Author TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 I will simply briefly tell you how it went with me. I spent the best part of 40 years entrenched deeply in Roman Catholicism. I'm part of a huge Italian family, I was christened a catholic, had Holy communion, Confirmation, was educated at a Catholic convent boarding school, and married my husband in a Catholic church during a Nuptial Mass. My daughters were both christened Catholics, educated in catholic schools and both had their First Holy Communion, my eldest progressing to Confirmation. I attended Church regularly and became a parent Governor at their catholic primary school. THAT'S how deeply 'committed' I was. Then, one day, out of the blue (as I recall) my R.Catholic mother sent me a book she thought I would find interesting... "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche. I began to read it. it's a weighty tome, nearly two inches thick (or at least, my original copy was....) and I couldn't put it down. I felt as if it had been sitting on a bookshelf, waiting for me to get hold of it. It had been written exclusively for me. I began to highlight the passages which resonated with me, in fluorescent yellow marker - and soon gave up. There was more yellow than not.... Virtually overnight, I simply switched paths. it was as simple as that. You can also read Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now". Not Eastern Philosophy distinctly, but it draws form such teachings in profound and distinct ways. The Lama Surya Das Awaken trilogy is a readable, anecdotal often amusing trio of books introducing readers to the basic fundamental premise of Buddhism. (Awakening The Buddha within, Awakening to the sacred, Awakening the Buddhist heart.) The Tao Te Ching is a deeply philosophical Chinese tome, and touches on similar though subtly different factors to Buddhism.... If you seek "self-help" books, you could do a lot worse than "City Dharma" by Arthur Jeon - how to apply ancient philosophy to ultra-modern urban life... "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav is most impressive, to my way of thinking.... Or Pema Chodron's "The places that Scare you" - a Tibetan Buddhist nun's take on facing your fears in a more compassionate way. Hopefully, this has helped. Please note, I am not intending to proselytise at all. But this is literature I am directly familiar with. You asked, I merely responded. Hope that's ok. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Exactly what I wanted... I will take a look at some of these titles as I will be at the library tomorrow anyway... Thanks very much Oh, BTW - I was brought up Catholic as well, but drifted away in my early teens, (now early 40's) so I get what you are saying. I've always thought the Eastern way of life spoke to me more. Tried a couple of books, years ago, but couldn't get into them. Now, with this BU, think it's time to give it another shot. Link to post Share on other sites
dougmccoy Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 hi! im just new here. and after reading this post i feel like this community seems to be pretty rad. im smiling right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 It is. And you're welcome! You'll further find I'm the raddest, baddest, maddest tell-it-like-it-is bitch you'll ever have the misfortune - or good luck - to meet!! Nice to meet you! Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 You'll further find I'm the raddest, baddest, maddest tell-it-like-it-is bitch you'll ever have the misfortune - or good luck - to meet!! I can 100% vouch for this Link to post Share on other sites
drpepper1886 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 a couple sites I read daily. zenhabits Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) Great post . . . something else I find helpful is teaching myself a new skill or new information from a subject that I find interesting. it expands the number of people you can talk to, either people who are already entrenched in it, or others who find it interesting and want to learn along with you/from you. It also makes me feel happy when I become smarter about something. Edited April 1, 2013 by SpiralOut 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 I wish I had found this sooner, this is great! I'm going to try to incorporate some of these Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 In spite of my often harsh approach, and shoot-from-the-hip policy, I'm actually a very placid person, and I find great comfort and advantage in focussing on the positive. IRL, I tend to be more circumspect about such blunt approaches, because it's harder to be in-your-face with people in front of you, whose distress you can see and palpably feel. it also puts me within striking distance and I value my teeth. So I'm very positive, upbeat and cheerful - and I put most of this down to 'mind-training'. If you steer your mind in a particular direction, after a while, it is inclined and disposed to go that way of its own free will.... And that's fun. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BlackGoaty Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 (edited) Taramaiden, I really love your postings and I do learn alot from it. I am somewhat like you on the thoughts and I am into buddhism. Buddhism to me is not a religion. It is about life and life's philosophies and how you apply it as a way of life. Its all about the mind and the state of being. Sometimes I do get "lost" and fuzzied by all the teachings. I think I need a teacher. Generally, I am a positive person but there are the melancholic times when it seems you cannot get out of it. When times get you down, how do you get out of the funk? Do you meditate? Do you practice self-awareness? What is the outlet that you use to focus and pay attention to just one thing at a time? I am a self professed OCD (obsessive with cleaning/cleanliness + skin picking) where I ruminate my thoughts and get obsessive over the same thought over and over again. Talk about being focused! Edited May 2, 2013 by BlackGoaty Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Taramaiden, I really love your postings and I do learn alot from it. I am somewhat like you on the thoughts and I am into buddhism. Buddhism to me is not a religion. It is about life and life's philosophies and how you apply it as a way of life. Its all about the mind and the state of being. Buddhism is BOTH a philosophy AND a religion - hence the temples, monks, nuns, lamas and ordination....but it is a philosophy insofar as, instead of connecting with an unseen something 'out there', Buddhism brings it inwardly and focuses on what's going on, 'in here'.... Sometimes I do get "lost" and fuzzied by all the teachings. I think I need a teacher. Google local temples, Buddhist centres, organisations... tell me what you find... and be selective and choosy. Don't opt for the first apple, simply because it happens to be on the lowest branch..... Generally, I am a positive person but there are the melancholic times when it seems you cannot get out of it. When times get you down, how do you get out of the funk? Do you meditate? Do you practice self-awareness? What is the outlet that you use to focus and pay attention to just one thing at a time? Sit with it. Accept it. REspect it. Understand that it's a simple process you're going through. It's a temporary experience, right? So it will come to an end - as it always has done previously. Honour it, but don't 'feed' it. Here's something you could also do: Label it - give it a sense-name.... and greet it. Agree to its visit.... "Oh, hello, 'Frustration' my old friend.... you have come calling again, have you? Tell me, what do you want of me now....? I can't give you much time, I have 'Enjoyment' coming round in a while. let's say..... 20 minutes?" And clock-watch. Give yourself 20 minutes to indulge 'Frustration'. See where it comes from, and why it's there. Tackle the reason, and the source. If nothing comes up, then let it ride - but once those 20 minutes are up, put on some favourite, upbeat, jolly music, and dance. Or get up and make yourself a coffee, and sing or whistle, while you do..... Or find someone you know, and pay them a compliment. Show it the door. It's had its 20 minutes - time's up. You no longer need to give it head room. It has no right to stay any longer.... I am a self professed OCD (obsessive with cleaning/cleanliness + skin picking) where I ruminate my thoughts and get obsessive over the same thought over and over again. Talk about being focused! Buy a string of mala beads. (Long malas usually have 108 beads - smaller ones always have beads in multiples of 9. (Bracelet malas, usually have 27 or 36 beads, depending on the size of your wrist!) recite the Blue medicine Buddha mantra, (version 1) or the Tara mantra. These Buddhas are prevalent in the Mahayana tradition. They are 'Buddhas' who personify or represent particular qualities and attributes we ourselves would like to develop and perfect in ourselves. The Blue Medicine Buddha is about caring for ourselves, being good to ourselves and healing our minds and hearts - as well as taking care of our physical frame; Tara is a Buddha of infinite compassion and general loving kindness - again, sentiments we should hold for ourselves. Talk to them through recitation. Do this 2 x 108 times. (once round the mala, then back again. if you have a mala with fewer beads - you're going to need to do several 'back and forth' circuits!) If this doesn't appeal, then we'll have to have a re-think!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BlackGoaty Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Thanks Taramaiden for the guidance. The part on the mala beads sounds good but the chanting part however do not appeal to me and I don't want to be acting like a crazy in public places chanting under my breath when I have the compulsion to start picking my skin or ruminating on certain thoughts. I am working on my meditation technique. It have for years brought me alot of calm, peace and clarity but recently the life changes could have proven a little too overwhelming and i was unable to meditate properly and consistently. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 Oh god, no - don't do it in public! Even I would avoid you if you did that - unless of course you were bald, and wearing saffron robes!! (I will say this though.... our heads are full of crazy, random meandering and rambling thoughts.... if we were all actually compelled to put them into words - we'd all be classified as stir-crazy.... That 'nutcase on the bus' who talks incessantly - you know, the guy we pray will not sit next to us!? - he's merely verbalising his thoughts. In our minds, that's what we're all like....isn't it....?) There are as many ways to meditate as there are people.... meditation isn't all about sitting cross-legged with our eyes closed, and all that schmoley.... There are other ways to meditate..... and some suit some folks, and other ways suit others..... If you would like further input, just ask. I'm not into shoving my ideas down other peoples' throats.....:o 3 Link to post Share on other sites
steveT95 Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Taramaiden - I would like to know more about the meditation/buhdism stuff. Shove that idea down my throat I'm interested in it as a philosophy not a religion and always tend to turn to it when in distress. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 .......(I will say this though.... our heads are full of crazy, random meandering and rambling thoughts.... if we were all actually compelled to put them into words - we'd all be classified as stir-crazy.... That 'nutcase on the bus' who talks incessantly - you know, the guy we pray will not sit next to us!? - he's merely verbalising his thoughts. In our minds, that's what we're all like....isn't it....?) Case in point: I honestly just found this at random - !! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BlackGoaty Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 There are as many ways to meditate as there are people.... meditation isn't all about sitting cross-legged with our eyes closed, and all that schmoley.... There are other ways to meditate..... and some suit some folks, and other ways suit others..... If you would like further input, just ask. I'm not into shoving my ideas down other peoples' throats.....:o I would like if you can give me further input on meditation techniques. I am joining some meditation group via Meetup but will only be able to do so some time late May as I will be out travelling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) I can't PM you - even though you've been here since '05, you need to get your post count to over 100..... Meditation techniques are many and varied, and different ways work for different people.... A wonderful Vietnamese monk, (Thich Nhat Hanh - known to most as TNH... you can even google him that way!) has some very good books on different meditation methods.... "Present Moment, Wonderful Moment", "The Miracle of Mindfulness" and "Taming the Tiger Within" to name but three. I have read the first two, but not the third.... I found many things in those two books, to help me choose the best ways for me.... Walking Meditation, 'look don't say', and 'washing up meditation' (!) are three I practise regularly.... Shall I elaborate....? Edited May 5, 2013 by TaraMaiden Link to post Share on other sites
BlackGoaty Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Ahhhhh I know TNH, i have all those 3 books. I have to re-read them all over again though. I wanted to attend his meditation retreat in Plum Village but I wasnt ready for a 21 day retreat as it would take up all my vacation leave. Yes please do elaboration if you don't mind. I will try to hit my count up to over 100! Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 :Walking Meditation: Go to a park, or an open space, and set yourself a tact of ground to walk on. As you walk, take your concentration all the way down to your feet. Focus only on every sensation your feet feel. Look at the ground, walk maybe 15 steps - but remain conscious, the whole time, ONLY on how your feet are feeling. Focus on nothing else. This is great on a sandy beach..... :Look don't say: Sit on a park bench. Observe everything going on around you. Witness every other person, see what they're doing, witness vehicles in the distance, the trees, the flowers, the grass.... everything. Only - don't have a running commentary in your head. Don't think "Oh, there's a little girl, skipping"... Just see a little girl skipping. Don't think "There's an air-plane in the sky"... just see the air-plane in the sky. See - without thought. Just look - without thinking in words. :Washing up meditation: Similar to the above. Do your washing up in the sink, but don't let your mind wander. Observe the water, the suds, the utensil, vessel or dish. See how it becomes clean under your hand, as you use a sponge or cloth - but don't be thinking words to go with it. Just do it. It's simple. (But 'simple' doesn't mean 'easy'.) Link to post Share on other sites
BlackGoaty Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 :Walking Meditation: Go to a park, or an open space, and set yourself a tact of ground to walk on. As you walk, take your concentration all the way down to your feet. Focus only on every sensation your feet feel. Look at the ground, walk maybe 15 steps - but remain conscious, the whole time, ONLY on how your feet are feeling. Focus on nothing else. This is great on a sandy beach..... Focus on nothing else, means trying to clear my mind? Like empty it? Just concentrate on the feel of my feet? How long should this walk in order to be effective? :Look don't say: Sit on a park bench. Observe everything going on around you. Witness every other person, see what they're doing, witness vehicles in the distance, the trees, the flowers, the grass.... everything. Only - don't have a running commentary in your head. Don't think "Oh, there's a little girl, skipping"... Just see a little girl skipping. Don't think "There's an air-plane in the sky"... just see the air-plane in the sky. See - without thought. Just look - without thinking in words. Is there a difference in the state of mind, where I am just walking and looking at people when I am in a total blurried/lost state of mind somehow the mind seems blank kind of state? :Washing up meditation: Similar to the above. Do your washing up in the sink, but don't let your mind wander. Observe the water, the suds, the utensil, vessel or dish. See how it becomes clean under your hand, as you use a sponge or cloth - but don't be thinking words to go with it. Just do it. It's simple. (But 'simple' doesn't mean 'easy'.) It is simple but working in a city where everything is fast paced, it really hinders. Everyday I have to remind myself to WALK slower, NO hurry. Eat slower, NO hurry, little stuff like that adds up to ones' stress. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 Focus on nothing else, means trying to clear my mind? Like empty it? Just concentrate on the feel of my feet? How long should this walk in order to be effective? It's not a question of emptying your mind, it's a question of shifting your focus. Bring your Mind to concentration - and don't worry if it wanders. Simply stop. close your eyes, breathe, and bring yourself back to 'your centre'.... You make the walk - in fact, any meditation - as long as is comfortable for you. Give yourself 5 minutes. it doesn't sound long, but it's a question of perspective: quality, not quantity. Aim to increase your time, though.... One Monk at a monastery I used to frequent, could do this for an hour or more..... Is there a difference in the state of mind, where I am just walking and looking at people when I am in a total blurried/lost state of mind somehow the mind seems blank kind of state? I don't understand your question.... It is simple but working in a city where everything is fast paced, it really hinders. Everyday I have to remind myself to WALK slower, NO hurry. Eat slower, NO hurry, little stuff like that adds up to ones' stress. Don't make excuses and place hindrances for yourself before you've even begun. This is a discipline. It takes practice. I work in a city, I work in the hustle and bustle, I have time fixtures. And so have thousands of other Buddhists/Meditation enthusiasts. What makes you different...? Objections. YOU add to your stress. Life doesn't. Life happens, whether you stress about it or not. Focus. Concentrate. Even if you 'meditate' for just one minute at a time, every hour, you will have done something. You can focus and meditate wherever you are. On the tube, in a lift, in a check-out queue.... pick a place/time/situation, any place/time/situation. A very good friend of mine had a dreadful car accident. She was trapped in the car, had dreadful pains in her back, leg and chest.... someone reassured her that the services were on their way. While she waited - she meditated. She opened her eyes and merely 'saw' everything happening around her. Later, one of the paramedics told her, in the ambulance, that he had never rescued anyone so calm, so unworried and so 'level' in his life. All her vital signs were close to normal; something he had never seen, in someone with whiplash, seatbelt injuries and a broken tibia.... Link to post Share on other sites
cinta_satu Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 If you have 20 min to spare please check this TED Talk on Happiness. It really helped me. Dan Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness | Video on TED.com Link to post Share on other sites
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