griffinchicken53 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 I have a question and the women might be able to answer this better than guys. I've been trying to have more female friends but i'm curious. Sometimes I'll be texting with someone for a while and with the iphone it shows they read the message but then they just don't respond. I know it's not a phone call where you say "bye" at the end. Same has gone with facebook messaging/email feature. I see them online yet either the message hasn't been read or it has and they don't reply. I was told once, Oh I didn't see it until now (few days later) I don't get that many emails or texts, so the little red icon stays up on my phone until I check them and it goes away. Women, if you see the red icon do you go check the messages or do you have so many you don't bother trying to go through them all? Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 2, 2013 Author Share Posted January 2, 2013 yea just friends. Maybe I'm looking for an indication there could be something more. Or am I really someone she considers a friend, or just someone to talk to until someone better comes along. I'm worrying over nothing. Gravity Defiant, what does your screen name mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 2, 2013 Author Share Posted January 2, 2013 sorry about that. it could be worse. I could get the hollow rejection reply. We'll see. We'll figure something out. I'll let you know. I finally figured out that just means "no" I guess all I can do is stay busy and check my phone from time to time to see if i ever get any replies. What bothers me is that I was feeling confident. Because of the holidays and people visiting from out of town I was out with friends, I danced, had a few drinks. Now I might either have to go out alone or stay in, hoping for this next christmastime. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 yea just friends. Maybe I'm looking for an indication there could be something more. Or am I really someone she considers a friend, or just someone to talk to until someone better comes along. I'm worrying over nothing. Gravity Defiant, what does your screen name mean? So no, you're not really looking for just friends. At the very least, you are trying to test their level of interest in you. Women can be very good at picking up on this kind of shady behaviour (and yes, it is shady, to be doing this under the title of "I just want to be friends"). I think that's what's happening here and why they aren't responding. Can you honestly say you are trying to be friends with women you are not at all attracted to? Because if you're truly looking for female friends, you need to find the cool ones you'd like to hang around with but would never date or kiss in a million years. To have a friend, you need to be a friend, with no ulterior motives. And friendships are best managed offline by getting together and doing things that interest both you and your friends. Quit worrying about what other people think of you. Go do stuff you enjoy, invite prospective friends along (male and/or female), and don't take it personally if they don't want to join you. And if what you really want is a girlfriend and not just a friend, then go for the girlfriend directly and don't try to go the fake "friend" route to get there -- women hate that. (Really, really hate that. And can usually smell it a mile off.) Besides, being "just a friend" to someone you want more with is an exercise in emotional masochism -- don't put yourself through that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 2, 2013 Author Share Posted January 2, 2013 I have some female friends I talk to. Ive known them a while, will always consider them a friend and nothing more. I'm kind of testing the water for my own interest. I'm friends with them, and if I ask them out and they say no, there goes the friendship and my confidence. Hanging out with them could have two outcomes, one being something could click and I wouldn't have any more want to date her and that only being friends is perfect. The other outcome is I feel there is something to act on. I just want to be sure. I only have 3-4 female friends right now, I don't want to make that number lower. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 2, 2013 Author Share Posted January 2, 2013 I have friends who were friend's with women. At some point they both felt something for the other and it worked out. That's what I'm hoping for. The things that interest me are motorcycles, I invite a few friends that have bikes to go ride. I had thought of trying to include a female friend with that. Link to post Share on other sites
FaithInTheDark Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 If Its just friends and noone gets back to me for a while it makes kinda wonder but Im not Hung up over it. If Its someone i like Im dying to hear from Them, cant help feeling bummed When they dont reply after it saying seen. If someone acts like they dont give a ****, they genuinely dont. I hate that cat and mouse thing, dont Keep reflecting. Make a effort but they gotta meet u half way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 3, 2013 Author Share Posted January 3, 2013 I used to not have many friends. Some have moved, I like being around people, and here recently I have been. Any time I hang out with someone I assume it's the last time. Days have gone by and noone initiates contact, I wait, try with new people, always the same. So I go back to going out by myself, all the while reminising that the last time I was here was fun because others were here. Now all my contact isnt on phone or in person... Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) I have a question and the women might be able to answer this better than guys. I've been trying to have more female friends but i'm curious. Sometimes I'll be texting with someone for a while and with the iphone it shows they read the message but then they just don't respond. I know it's not a phone call where you say "bye" at the end. Same has gone with facebook messaging/email feature. I see them online yet either the message hasn't been read or it has and they don't reply. I was told once, Oh I didn't see it until now (few days later) I don't get that many emails or texts, so the little red icon stays up on my phone until I check them and it goes away. Women, if you see the red icon do you go check the messages or do you have so many you don't bother trying to go through them all? i dont know about you but I have a problem being ignored....it makes me feel like crap.....i dont message many people because i hate texting it takes me forever.......i would prefer just a yep....or a nah...or a thanks...than nothing...i can handle one word....if i text it means i actually care ...so no response hits....i am a sook...i hide it well......not really anymore......which sucks but anyway...it seems to eb in fashion to ignore these days...i never do it intentionally...sometimes i lose my phone..my teen girls go off because i tend to text as soon as i get a message i wouldnt be surprised if they hide it on me...it turns up in really weird spots......and i say haha gonna text him now...smilin...i am so not cool didnt ya know......i have actually stopped texting the guy i like because he never replies....no cred..... deb starts thinking thoughtful here.....maybe he hasnt i guess ill never know but he does seem to get back to others just no tme....analysing coming up brain is ticking.....nah not gonna......i think it is usual for women to play hard to get......im just not into that if i am into someone......if i am not into someone...i would likely ignore....because i dont want to hurt someones feelings...which is probably what the guy i like does to me...its a vicious circle....he is a lot like me...thinks too much and then tells me not to analyse......smilin...text who you wanna text, be who you wanna be, dance like you just dont care is my motto....now i just have to live by that i have the dancing part done.....i am a grooverrrrr...just not a cool one.so here is that motto again for you in capppps lock.... TEXT WHO YOU WANNA TEXT, BE WHO YOU WANNA BE, AND DANCE LIKE YOU JUST DONT CARE..(sounds like a song, needed to write that in case that is someone else's lyric running through my head, no copy write infringement intended...i am mentally ill with a memory for words so give me a break)..best wishes...and add a bass beat.deb Edited January 3, 2013 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 [facepalm]+[headshaking]+[Jack Daniels] I have some female friends I talk to. Ive known them a while, will always consider them a friend and nothing more. I'm kind of testing the water for my own interest. I'm friends with them, and if I ask them out and they say no, there goes the friendship and my confidence. Hanging out with them could have two outcomes, one being something could click and I wouldn't have any more want to date her and that only being friends is perfect. The other outcome is I feel there is something to act on. I just want to be sure. I only have 3-4 female friends right now, I don't want to make that number lower. Exactly -- you aren't looking for friends. You're looking for a no-to-low risk way to score a girlfriend. Dude, life doesn't work that way. You're going to miss opportunities hanging around and waiting until you're "sure" -- then you'll likely find out you had it wrong the whole time. The things in life that really matter are the ones you have to put yourself out there and take risks for, relationships included. Please consider again what I already posted here, along with the fact that women don't tend to be attracted to men who don't even have the balls to ask them out on a simple coffee date. And women don't really like men who deceitfully use the guise of friendship to get into their pants and/or their hearts. (Some selfish women with no conscience whatsoever will use these guys, though.) I have friends who were friend's with women. At some point they both felt something for the other and it worked out. That's what I'm hoping for. That's your express one-way ticket to the Friendzone, where you get to watch your women friends go out with the men who took a chance and asked them out, while you grow increasingly bitter that they didn't appreciate your so-called "friendship" enough to date/sleep with/marry you. Although it may work in some cases, as with your friends, there are many more men who, like you, have consciously set out to do the same thing and failed. Repeatedly failed. And then blame others, usually women, for all their failures. Seriously, women are picking up on your real motives, and that's why you get delayed replies, if you get replies at all. For your own sake, I wish you'd reconsider this tactic, but you seem pretty set on it. Well, you can't say you were never warned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 So I'm assuming I've already ****ed up beyond repair these two friendships and can't go back to giving up and just being friends. Maybe it is because im not around many women that I fall for them. I could go the direct route and ask the one out, but it would be with a text. I've asked someone out by email and won't do that again. So unless I had an opportunity to be around this person I won't ask them out. I'm lost in this issue. It's not that I'm around many women and can say "I'll ask that one" she says no, next time I'm out I'll ask someone else. I don't go out places by myself, and the one woman who wanted to help me with that I guess I acted "shady" around and now I really ruined all potential opportunities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Sorry moderators, I typed a foul word that got censored, I thought people were doing it themselves. I'll watch out in the future. Also to add, I did like someone and I threw caution to the wind and tried. It ended horribly. Why I tried getting to know them first. Link to post Share on other sites
redleader Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Never, ever, have a serious conversation over SMS, instant message, or email. All of the context is lost in these mediums. Do these things face to face where you can feel and look at the person you are directing it to. Without that messages can take on more than one meaning, and leave you high and dry because you said something the other person took the wrong way. Plus it is very impersonal and you will look like a coward for not facing them in the real world. If you want to actually talk to a woman, then actually do it. Don't be a coward and hide behind technology to do so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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