amerikajin Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 When I came on here about ten months ago, I had a problem. I couldn't get any of the girls I wanted. I was in a long slump. I was either not dating, or dating girls who were a pain in the ass. Now I've got a different problem. I've got too many women. I just recently started dating a Japanese girl from work (she works in a different department). Meanwhile, I've two or three other girls I've been kind of scoping, all of whom seem to have some interest in me. But then there's this awesome Chinese girl I've recently started to talk to. She's a 27-y.o. hot-body. Lots of guys talk to her, but she's actually approaching me. Damn I'm good. Anyway, I got her e-mail but haven't sent her anything yet. I've got mixed feelings about everything. About my new girl and about the other prospects. I certainly don't believe in dating two women at once, but I'd be lying if I hadn't though about dumping my current one and jumping to the other if the interest is there. How does someone decide that they're going to be commitment oriented? How does someone know when the girl they're seeing is worth sticking with? By the way, I love getting laid. I had almost forgotten what it was like. Sorry for the obnoxious post. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Tough spot to be in (not!)…but I think it all depends on what the definition of "dating" is to you. For me; I had no problem "dating" more than one person at once, but I wouldn't have sex with more than one partner at a time. This required getting to know someone REAL WELL first and having reached a "mutual" agreement that the relationship was monogamous. Serial monogamy I suppose?? I imagine if "dating" to you (and your girl) means "exclusivity"…it might present a problem. It's likely that she'll have her feelings hurt, but I think she would respect knowing in advance if you are intending to have sex with multiple partners. Particularly if she is already under the assumption that she is the only one. I think, at very least, every person has the right to choose for themselves whether to remain in relationship where the dynamics have changed; adjust to the new terms; or to cut their losses and remove themselves gracefully. (But that's just me.) May not be pretty…and you may not come out of this smelling like roses…but how many of us haven't had to play "the bad guy" when having to come clean with our feelings. I always figured, it was better to brace yourself for the b*tch-slap to the ego than string someone along indefinitely just to spare their feelings or hold off the unpleasant deed for another day. Honesty is not for cowards. It stings…I know, but eventually you're going to have to rip that Band-Aid off, anyway. Tried flipping a coin? Link to post Share on other sites
Author amerikajin Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 Ahhh...now I can better appreciate my wine-induced prose. Anyway, thanks for the response enigma. I have thought that I should tell her about backing off or slowing down a bit, but there are cultural differences that can make things like dating around a little more difficult. In my experience, it just seems like it's the women who decide when a relationship is over and on what terms she's going to have a relationship. Men just kind of agree to whatever the woman wants just to avoid her wraith - Japanese women can be notoriously vindictive if they feel slighted in some way (I don't want to wake up one night and find her sawing off my package). Maybe I'll just stick to one after all. Link to post Share on other sites
moonbeam Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Amerikajin. I just read your post and I'm curious about how things are with your dates? Did you dump the one you had and go after the girl you like better? I somehow hope you did. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 I'm very interested in how you adapted to Japanese society, that is a story worth telling, I'm sure. Can you speak the language? Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 It seems you are falling for the Far East................................. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 It's the land of the "rising son" Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 In fact everything there is rising. Link to post Share on other sites
moonbeam Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Amerikajin is certainly rising to the occasion (sorry - couldn't resist) Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 What is that occasion ? Falling for the East ? Link to post Share on other sites
moonbeam Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Yes, don't you think? And they are so many! And so pretty! what is a poor Amerikajin to do? lol. Seriously though, Id like to know how things are going. Link to post Share on other sites
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