Touch_of_Naughtiness Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 I was talking with my sister about marriage yesterday and we have entirely different views of it. She thinks that when you fall in love you should get married. She says that that's a way of your bf showing respect and honoring you. I personally think it's just a piece of paper, you have respect for the person in your heart and soul. I feel that marriage is just an excuse to try to have someone tied down! My sis' says that when I find the one I will think differently, but I doubt it. A paper cannot ensure you or be proof of love in a relationship, that's something that can only be assured by you not a paper. What does marriage change? Do you love your partner more? What's the point of marriage if now a days you get married today and get a divorce tomorrow, if not quicker!!!!!!! What do you think? What does marriage mean to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Touch of Innocence Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 So I am the goody two shoes sister!!! I think that marriage is a sacred and beautiful thing It's a way of showing the respect that you share for one another. When you love someone you want to make the love even stronger. I think that when you marry it reminds you of the promise that you have made to one another and it does not let you do stupid things!!! If you are not married you can get up and leave for the smallest problem without looking back even once and that person could have been your soul mate, but if you are married it makes you try and think things thoroughly because that other person is not just your live-in bf/gf that person is your husband/wife, that stops you from not trying. Do I make sense? Marriage makes the bond stronger. Correct me if I'm wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I agree wholeheartedly with Touch of Innocence!! Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Oh boy, I think there is another thread on this somewhere. But Touch_of_Naughtyness has the conception of what I believe is the view of the majority of society now and days....it's sad. Marriage is definitley a bond. When two become one. A commitment to remain true to each other, grow together, learn together, make mistakes together.....I could go on and on..... Divorce is neccesary is some cases, but as for me and my wife, we are committed to each other for life. Marraige is also God's gift that He blesses the most fortunate with and shouldn't be taken as lightly as Touch_of_Naughtyness has come to believe. I think your sister is right. When you find the, "One", you will both come to a point in your life where you'll feel the urge to bond as closely to each other as you can. And the only way for that to come about is to marry. If you are one of the truly blessed, it will happen for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Taken_Angel Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I think that when you marry it reminds you of the promise that you have made to one another and it does not let you do stupid things!! I disagree...only a person (Not a marriage certificate) can make you make the choices that either keep together or end a relationship. If marriage was so helpful there wouldn't be so many women sleeping with Married Men nor would married me stray so much from their wives! It should be enough to ensure you stay true to the vows you take but realistically it doesn't happen! A paper cannot ensure you or be proof of love in a relationship, that's something that can only be assured by you not a paper. Exactly, wow for sisters (twin if i remember from a previous thread) and such different views....one is idealistic and the other is sadly reality! It would be wonderful if signing on the dotted line would ensure honesty, commitment, love, and respect, but if either of the people lack this in the first place the likelyhood of anything helping them obtaining it is not likely. To me marriage is something that should only be entered into if you're relationship is a healthy one, not too much jealousy, complete honesty (as much as possible), BOTH being 100% sure that they want this and the list goes on and on. I was married once (at 18 divorced at 20) biggest mistake I've ever made and from now on I know I'll not rush into things again! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I think your sister is right. When you find the, "One", you will both come to a point in your life where you'll feel the urge to bond as closely to each other as you can. And the only way for that to come about is to marry it's very hard to describe something that's mostly felt inside – there's a sort of faith factor involved in a mutually exclusive, legally committed relationship like marriage. Maybe the easiest way to describe it is that all those things you feel for a person take on a deeper meaning when you decide to marry someone. You rethink everything because it's not just you alone who is affected now, but you and the person you marry. and there's a difference going into a relationship knowing that you have the option to break up or end it, and going into a relationship knowing it bears so much weight/meaning that "compromise" isn't a bad word, but a way of learning to meld those two lives ... I feel that marriage is just an excuse to try to have someone tied down yeah, but when the bonds are made of a yielding velvety material, and not just some scratchy, harsh binding ropes .... Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Bond.......................... Tie that binds........................ Hmm...... I think marriage is a public declaration of ownership. It is a clear and recognized statement that two people have made a commitment to each other. It is an anchor point from which to hold on to in hard times and in good. It is a foundation to return to, or used a guidepost when venturing away. It is knowing that one belongs and is not floating alone -- thus the anchor in hard times. It is one definition of a relationship. It is esoteric. It is stability. It is closure. It is many different things and always changing - but returning to one point. A vow to each other. Whether that vow is adhered to or not, does not define the entire marriage. But it is the point to which we return--either to reinforce or break. It is a starting point. A finish line. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 It would be wonderful if signing on the dotted line would ensure honesty, commitment, love, and respect, but if either of the people lack this in the first place the likelyhood of anything helping them obtaining it is not likely. I think this is why people need to truly understand what a marriage really is. Our Church won't marry anyone without taking a, "Compatibilty test". But also, marriage is defined to the couple from a biblical sense, and the pastor makes the final decision if the two should get married or re consider. No marraige is going to guarentee honesty, commitment, love, respect......there are no perfect marraiges.....which keeps thing interesting in my opinion. I put faith in my wife that she will give me all those things. When she couldn't deliver, I was devestated. But, I lived and she learned....it's a matter of personal commitment and the willingness to accept your SO's faults. Link to post Share on other sites
Taken_Angel Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I agree that there is no way to be sure other than putting faith into the other person. One of these days I plan on re-marrying I've been with my BF for more than 2 years and despite the fact that he has asked me time and time again to please marry him I feel we should wait awhile longer, we have a good relationship now but I don't want to get married only to be burned again and go through a divorce. Also my reasoning is that his family can't come here from Mexico to see the wedding so until we save enough to go there and have a ceremony I would rather hold off I feel that marriage is sacred and didn't consider the whole picture when I agreed to marry my ex we had only been together a year and it didn't feel right but me being stubborn I thought it would work out. Needless to say my opinion has changed tremendously! Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Plus- there are other things that come from signing the line 1- I want the same last name as my husband and kids 2- If I'm hospitalizedl- I want the man I love to be able to see me 3- If I'm so ill- I'm on machines to stay alive- I want my husband to be my voice when he knows it's time for me to go That piece of paper allows your husband into your family legally- and there are times that does matter I love my BF so much I'd take out billboards to tell the world- putting it in writing on a little piece of paper is a small matter in the grand scheme of things Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touch_of_Naughtiness Posted August 19, 2004 Author Share Posted August 19, 2004 I know that a lot of people love the idea of getting married. I just think it's not necessary when you are truly in love. The marriage is not going to make it anymore stronger, only YOU can do that. You hold the power in making it last and making the bond real strong. Sometimes marriage just messes things up. You feel that now that person is your possession instead of your partner (not everyone). I know of a lot of couples that were together for a long time and once they got married it was over!!!!!!!!!! There is no way that marriage is going to assure you a stronger bond. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I really agree with what Hokey Religion's definition. I also think it's a great idea that some churches make their members go through pre-marriage counseling. I think marriage is a social and legal contract of guardianship, I also think that marriage is a way of announcing the signifigance of your spouse--they not only assist, but enhance the quality of your life, to the extent that you trust them implicitly with all practical matters. You consider them a representative, a counterpoint, and a learning experience of your personal views and goals. Is considered non perfect, and a continous process of discovery about the other person, and accepting differences. Many people either marry for some sort of chivalric, rigid ideal of love, think that marriage will be some sort of emotional/financial buffer from the struggles of daily living, or view marriage as something you are expected to do by society. One of my friends, two years after our college graduation, became engaged to a man she had been dating for less than a year. I asked her why she had decided to get married so suddenly, she said that marriage was something you did after you received your degree. Link to post Share on other sites
MarriageBed Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 Marriage is when one man and one woman leave their parents, cleave to each other, and become "one flesh". Unfortunately, many people in our society believe that marriage is a ceremony that takes place at a church or court house...or worse yet, they believe you have to have a piece of paper (marriage license) from the government. Marriage is more than a piece of paper issued by a government. The piece of paper issued by the government is purely for the government's purpose of deciding how its laws and taxes will apply to you. When a government (like the Soviet Union) dissolves, does that mean the marriages are no longer valid? Absolutely not! So clearly marriage is more than the actual paper document issued by the government. For thousands of years marriages were not considered complete (consumated) until a couple had sex ("became one flesh"). The ceremony whether in front of the church, outside, or at the court house is just an outward sign to other people of the couples intention to become one. It allows the families and friends to celebrate in the union of the couple. Marriage is the physical union of a man and a woman...plain and simple. What does love have to do with it? Love is more than an emotion and feeling. Love is an action we show to people and a choice we make. In every marriage, there will be days when one person does not show love to the other person, because of a selfish choice. Love is very important in a marriage, but it cannot be the basis for a marriage. There are still many people in some countries that practice arranged marriages, where two people come together and unite (but they do not necessarily love each other). Love is something you can learn and something you choose. A marriage without love will be miserable, but many people make that choice every day. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 Amen to that. Do you go to my Church by chance???? lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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