Why is suicide always seen as wrong?

[HeavenOrHell]

Maybe some of them *have* been there but they had enough support, family, friends, willpower, or whatever it took to get them out of it. Some depression is temporary and gets better if the person is able to change the situation they are in or get the help they need to pull through, but not everyone can change their situation, many situations in life are down to luck.

 

I doubt many people who say it's cowardly/selfish have been there though because if they truly had they would understand what it's like to be in that situation and not get the help (or whatever it takes) to turn things around.

 

 

It comes down to this....

 

People who say committing suicide is selfish and cowardly, have no clue how it is, they have never been there, **** like that is easy to say and until they have been on the edge, STFU and get out of my face.

 

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[HeavenOrHell]

I'm an Atheist, so as far as I'm concerned this is irrelevant.

 

Suicide is wrong because it hurts those who care about you. On a spiritual level, it is wrong because your life is a gift from God to use wisely and honorably. To trash that gift is an insult to God, and forever takes away the potential for good that your life could become.

[HeavenOrHell]

What about those of us who have asked again and again for help but don't get it. You were lucky you asked for help and got it.

 

 

 

No I wasn't thinking about it at all. Just the act itself. And how much I wanted to die.

 

I knew it wasn't normal to think that so I got help.

[amaysngrace]

I'm an Atheist, so as far as I'm concerned this is irrelevant.

 

Actually your lack of faith may be a lot more relevant than you think.

[HeavenOrHell]

I knew someone would say that! I was brought up Baptist and knew from an early age it meant nothing to me, there are some religions like Pagansim and Buddhism which I've got involved with to some extent and looked at other faiths, but nothing rings to true to me at all, I find too much of it nonsense and evangelical, I can't make myself believe in something I think is nonsense.

There are other ways to be happy in life other than religion, just not sure if those things are enough for me.

We shouldn't have to believe in a non existent deity or an afterlife to make us happy.

 

 

Actually your lack of faith may be a lot more relevant than you think.

[amaysngrace]

I knew someone would say that! I was brought up Baptist and knew from an early age it meant nothing to me, there are some religions like Pagansim and Buddhism which I've got involved with to some extent and looked at other faiths, but nothing rings to true to me at all, I find too much of it nonsense and evangelical, I can't make myself believe in something I think is nonsense.

There are other ways to be happy in life other than religion, just not sure if those things are enough for me.

We shouldn't have to believe in a non existent deity or an afterlife to make us happy.

 

Suicide is higher among atheists than believers. That's all I was saying.

 

I'm Catholic and I was taught it is the ONLY sin that cannot be forgiven because you're not truly sorry.

 

I wasn't a practicing Catholic at the times these thoughts crept in, obviously, and I wasn't really remembering what I had been taught about it either. But I somehow had it in the back of my mind and I'm glad I did since it was filled with a bunch of other junk at the time.

[ThaWholigan]

Sorry I got angry, it's a subject close to my heart.

 

I think it's quite odd to *not* get depressed in this society, especially if a person is compassionate and caring.

Consider me odd then

 

I try not to get upset about the topic of suicide because I am against it myself, but I understand that it's never a good idea to guilt somebody who is feeling suicidal into feeling stupid for wanting to kill themselves. That doesn't mean I think they should though.

[BehindBlueEyes]

 

I doubt many people who say it's cowardly/selfish have been there though because if they truly had they would understand what it's like to be in that situation and not get the help (or whatever it takes) to turn things around.

 

Yepp.............

[BehindBlueEyes]

 

I'm Catholic and I was taught it is the ONLY sin that cannot be forgiven because you're not truly sorry.

 

 

People who are THAT down and out in life get screwed by life then if they want to exit life their still screwed, because it's an unforgivable sin and you won't be accepted in Heaven lol.

Seems if God were truly gracious he'd have great compassion for people who prefer not to be in the mortal world due to the pressures of it.

[amaysngrace]

Anyone is free to do whatever they'd like with their life.

 

Same way that anybody can see it as a weak and/or selfish act. Being a victim is a choice the very same way that being a survivor is.

 

Sure nobody chooses to be victimized but once you are grown and able, if you choose not to get help to get better then that's your choice too.

 

Maybe this is where Darwin's rule of survival plays into it.

[LittleTiger]

Joining the 'party' very late here but for those who think suicide is 'wrong', just imagine the following:

 

"You are being held captive against your will and are being tortured beyond a pain that you can endure. You 'know' that you will never escape and the pain will continue until your death."

 

This is what suicidal depression feels like. Is it selfish to want that kind of pain to stop? Surely it is more selfish to want someone you love to continue with unbearable suffering - just so that you don't suffer when they die!

 

For those of you who are thinking about replying that emotional pain is not as bad as physical pain, all I will say is - you clearly have never been there!

 

For those who have been suicidal and 'escaped', thank your lucky stars that you never reached the point of no return - because the fact that you are here today means you haven't been there either.

 

People commit suicide only when they believe they have no other option and, for anyone who thinks it is a selfish act - those who are left behind, no matter how much pain, grief or guilt they suffer because of the death of their loved one, will never suffer as much as a person who took their own life. The very fact that they could no longer bear to live is proof of the enormity of their pain.

[Ross MwcFan]

 

Suicide is higher among atheists than believers. That's all I was saying.

 

I'm Catholic and I was taught it is the ONLY sin that cannot be forgiven because you're not truly sorry.

 

I wasn't a practicing Catholic at the times these thoughts crept in, obviously, and I wasn't really remembering what I had been taught about it either. But I somehow had it in the back of my mind and I'm glad I did since it was filled with a bunch of other junk at the time.

 

That may only be because they're scared of being sent to hell/punished by their 'caring' god.

[HeavenOrHell]

I'm pretty sure it's only because people who believe in god are too fearful to kill themselves because they think they'll go to 'hell'. They're taught that taking their life is a sin and they'll be punished, or stuck in some afterlife in limbo, Atheists don't have that fear of being punished.

I find it quite awful that feeling so desperately depressed about your life to the point of wanting to end it is seen as a sin by many religions, that's about as lacking in compassion as it's possible to get. Just awful.

 

 

 

Suicide is higher among atheists than believers. That's all I was saying.

 

I'm Catholic and I was taught it is the ONLY sin that cannot be forgiven because you're not truly sorry.

 

I wasn't a practicing Catholic at the times these thoughts crept in, obviously, and I wasn't really remembering what I had been taught about it either. But I somehow had it in the back of my mind and I'm glad I did since it was filled with a bunch of other junk at the time.

[Ross MwcFan]

I'm pretty sure it's only because people who believe in god are too fearful to kill themselves because they think they'll go to 'hell'. They're taught that taking their life is a sin and they'll be punished, or stuck in some afterlife in limbo, Atheists don't have that fear of being punished.

I find it quite awful that feeling so desperately depressed about your life to the point of wanting to end it is seen as a sin by many religions, that's about as lacking in compassion as it's possible to get. Just awful.

 

Well said HeavenOrHell, I totally agree.

[HeavenOrHell]

Some of us ask for help over and over and don't get it, then what?

Some get help after they ask for it but it makes no difference.

 

Some people are more free to do whatever they like in life than others, because all our circumstances are different, so are our personalities, some people don't have as good coping mechanisms as other people, some people have better support systems than others.

 

 

Anyone is free to do whatever they'd like with their life.

 

Same way that anybody can see it as a weak and/or selfish act. Being a victim is a choice the very same way that being a survivor is.

 

Sure nobody chooses to be victimized but once you are grown and able, if you choose not to get help to get better then that's your choice too.

 

Maybe this is where Darwin's rule of survival plays into it.

[todreaminblue]

That may only be because they're scared of being sent to hell/punished by their 'caring' god.

 

 

No I believe in god, it wasn't that I was scared of hell, I have lived enough pain and suffering to know what hell feels like.I believe god helps me out when things get bad for me, i dotn blame god for my circumstances, thats all people related they have agency to do what they have done to me....good and bad...I have had agency to make my own choices the same good and bad.I am responsible..My faith is that I am here and was put here in exactly the life

 

 

I was supposed to have exactly the same purpose whatever that is,it is all for a reason,God wants me to be here, he helps in ways I dont see coming, he pull me through really rough spots, I always seem to meet someone who is a turning point in my life, when things get rough and that is not blind faith.It is fact and I know it, because when it truly gets rough, i go internal, and no one knows but god what i am thinking about and something or someone keeps me here and they normally rock up on my door for me to help them or for them to help me..lol God is truyl awesome.....and that's pure fact...deb

[BehindBlueEyes]

Just imagine a person that is so down that they actually do it.....think about it. They sit there in the dark and pull the trigger, drink the Clorox, jump off the stool, take the jar of pills, sit in a car with exhaust going.....

 

They're beyond reason, wanting help, thinking something will help, the thought of finally making the decision actually makes them feel content and calm, no one knows they're going to do it, they say nothing about it, they write a letter to their mom, dad, sister, friends that it was not their fault.....then they do it.

 

I will forever say screw you to people who think it is a cowardly act or selfish....you have no idea! never will! and please stop thinking you do!

[SpiralOut]

Just imagine a person that is so down that they actually do it.....think about it. They sit there in the dark and pull the trigger, drink the Clorox, jump off the stool, take the jar of pills, sit in a car with exhaust going.....

 

They're beyond reason, wanting help, thinking something will help, the thought of finally making the decision actually makes them feel content and calm, no one knows they're going to do it, they say nothing about it, they write a letter to their mom, dad, sister, friends that it was not their fault.....then they do it.

 

I will forever say screw you to people who think it is a cowardly act or selfish....you have no idea! never will! and please stop thinking you do!

 

Maybe instead of trying to change how people think, there needs to be more education on how to talk about the subject. As in, how to be more sensitive towards depressed/suicidal people regardless of what actual opinion someone holds. There should be a list of things to not say.

[BehindBlueEyes]

Maybe instead of trying to change how people think, there needs to be more education on how to talk about the subject. As in, how to be more sensitive towards depressed/suicidal people regardless of what actual opinion someone holds. There should be a list of things to not say.

 

Agreed....

[BehindBlueEyes]

I copied this from Christina Symanski's blog "life paralyzed" This is her last blog entry thanking everyone who has helped her in life. Christina decided to leave this life, due to being unable to cope with being a total quadplegic after snapping her neck in a diving accident. She was 32 when she passed away from self starvation under care from Hospice and her family by her side in 2011. Her mom told her, quote. "I was there when you were born and I'll be there when you leave" in her support of her daughter's decision. How dare anyone even attempt to call her decision cowardly and selfish, how dare they.

 

From Christina Symanskis blog "life paralyzed"

 

"A message to my friends"

 

"I'd like to take this opportunity to address all of my friends (hopefully my family already knows how much I appreciate & love them). I have been so blessed, to have so many wonderful, supportive people in the life. Unlike so many other people I witnessed (during my time living in the nursing facility) in similar situations, my friends have been there for me from day one of my injury and have stayed by my side throughout my struggles; during good and bad times. My friends have amazed me; always going the extra mile. I'm so thankful to have had such a large group of people that have rallied to help me, spent time with me, lent their shoulders to cry on and continually took an interest in my life and offered me love and support.

 

Thank you so much for being there for me, and helping to motivate me, inspire me and for giving me the strength to endure living with paralysis for as long as I have. I would not have accomplished half of what I've been able to do since my accident, if it was not for the extra support of my friends. I wish I could've endured this life a bit longer, but I am thoroughly exhausted (mentally & physically). Just know that I have appreciated every single visit, every word of encouragement and the generosity that you have all shown me.

 

Please know that my decision to leave this life behind was not made rashly, or without careful consideration and concern for the people I'm leaving behind. I have been fighting an uphill battle to live, every day since my accident. A big part of my died back on June 5, 2005 and my life was never the same. Everything has felt empty, and bittersweet. Every memory tainted with sadness, over everything that I've lost, everything I miss doing, and everything I had planned to do, and hoped to be.

 

My paralysis robbed me of the most basic human necessities (freedom, privacy, independence, and physical intimacy). It has been tremendously difficult, being forced into accepting help; needing to be washed, clothed and fed like an infant. I have had to endure horrible treatments and artificial, unnatural means of life support (through medicine, catheters & bowel program). My body is exhausted and most days I'm sick, uncomfortable (chills, cold sweats, fevers) and in pain (chest pains & nerve pain). I did my best, to seek out doctors, specialists, therapists and tried countless medications and treatments. Unfortunately, there is no cure for me. There aren't many options or relief. Life itself has become torture. I have felt like a prisoner within my own body. I'm tired of suffering. I'm tired of fighting to live, only be sick and miserable. This is not a quality life for me.

 

I never wanted to disappoint, or hurt my loved ones, but I have reached my limit. I have tried my hardest for six long, painful years and now I just want to rest in peace. I hope my book will help people understand me better, and open people's eyes and minds to what things matter most in life. I hope it helps to broaden people's perceptions on right to die issues and the importance of quality of life. I leave this life with the comfort of knowing I will be surrounded by those closest to me. I leave behind my friends and family with a heavy heart, but feel I'm ready to embrace death and hopefully move on to a better, peaceful place. I hope my book can bring comfort and closure to those closest to me & serve to continue to help others once I'm gone.

 

Again, thank you all for your love, support & friendship.

Love always, Christina

 

The blog: Life; Paralyzed: Message to My Friends

[Pyro]

Maybe instead of trying to change how people think, there needs to be more education on how to talk about the subject. As in, how to be more sensitive towards depressed/suicidal people regardless of what actual opinion someone holds. There should be a list of things to not say.

 

I am all for more education on how to talk about the subject of suicide, as long as there is more education on how to avoid suicide.....education on how to help ones self.

[HeavenOrHell]

For my mother yes, she wouldn't cope if I did it, she did the same thing for me years ago, her depression improved with drugs and because her situation changed for the better.

And because I spend most of my time doing voluntary work for others, which isn't easy feeling the way I do, constant battle to make myself do it and find the energy to do it, but hard as it is it does keep me going.

 

 

If you can't find a reason to live for yourself, can you find a reason to live for others ?

[HeavenOrHell]

Sorry, to disagree but I often hear how kids are adaptable and how they bounce back, this isn't true, so many adults carry the problems they had as kids, childhood affects us forever, whether it was good or bad. Our personalities, the way we relate to the world, the way we feel about ourselves, is shaped in our formative years.

 

 

If a child has been in treatment for all those years and hasn't been able to learn new ways to view things, it shows how flawed our mental healthcare system is.

 

Children are pretty adaptable.

 

Of course they can't learn if they're being drugged to the point of drooling. Which is only more proof of how the system is broken.

[amaysngrace]

Sorry, to disagree but I often hear how kids are adaptable and how they bounce back, this isn't true, so many adults carry the problems they had as kids, childhood affects us forever, whether it was good or bad. Our personalities, the way we relate to the world, the way we feel about ourselves, is shaped in our formative years.

 

Been there, done it and rose above it.

 

And no it wasn't easy. But it was definitely worth it.

 

So feel free to disagree with me all you want, but from my experience it is never too late to get to a place better than you're at. Except if you kill yourself. Then it's game over.

 

[lino]

I've not much experience with this subject other than having a friend who committed suicide in 2005 at age 23.

 

He hung himself and no one saw it coming... There were no obvious signs of mass suffering on his part.

 

Other than me and 2 other guys, he didn't really have any friends though and he'd never had any involvement with a girl as far as I know.

 

In 2004 a family friend of mine died of cancer in his 20s and he was suicidal for the last 6 months of his life after all the harsh chemo he went through.

 

Even though I don't 'get' suicide, not having ever been at rock bottom myself, I'd still never put sh*t on someone contemplating or eventually going through with it.

 

I'd certainly never call them cowards or selfish people... That's rude/insensitive at best and I'd say even down right c*ntish.

 

People contemplating or eventually even doing the deed must literally be at the end of their rope to take such actions, have some f*cken compassion!