face like most of us can. I heard he has this uber controlling and jealous girlfriend, who gets mad if he watches television shows with pretty girls on it. He can't even give a woman directions on the street or his girlfriend will go crazy. Karma's a b!tch. Link to post Share on other sites
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