OW needs MORE help!!

[dbee]

Hi everyone..you have been a help in past about my situation so I am here for more advice..

 

I am ow who has been in a rela. for 5 years with MM..He is finally getting a divorce, not for me..i have never pushed the issue. He has moved into his own home, the papers are going fine and we seem to be at odds.

 

First off, we have always been best friends. Even B4 we got together. We have have never really fought, he has never spoken to me unappropratley and we have been thru some rocky periods, but always come thru. But, now it seems that he is shutting me out. He is nice one min. mean next. Returns phone calls better then he ever has, but has these "FREAK OUT" periods that he just seems to hate everyone. I want to help but he says, " I just need to get my **** figured out then we can go from there..

 

This is the first time he has been on his own. He's 34 left home-at 18 to go to college, lived in frat, got married right after and has lived with her ever since. So, I can understand maybe he wants space. When I ask about us, he has said, I want to treat you better than I have in past, but right now I cant so please be patient. I want to try to work it out, but i just want a little input, as I dont really know anyone who has been divorced to ask about there emotional roller coaster!! Thanks guys!!

[supermom]

Divorce sucks no matter what.

 

If this is the first time you've seen this side of him, then you're probably seeing the side his wife has seen for along time.

 

I've read some posts where it has been said that the OW always sees the good side, and it's the wife that sees all sides.

 

Now that he is actually getting a divorce, are there plans of you two getting together?

 

Remember, this is one of his sides, can you deal with this for many more years to come? Also do you think he'd be a faithful bf/H to you?

 

If not, then consider this a lucky message (you seeing this side) and move on for your sake.

 

Good luck

[Taken_Angel]

I would like to know also...since he is getting a divorce has HE stated now you two can be together exclusive??

 

Do you have hopes of living with him, becoming his life long partner?

 

Do you think he will want space to date other people, new people?

 

The reason I ask this is because I could see this being the case (I don't know either of you but in general I'm speaking).

 

You should ask him carefully w/out seeming like you're expecting too much, after all you said it yourself you haven't pushed for him to be with just you so I'm wondering if now you expect it will be this way or if you realize you may always play second fiddle to another woman.