NYGuy Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 Ok i need help. About 11 months ago (Dated for 18 moths proir) my girl broke up with me cause i was going through a very stressful time in my life(I wasnt giving her the affection she needed) I was heart broken but soo pissed off. I didnt talk to her for 2 weeks and she came back. I was so full of my pride i didnt take her back. She told me she loved me and this and that. Two weeks after that I realized that she was the one for me. In the meantime she started seeing someonce else So i try to see her and tell her that i made a horrible mistake.Now for the longest time i was trying to win her back by telling her that i love her and bringing up old memories. So she is the one who has kept contact with me till now. She has vented on me that she made a mistake and she wants us to betogether in the end. WTF the end?. I want it now. She says she working on getting back together but she cant break up with her BF. She calls me when there away far away to talk . WTF. I never thought i could love a women like that. I was a player before her and everything has changed. So I give her the NC for a while and she starts to txt me saying dont ignor me..... and hstuff like that. I still think of her everyhour of the day even though i have dated dozens of girls since than. Whats going on?> I need help. I want her more than anything? What 2 do? Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 You're both immature and playing emotional games. Unfortunately, you also both have real feelings involved and are hurting one another. Your ex has found a man who treats her well -- he's stable, good to her, a nice guy. He's not as dangerous and exciting or as sexy as you. So, she plays with the idea of getting back together with you. But, she doesn't trust you. She doesn't trust that you won't mistreat her (for sure) or perhaps also step out on her (possibly). She jerked you around before because she wanted to hurt you for treating her badly and also wanted you to pour out your heart to her about how much you loved her, wanted her, etc. She wanted you to treat her like a princess so she could take you back with her pride intact and yours diminished. Now that you've humbled yourself some, she's even more drawn to the possibility. Except, she imagines that once you're sure of her, you'll go back to your old ways and she'll have lost the kind of relationship she ultimately wants. She doesn't want to give up on the exciting possibility of being with you. But she's afraid of you at some deep emotional level. If you want her back, you're going to have to reassure her that you've changed. Doesn't sound to me like you have -- except in the one area of realizing your feelings for her are special. Your behavior, etc. hasn't matched that. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Huh.... If only I could be so lucky..... NYGuy... bottomline... GROW UP! (I say that with the utmost sincerity). I understand how/why you want her and despite the fact that there have been 890237432098 others since her, you always seem to go back to her. I think it's probably because you started to go out with other way to early after the breakup with her... just a thought. My advice is for you to stop... think about it...... she's being immature and irresponsible and dishonest to you and her current BF... what does that equal, CRAZY! She's living her own version of Sex in the City... do you want to continue be a character in her show? No... nah nah.... If your a player, stay a player..... in time you'll realize that your better off like this. Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Well, for some men, serial dating works out okay long term. But for others, it becomes an empty round of just another one or two night stand. No home, no children, no family. Eventually, that begins to pall and appaul. You establish that you can get women's interest and body, but not keep it and develop it into a really emotionally intimate, satisfying relationship. A fifty-year old player is a sad and lonely creature at some level, even if he portrays himself as living it up on the outside. Even Hef got married for a time. -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
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