Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Gah I want to send her a message explaining myself! Why do I feel like I have to explain anything? I'm wondering what I would see if I saw her facebook page right now. Would it hurt more to see her with someone or see she's single? Would she even respond to my message? Does she hate me because I blocked her? How are you dealing with your bad day? I find it's easier to feel keep feeling good when I'm having a good day than to try cheering myself up when I feel like I do now. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Gah I want to send her a message explaining myself! Why do I feel like I have to explain anything? I'm wondering what I would see if I saw her facebook page right now. Would it hurt more to see her with someone or see she's single? Would she even respond to my message? Does she hate me because I blocked her? How are you dealing with your bad day? I find it's easier to feel keep feeling good when I'm having a good day than to try cheering myself up when I feel like I do now. What would you need to explain? Im confused , because you blocked her? She cheated and cutting her out seems like a normal response that she probably didnt like but deep down understands. If anything she owed you and explanation.. But don't you think we are past this need to understand and explaining things? Go see her FB if you want. You know what is there anyway. Pics of her. Maybe new guy. Or her liking some thinks about some douche and vice versa..GUARANTEED THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT YOU. You'll feel like crap but wont end your world. Cav I just think this is tough enough without trying to get info that will hurt us. This feeling will change in a few hours anyway so don't place any importance on them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 lol as badly as I want to look at her facebook, I don't think I can get myself to go through with it. I've had feelings like these before and they suck. I think if I checked a week ago or something it wouldn't be a big deal. but I haven't checked in over 3 months, why break my streak now? I saw pictures of her with her FRIENDS on someone else's facebook and it was like getting my heart broken all over again. Seeing a picture of her with or without a guy that gets a bunch of likes and people telling her how pretty she looks? Why would that make me feel better than I do right now? It wouldn't. I'm apparently not winning the fight with all of these crazy thoughts today. It's a shame too considering how well I was doing. It's gonna be a looooonnnnggggg day. Link to post Share on other sites
fancy feast Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Don't even remember writing that last night. Sorry folks. I have to ask cuz this would be a weird coincidence.... Michael? Nope, sorry. Handsome fellow, I'm sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
destroyed4sho Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 What I am doing with my bad day? I woke up early to go skiing, felt down, didnt go, went to a coffe shop and drankcoffe while i sobbed at my table facing the window, i dont think anyone saw, then i went home now in bed and depressed and sobbing some more. Yes pretty pathetic!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 I seriously need to get busy doing something. Fast! Holy crap I want to check up on her, message her, do everything that I've been trying to avoid. Do everything that everyone has told me not to do. Link to post Share on other sites
newsbug Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I'm having another bad day today. I'm just sitting with a frown on my face. I finally deleted his number and email address...I don't have them remembered at all...and blocked all fb connections. Now I'm just empty and I know I will never hear from him again unless he initiates it. But I know that he won't because he's got a new gf that makes him happy and apparently I didn't. So he gets to be happy and I get to be miserable. I don't know how to get through these bad days but just to do it. Hopefully one day I can wake up without dry heaving over thoughts of him leaving me after we were so happy. I hope. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 I miss her so much! I'm afraid I'm going to have a major setback. I want to get busy doing something, I just don't feel like doing anything. I'm trying to get happy about what I DO have instead of worrying about what I don't have but I just can't. I want a girl who cheated on me to come back... what the f*ck is wrong with me? Today's been one of the worst days I've had in a while. Link to post Share on other sites
newsbug Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I'm right there with ya. I'm thinking about at least making myself go out and take a walk around the block. I know that's not much, but at least I can get some fresh air for a minute. I like to walk at the cemetery so I can cry and look as lost and hopeless as I feel and no one thinks much about it. So far I've just been laying on the couch and staring at the walls. I don't even have a tv on or anything. Just sitting and staring and being sad. I wish I could just die and have it all over with. feh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 I want to do something, I have a bunch of schoolwork that I should be working on. I'm just wasting my entire day waiting for it to be over so I can wake up tomorrow and hopefully feel better. I'm deathly afraid of what I would see on her facebook so I won't check it. I'm also afraid of reaching out to her and being ignored or laughed at and told "I'm over you, I don't love you anymore, leave me alone" I want to cry but my family would think "what the heck is wrong with him?" If they noticed. Boo hoo. Poor me right? God damn I just want this to be over so I can start feeling good again. Link to post Share on other sites
aliceinthebox Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Don't even remember writing that last night. Sorry folks. Nope, sorry. Handsome fellow, I'm sure. Lol. What a relief. You two give me the same vibe and the name fancy feast and that guy from batman kind of made me wonder. There's no way he would ever be on here. Link to post Share on other sites
newsbug Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I want to do something, I have a bunch of schoolwork that I should be working on. I'm just wasting my entire day waiting for it to be over so I can wake up tomorrow and hopefully feel better. I'm deathly afraid of what I would see on her facebook so I won't check it. I'm also afraid of reaching out to her and being ignored or laughed at and told "I'm over you, I don't love you anymore, leave me alone" I want to cry but my family would think "what the heck is wrong with him?" If they noticed. Boo hoo. Poor me right? God damn I just want this to be over so I can start feeling good again. Me too. I can't see him on facebook anymore, which is healthier, but I hate being on facebook now because of it. I hate my whole house because everything reminds me of him. I boxed up everything that was his or he gave me and it's gone...but I can't get rid of my bed. Or my stove or my backyard. I can't get rid of what was supposed to be our life together. But he decided he wanted a life with her instead. And I'm supposed to not think it's my fault...but he left ME. How can't it be about ME? I hate myself right now and I hate these feelings. I hate people wanting me to go out and act like I'm fine and nothing has happened when just a week ago I was engaged and happy and now I'm not. And it's just gone. Like a death...it just disappeared and I didn't have a say in it. He gets to be happy and with her and I get to sit here and wonder what is wrong with me and what happened and feel like crap. I know..I'm just wallowing. But I have to. I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 I'm sorry you have to deal with a divorce. If it was just a week ago, your feelings are actually normal. I've been fighting this BU for 4 months now. Haven't gone a day without thinking of her and today I'm just beat. All I want to do is think of her. I want to talk to her. I want to check up on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 YUCK! I stalked that guy who is friends with my ex's profile and I think she has a boyfriend based on comments that the guy was writing to her on his statuses. I couldn't see her comments because she's blocked. but I see his and he mentioned something about "her boyfriend". No idea who, but she is with someone else. It may be the douche rocket. It may not be. At least I didn't look at her profile. I feel like banging my head against the wall and then doing it again. Is today over yet? Link to post Share on other sites
newsbug Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I wasn't married yet. We were engaged and I know and everyone says how lucky I was that he left me before we got married. It doesn't feel better. It feels like crap. I messed up and looked at his facebook yesterday and saw how he was happy and he and her were just posting about each other...it killed me. I have killed any chance of seeing any of that again. It's just too mean and painful to myself. Tomorrow will be better...although it's Monday. feh. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Jesus Christ at this thread today. na, get a hold of yourself man. This bitch cheated on you. Stop groveling for her. It's gross man. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 I wasn't married yet. We were engaged and I know and everyone says how lucky I was that he left me before we got married. It doesn't feel better. It feels like crap. I messed up and looked at his facebook yesterday and saw how he was happy and he and her were just posting about each other...it killed me. I have killed any chance of seeing any of that again. It's just too mean and painful to myself. Tomorrow will be better...although it's Monday. feh. I guess I'd rather see what I saw than see pictures and posts from her. God dammit I'm so pissed that I did that. F*CK!!!!!!!! I don't even care that tomorrow's Monday. I don't have class tomorrow which actually sucks. I want to go to class because it is something to keep me busy. but it's times like this that I'm happy I never reach out to her. She's freaking done with me and has moved on to other people. That's completely her right. I'm not mad about that. Why is that so hard to accept though? I've gotten it in about every way possible besides seeing a picture of her and another guy and I still don't get it! Or I do now, but the feelings will come back and I'll pull the same crap again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Jesus Christ at this thread today. na, get a hold of yourself man. This bitch cheated on you. Stop groveling for her. It's gross man. This is exactly what I need to hear. I feel like once I start groveling for her, I can't stop. Now that I think she's with someone new I feel like crap. Completely my own fault of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 This is exactly what I need to hear. I feel like once I start groveling for her, I can't stop. Now that I think she's with someone new I feel like crap. Completely my own fault of course. Let it set you free. IT'S F--KING OVER! SHE CHEATED ON YOU, SO WHY IN THE F--K WOULD YOU EVER WANT HER BACK? I have no idea why you wanted hope, but there's no hope to be had. Keep it moving. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Yeah NA we all lose it sometimes but get a grip. Stop the mental snowball. Push it away and shut it down. You need to control your thoughts. Stand up take a deep breath and man up. Go to GNC and buy a protein shake or something. Cav Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 This is exactly what I need to hear. I feel like once I start groveling for her, I can't stop. Now that I think she's with someone new I feel like crap. Completely my own fault of course. Have you gone seen the counsellor yet as I told you to do? Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 And of course she is with someone else. This should be assumed. And if she isn't in committed RS she is getting laid by random guys on dates she goes out with. Just accept it. Cav Lost- what did counselor say to help? I'm thinking of going. Did it make a big difference and why? How are you feeling. From one of you last posts you seem almost recovered. When did this happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Yeah NA we all lose it sometimes but get a grip. Stop the mental snowball. Push it away and shut it down. You need to control your thoughts. Stand up take a deep breath and man up. Go to GNC and buy a protein shake or something. Cav Exactly. These thoughts happen. na just seems to have absolutely no ability to repel them or diminish them at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Debbie2508 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Let it set you free. IT'S F--KING OVER! SHE CHEATED ON YOU, SO WHY IN THE F--K WOULD YOU EVER WANT HER BACK? I have no idea why you wanted hope, but there's no hope to be had. Keep it moving. I wish we knew the answers to Why the f--k we want them back. My friends keep asking me the same question. Why DO we still want them when they've hurt as so bad, and reduced our self esteem to zero...is that why, we think we'll never find anyone else... better the devil you know?? Why do we put them on a pedestal, and why do we only remember the good times?? Aaaargh! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I wish we knew the answers to Why the f--k we want them back. My friends keep asking me the same question. Why DO we still want them when they've hurt as so bad, and reduced our self esteem to zero...is that why, we think we'll never find anyone else... better the devil you know?? Why do we put them on a pedestal, and why do we only remember the good times?? Aaaargh! I get it to a certain extent, but not with cheating. And I'd rather be alone than have the devil -- I had no problem being alone before the last girlfriend. I still don't have a problem with it entirely, but it's not as easy of an answer to that question now than it used to be. Link to post Share on other sites
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