Why do I feel worse?

[na49]

Well I'm not going tomorrow but I'm probably going Wednesday with or without my friend. I was being nice and asked him if he wanted to come with me but I think I prefer going by myself considering how much I was able to do. I'll probably be going 3 days a week for starters. I was originally going to only do 2 but that's definitely not enough. When I do go, should I work on the same things I worked on today or different things?

[Chi townD]

You need to mix it up to allow the parts that you've worked time to heal. You should make it a point to at LEAST try to go 4-5 days a week. Ideal, 6 days.

 

If you worked shoulder arms and back, the next day is knocking it out on the treadmill or elipical. Then the next weight day should be legs and abs. Then the next, exercise bike or a swim. Then the next, back to bicepps triceps and shoulders. Then, the next...cardio.

 

Look, you don't have to be a gym rat and spend 3-4 hours a day at the gym. You can get a good workout in that will change your body within an hour....that's it. You can be done and in the shower in 40 minutes. Just 40 minutes of your entire day. You can spare a little time. No excuses.

[suladas]

If you're looking to drop some weight along with building muscle cardio is good, but if you don't need to loose any you don't need to do much cardio at all even 15 mins each session would be plenty. Doing to much just regular cardio limits you building muscle. I don't know much about lifting but I know each day you do different things 4-5 days a week is plenty. Also do weights before cardio.

 

Diet is incredibly important. I was going to the gym 5-6 days a week nearly an hour of cardio each time and I was barely loosing a pound a week. I then started tracking calories, only went to the gym 2 times in a week about 45 mins of cardio and I am seeing a lot better results.

[na49]

Ahh alright, I actually started with the treadmill today. I guess I'll do that last? I wish I knew what exactly I worked on today so I can do different things. I didn't work on my legs at all or abs, so maybe I should do those next?

[na49]

God dammit just when I think I'm out. They pull me back in.

 

Well.. not really. I just was on facebook and some random guy just puts my ex's name in one of his statuses. I have no idea why. She's blocked on my account, so I guess I don't know if she commented on it or not but it would've said there's more comments and I wouldn't see them so I'd know it was her. I don't really care because this guy is a clown and he actually reminds me of her ex before me. (really crazy and immature, probably on lots of drugs, not very attractive)

 

I unsubscribed from the guy's updates. I'm just so pissed because I wasn't thinking of her at all. Just sitting here playing a video game and bang there's her name. :mad::mad:

 

someone smack me. I just looked at all of our pictures. The emotions weren't running high but they make me miss the old idea of her.

Edited January 29, 2013 by na49

[Simon Phoenix]

Delete or toss the old pictures dude. Why do you still have those?

[na49]

They're on my facebook. I didn't delete them because I never look at them (besides today). Some of them are from prom and I'd rather just have them to show a part of my life that no longer exists. God now I'm going crazy wondering what her relationship with this weirdo is. I've tried so hard to avoid reminders of her and I still get one. On a day I was feeling good too...

[Simon Phoenix]

They're on my facebook. I didn't delete them because I never look at them (besides today). Some of them are from prom and I'd rather just have them to show a part of my life that no longer exists. God now I'm going crazy wondering what her relationship with this weirdo is. I've tried so hard to avoid reminders of her and I still get one. On a day I was feeling good too...

 

Repel the thoughts. Stop them. Think about something else, anything else. Force yourself to stop. And I'd delete them if they are bringing about this.

[na49]

Well I just unfriended the guy who posted her name. I guess he's friends with her and I had no idea. I was originally just unsubscribed but I know I'd be looking to see if she's talking to him or if she's liked any of his statuses. He posts new ones every 5 minutes.

[na49]

Didn't go to the gym today. I'm going tomorrow. My arms are sore as hell, so maybe I should work on my legs tomorrow? Or just treadmill? What do you guys think?

[Chi townD]

If your arms are still sore, then you might have a build up of lactic acid. Basically, you did too much too soon. I would definately get a good cardio in. Mix it up between the treadmill and eliptical and possibly a stair climber. Don't do too much on either or all of these machines. Like, 20 minutes on the treadmill and 20 on the eliptical. Remember, your just starting out again. So, go slow and let your body get used to rigorous activity again. Then, after your body starts to get used to it, you can bump it up.

 

Rome wasn't built in a day. You excerise regularly and eat healthy and clean, then you should start to see changes in about 2 weeks. So, take your time. Do things right and things will start to happen.

[LostOne1]

Didn't go to the gym today. I'm going tomorrow. My arms are sore as hell, so maybe I should work on my legs tomorrow? Or just treadmill? What do you guys think?

LOL the first day that I worked out.. it felt so good I must have over worked. Because after it took me 4 days to heal LOL

 

But after that it takes a day max to heal at the most.

[na49]

If your arms are still sore, then you might have a build up of lactic acid. Basically, you did too much too soon. I would definately get a good cardio in. Mix it up between the treadmill and eliptical and possibly a stair climber. Don't do too much on either or all of these machines. Like, 20 minutes on the treadmill and 20 on the eliptical. Remember, your just starting out again. So, go slow and let your body get used to rigorous activity again. Then, after your body starts to get used to it, you can bump it up.

 

Rome wasn't built in a day. You excerise regularly and eat healthy and clean, then you should start to see changes in about 2 weeks. So, take your time. Do things right and things will start to happen.

 

Alright that's probably what happened. I wasn't keeping track of my reps actually so I did as many as I could. rested. Went at it again. I don't remember how many exactly I did. Oh well. Tomorrow I guess I'll just use the treadmill and eliptical. I don't have as much time because I work Wednesday so maybe I can take it easy on that day? What would you suggest I work on, on the day I have the least time?

 

if I do cardio tomorrow, should I do arms on Thursday or legs or?

 

Also if I eat one thing that isn't "healthy" am I going to screw everything up? I'm confused about that part of "eating right".

[Chi townD]

LOL! Okay...Ummm... The next day you work the weights, I would work legs and abs. You haven't even touched those yet. There are two ways you can lift the weight.

 

For more bulk and "wet" type muscle gains. Heavy weight with smaller reps. Like 8 reps per set. For a leaner "cut" look. Light weights with more reps. Like 12-15 in a set. For legs you can do squat thrusts, leg presses, calf lifts and hemstring curls. You can also do Kempo type aerobic kicks. (Kind of like what they have in P90X).

 

In fact, if you don't mind spending 119 bucks, I would do P90X. It's an instructional DVD by Beach Body and it comes with 12 different workouts that promotes muscle confusion. The theory behind muscle confusion is that your body doesn't know what you're going to be doing from day to day and therefore, you don't plateau. Plus, the you follow along with the workout on the DVD, so you know EXACTLY what you're supposed to be doing, because you're doing it with them on the disk. You can't get lost. But, I you'll need either exercise bands or dumbells at a minimum, and a yoga mat wouldn't hurt either because you do yoga on one of the disks (Laugh, but I thought the same thing and it kicked my ass!). And also a pull up bar that you can screw in any door frame. What is also included is a nutritional guide to tell you whats good to eat and what isn't. Also, a meal plan and some recipes that you can do for healthy eating. If you eat right and follow the guide and do your best throughtout the 90 day program. You are going to see massive results. Just look up youtube video's of P90X before and after and see results that some people got.

 

Eating right is key. 5 smaller meals throught the day. No more crap. No pizza, beer, pop, fast food, no candy bars.

 

Just to give you an idea on how to eat a little clean, this is what I've eaten so far today.

 

Breakfast- Banana

 

Whole grain English muffin toasted with a slice of low-fat cheese and egg whites.

 

Orange juice not from concentrate and a multi vitamin.

 

Mid morning snack- One serving of almonds.

 

Lunch- Turkey and mustard sandwich on 12 grain bread.

side salad.

1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese.

 

Mid afternoon snack- One cliff bar.

 

Dinner- will probably be white fish and rice with broccoli.

 

evening snack- apple.

 

 

That's what I've had or am having today. See, no pop, candy or burgers or pizza.... just healthy, non-processed food.

Edited January 29, 2013 by Chi townD

[na49]

I actually don't really know what kind of "look" I'm going for. I don't know which would be better for me given my body type. My original motivation for going to the gym besides just improving me was to have huge arms and be able to fill out my smaller t-shirts well and not be afraid to have my shirt off in public.

 

I've been drinking a lot of water lately like you suggested yesterday. My arms feel like they're getting worse, so I definitely did way too much. I was so confused when I saw people go over to a machine, do one or two sets and walk away. Does that really even do anything for them?

 

I'll focus on legs and abs tomorrow I guess. If I do work on legs/abs do the same things apply with the reps? Would it be better to have more reps with less sets or more sets with less reps?

[Chi townD]

I actually don't really know what kind of "look" I'm going for. I don't know which would be better for me given my body type. My original motivation for going to the gym besides just improving me was to have huge arms and be able to fill out my smaller t-shirts well and not be afraid to have my shirt off in public.

 

I've been drinking a lot of water lately like you suggested yesterday. My arms feel like they're getting worse, so I definitely did way too much. I was so confused when I saw people go over to a machine, do one or two sets and walk away. Does that really even do anything for them?

 

I'll focus on legs and abs tomorrow I guess. If I do work on legs/abs do the same things apply with the reps? Would it be better to have more reps with less sets or more sets with less reps?

 

For your arms, if I were you, I would massage them out. Try to squeeze some of that lactic acid out of the muscle belly. Then, I would ice them down. NO HEAT!!!! At least 15 minutes an hour. An I would constantly strech the arms out as much as possible. Then, I would take Motrin to bring down some of that swelling.

 

Yeah, if people just did two sets, that might be enough for them. Lets say they pushed it for 2 set sets at 15 reps. They pushed heavy weight 30 times. So, yeah...something happened, it wasn't for nothing.

 

If I were you, I would think about going for the lean, cut look. Girls love that look. If you had two magazines and you asked some girls which cover model do they find more attractive, either the guy on Men's Health or the guy on the cover of Muscle Magazine? I think the majority would prefer the Ryan Reynolds look over a guy with massive arms with veins popping out all over the place.

Edited January 29, 2013 by Chi townD

[na49]

I think it's funny how this thread has been more of a workout advice thread the past few days.

 

Anyway, worked on legs and abs today. I don't feel it much, is that a bad thing? Turns out I worked on chest, not arms on Monday. I thought my arms hurt because they did, but my friend informed me that I worked on my chest which makes sense because my chest is still killing me lol.

 

So I'll be doing arms tomorrow. Should I use actual weights or machines? Also my friend told me to warm up with cardio every day? Cardio is the eliptical, treadmill or the stairmaster right?

[na49]

Worked the arms today. My arms are shaking a bit as I'm writing this so I guess that's a good thing.

 

As I was on the treadmill I saw someone out the window who looked like her from behind and the crappy feelings all happened at once. I had a pretty bad day anyway, just an off day for whatever reason. I started missing her a bit, thinking if she'd contact me. Thinking who she might be dating, etc.

 

Not miserable now. Just not feeling like I did Monday or yesterday. (which was awesome)

[Simon Phoenix]

Worked the arms today. My arms are shaking a bit as I'm writing this so I guess that's a good thing.

 

As I was on the treadmill I saw someone out the window who looked like her from behind and the crappy feelings all happened at once. I had a pretty bad day anyway, just an off day for whatever reason. I started missing her a bit, thinking if she'd contact me. Thinking who she might be dating, etc.

 

Not miserable now. Just not feeling like I did Monday or yesterday. (which was awesome)

 

The fact that you haven't posted much except to ask about workout routines the last few days is pretty good. Don't get too bent out of shape about setbacks, they happen. Hell, this week I pulled a you and broke a four-month no-Facebook creeping streak and looked at my ex's Facebook. There was nothing there that set me back or made me feel bad at all, nothing to indicate that she's dating anyone, but yeah, it happens to all of us. You're doing better, keep it up.

[na49]

The fact that you haven't posted much except to ask about workout routines the last few days is pretty good. Don't get too bent out of shape about setbacks, they happen. Hell, this week I pulled a you and broke a four-month no-Facebook creeping streak and looked at my ex's Facebook. There was nothing there that set me back or made me feel bad at all, nothing to indicate that she's dating anyone, but yeah, it happens to all of us. You're doing better, keep it up.

 

Damn, looking after four months? Did you spend a lot of time looking at everything you'd missed or just check it and stop? I think if I ever had a setback like that I'd look at EVERYTHING ever since the last time I checked which was about 3 months now.

 

I am happy that my posts have been more about working out than being miserable. Tomorrow I don't have class and won't be going to the gym. I've got an insane amount of homework though, so I'll be working on that over the weekend and hopefully not spending too much time sitting around thinking. Tonight is actually the most time I've had to myself all week. These are the worst times for me.

 

I'm thinking what our next conversation would/will be. What will she say to me? What will I say to her? Will she ever apologize? Will she ever contact me again? Obviously you've been drilling it into my head that she's a cheater and I shouldn't want her back. Honestly, I don't think I want her as much as I just want my ideal girl (I replace the thought of her with the thought of my friend who I've just started to have a crush on lol). I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't take her back if she came running, but I'm not pining over her as much.

 

Also I have a question concerning her friends. I'm walking around campus and I see two of her friends who I knew. I wouldn't consider them friends. Well I looked at one, she looked at me, I didn't say anything and just kept walking. It was very awkward. The other one (the guy who she was very close with and I thought was a good kid) I tried my best not to look his way. I tried to walk past him hoping he wouldn't see me, but he did and I said hi. I felt like crap afterwards because I don't want anything to do with these people. It's nothing personal against them, but I just don't want to deal with them because they deal with her. I'm forming my own group of friends, not dealing with the leftover scraps who I met when I was with her.

 

So my question is, would it be mean for me to ignore them? I really REALLY want nothing to do with them. Not trying to be a jerk or anything, but they really aren't my friends.

Edited February 1, 2013 by na49

[Hopeful714]

I think your doing awesome! Keep up what your doing. Don't worry about the ex. I ditto your comment about not wanting her as much as your "ideal girl".

 

Someday, you may bump into her and/or get that apology (if it happens, hopefully it will be when you are completely moved on) so be on your guard until your totally recovered....especially at school. Luckily you dont have much to go right?

 

In so far as her friends, if you feel like it just say "how ya doin" or "hey" and keep moving on. You have no reason to feel ashamed or hide. Just be yourself. But yea, I wouldn't talk to them...just say gotsta go....Again, you did nothing...you have no reason to feel bad.

 

I've been feeling a bit better too. I guess NC is really working. I know the setbacks come here and there though. And there is still a ways to go. But we are on or way.....and lost little dignity too!...so for that, and for today, I say YIPPIE.

[Simon Phoenix]

Actually I didn't cycle back very far -- maybe a month or month-and-a-half. A lot of the stuff on there was stuff I already knew about that she told me about before we stopped talking. I looked at some new pictures, which were mostly of her and her chick friends (her best friend back home plus some of her local friends, all cute as f--k). There was one with her and a guy, but it was one of her high school friends from back home that I'm pretty sure is in a relationship. So yeah, absolutely nothing to indicate that she had a serious dude. Her profile picture is the exact same as it was when we stopped talking. But yeah, I didn't spend much time there (maybe five minutes, if that) and I haven't been back in the two days since.

 

Actually relaxed me quite a bit to see it -- I have been thinking about her a lot recently after going on a few dates. Not only were there no pictures, there was no posts from guys or anything (I didn't read any of the comments on her pictures). While I was playing with fire and risked having a setback if she was with someone else (not sure how I would have reacted if she was) knowing that she probably wasn't made me less eager to possibly break NC. Not that I'm going to anytime soon -- if I was it'll be after my work schedule slows down and after Valentine's Day. But I don't feel there's actually a countdown clock ticking for me to make contact and I can repress my impatient nature. I still would rather work through it and find someone else, but I'm having a hard time completely punting this one for some reason. Maybe it's because she hasn't done anything overt to completely piss me off. If I was in your situation, your ex would be dead to me. But that's just my nature I guess.

 

As far as your situation with her friends, don't seek them out, but don't be a d--k to them either. If they say hi, say hi or nod. If they say anything more, be short but polite. No need to come off as a disagreeable ass to them. Plus, it might f--k with your ex if they report to her how chill you are (not that you should try to pander to her, but it's always better to come off relaxed and chill then come off as an a--hole.)

 

On another note, I wish they allowed cursing on this site

[na49]

You're right. I still am myself. I'm not a jerk, I'm also not a doormat. I'm me. If they see me and say "hi" then I'll just say "hi" back. That's all he said, and as for the other friend. Not sure if I handled it well or not but honestly, she's good friends with my ex so I really don't want anything to do with her.

 

I'm more concerned about the fact that I haven't talked to those two girls who sit in front of me at all this week. Then I see them sitting waiting for their classes and I just looked at them and kept walking instead of saying hello. Gah! Why do I have to be so nervous and shy!

[Hopeful714]

Because you just went through H8LL! That's why! Say hi tomorrow!

[Simon Phoenix]

You're right. I still am myself. I'm not a jerk, I'm also not a doormat. I'm me. If they see me and say "hi" then I'll just say "hi" back. That's all he said, and as for the other friend. Not sure if I handled it well or not but honestly, she's good friends with my ex so I really don't want anything to do with her.

 

I'm more concerned about the fact that I haven't talked to those two girls who sit in front of me at all this week. Then I see them sitting waiting for their classes and I just looked at them and kept walking instead of saying hello. Gah! Why do I have to be so nervous and shy!

 

Just a simple hi. Once you get on the "hi" program with them, then that expands the interaction. Eventually you get to "how are you?" "what's up?" yada yada yada. And if they don't say hi? Who gives a s--t. You have more classes with more girls.