suladas Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I wish my ex cared enough to text me That is only one way to look at it. Maybe they care enough not to. Just because they don't want to be with you doesn't mean they don't care. Maybe they know not texting is the best thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jagdude14 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 That is only one way to look at it. Maybe they care enough not to. Just because they don't want to be with you doesn't mean they don't care. Maybe they know not texting is the best thing. She didnt even have enough respect to break up with me except in text so I doubt it. I am struggling to move on Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I think I'm at a spot where I wouldn't do anything that will set me back. As much as I would love to message her, or look at her facebook. I have no plans on doing either of those. I feel like my counselor will not like the fact that I ignored her when she asked to talk, but it's all irrelevant now. By the looks of it, my counselor seems to think my ex is evil just like all of you do. Even she is confused why I would want her back. From what I heard from her today, it seems like the only way I can get over this is by meeting new people. Which makes sense, because that's the one thing I haven't been doing. So now you are guessing at what your counselor might think? Let's stop that now please. Don't guess at what people think -- she'll tell you what she thinks. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 She didnt even have enough respect to break up with me except in text so I doubt it. I am struggling to move on Mine broke up with me by text to. Yes that hurts more. But also think about it. How much harder would it be to see the face of the person you hurt? As much as I hated it to, I can understand it, I don't know if I would have the courage to break up with someone in person it would not be easy. You have no idea what they are thinking and you are not doing yourself any favours wondering about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 I messed up pretty bad last night. She ended up texting me... but like you Na, I dont think I would do anything to set myself further back.... sadly for me though my counselor is sick and I wont be able to see her for another 3 weeks and this is the time i really have to talk to her! What did the text say? lol good point Simon. One thing she told me when I mentioned how I feel inferior to my ex because she has more friends is that it's a very "high school" way to think. Like the "popular" people are better than the people who aren't "popular". Another refreshing perspective on things. It's weird, I get all of these new thoughts from her today and they are conflicting with the ones that I've had so it's like these ideas are going to war with each other in my head. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 What did the text say? lol good point Simon. One thing she told me when I mentioned how I feel inferior to my ex because she has more friends is that it's a very "high school" way to think. Like the "popular" people are better than the people who aren't "popular". Another refreshing perspective on things. It's weird, I get all of these new thoughts from her today and they are conflicting with the ones that I've had so it's like these ideas are going to war with each other in my head. Well, your head has been a sh-tshow for the past few months, so listen to this counselor. And yes, I think we've been telling you that the whole "popular" thing you are stuck on has been bulls--t 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 Well, your head has been a sh-tshow for the past few months, so listen to this counselor. And yes, I think we've been telling you that the whole "popular" thing you are stuck on has been bulls--t You've all been telling me everything this counselor will probably tell me. For whatever reason it sticks more hearing it in person. For it to stick with me I need to hear it from both places. I can't wait to go back next week lol. I have so much more that I have to tell her about. Link to post Share on other sites
jagdude14 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Mine broke up with me by text to. Yes that hurts more. But also think about it. How much harder would it be to see the face of the person you hurt? As much as I hated it to, I can understand it, I don't know if I would have the courage to break up with someone in person it would not be easy. You have no idea what they are thinking and you are not doing yourself any favours wondering about it. I am just lost. And yes I think respecting someone is doing it face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 What did the text say? lol good point Simon. One thing she told me when I mentioned how I feel inferior to my ex because she has more friends is that it's a very "high school" way to think. Like the "popular" people are better than the people who aren't "popular". Another refreshing perspective on things. It's weird, I get all of these new thoughts from her today and they are conflicting with the ones that I've had so it's like these ideas are going to war with each other in my head. heres the thread Na: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/377397-messed-up it was mostly my fault but whats done is done Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 lol no one to blame for that but yourself. My school has one of those pages too I think. I wouldn't blame her for texting you and reacting. I would blame yourself for trying to get a reaction out of her by posting something like that. Your "confession" screams "Feel sorry for me!" which is not the most attractive way to go. I think my ex was asking about posting on it because before I blocked this guy, He wrote a post saying *my ex's name* you need to send a message to get your comment posted. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 you are correct that I posted that to illict a response lol. Im pretty sure we talked about this before and said thats why we do these things and shouldnt. Ive just been stressed lately and have this paper due and got angry that Iw as letting this distract me so I posted something. I know dumb move... and I still am angry that she responded... not in the way she did, but just that she responded. I know that contradicts my intentions, but if you want me gone, dont send me a message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 you are correct that I posted that to illict a response lol. Im pretty sure we talked about this before and said thats why we do these things and shouldnt. Ive just been stressed lately and have this paper due and got angry that Iw as letting this distract me so I posted something. I know dumb move... and I still am angry that she responded... not in the way she did, but just that she responded. I know that contradicts my intentions, but if you want me gone, dont send me a message. She wants you gone. She doesn't want you bothering her with anonymous crap like that. I hear you on the stress, this semester has been much more stressful for me than last semester was. I really want to know what my counselor will tell me on these urges to contact her. I'm having them again. I do more harm than good with these urges, if I never act on them anyway they are so pointless and frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Okay then she should have just said "stop posting about me etc etc" ... Or "Im done with you please just get over it" See these little bread crumbs are just too stale to feed me haha. Theres a part of me that wants to text and just say "what do you want?> if you want me gone for good, then tell me". Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 She doesn't owe you sh*t dude. You're better than this. What you did was kind of immature to be honest, try to let it go. (I know it's easier said than done) but she gave you a one word text. You're climbing the walls. You know exactly what the text meant. She thinks it's silly that you did what you did. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Yeah, you are turning a molehill into a mountain. So she texted "nice"? So what? It doesn't mean anything. Next time don't type anything like that that she could possibly see. I really don't get the point of doing that and it obviously backfired on you. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 It did. It was stupid. it backfired and made me avoid her when I saw her today. usually I am able to walk by, but I had to turn another way. it made me feel small, like I have to avoid her now... but it should be her avoiding me.. her going the other way. I should not have to change one thing,, or to run when i see her because I was not at fault in this whole relationship, but she does a great job at making it seem like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 It did. It was stupid. it backfired and made me avoid her when I saw her today. usually I am able to walk by, but I had to turn another way. it made me feel small, like I have to avoid her now... but it should be her avoiding me.. her going the other way. I should not have to change one thing,, or to run when i see her because I was not at fault in this whole relationship, but she does a great job at making it seem like that. It's not a relationship. The relationship is over. She doesn't feel the need to avoid you because she doesn't care about you one way or the other. It doesn't matter to her. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 sorry I meant to make that past tense. I do realize that it is over... I just wanted to get myself to the point where I could walk by her.. say hi.. maybe spark a little conversation.. and then be on my way. To be indifferent. Thats what I was working at, now I feel like I took a step back because I am hiding from her basically. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 She should be the one avoiding you but she's not. because she doesn't think she did anything wrong. Well you know you didn't do anything wrong, so what are you afraid of? I know how awkward it is when you send them a message and then you see them. I remember when I laid into my ex for cheating on me before she blocked me on facebook. I wrote her a short story on how evil she was, how she wronged me, etc. Going to class the day after and seeing her was AWKWARD. Like "Hey I just cussed you out on facebook last night and you blocked me, but I'm not going to say anything to you" I think I glared at her the entire class though. Like she'd look over at me and I was giving her the death stare the whole time. What can I say? I was an emotional wreck. You have to stop doing things to get a reaction out of her. I considered making my relationship status on facebook private so she won't know I'm single if she ever did see my profile. I considered sending "smoke signals" to one of her friends I was talking to last night to try and get him to tell her I missed her. I considered asking this guy how she was so he would tell her and she may feel guilty and want to talk to me. I didn't do any of that because it's f*cking stupid. If I do anything to try and get a reaction out of her. I'm not doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 I think we are both getting a little fed up with how long this "moving on" thing is taking. We just want to be over it and be able to handle a casual friendship with our ex with no other strings attached. We're able to see them happy with their boyfriend, maybe hear a little bit about this new guy before telling them we have to go have hot steamy sex with our new girlfriend who is as loyal as a dog and 100% into us. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 sorry I meant to make that past tense. I do realize that it is over... I just wanted to get myself to the point where I could walk by her.. say hi.. maybe spark a little conversation.. and then be on my way. To be indifferent. Thats what I was working at, now I feel like I took a step back because I am hiding from her basically. Why do you want to have a conversation? Just walk and take care of your own s--t. If you are indifferent you won't care either way about having a conversation or not having one. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I think we are both getting a little fed up with how long this "moving on" thing is taking. We just want to be over it and be able to handle a casual friendship with our ex with no other strings attached. We're able to see them happy with their boyfriend, maybe hear a little bit about this new guy before telling them we have to go have hot steamy sex with our new girlfriend who is as loyal as a dog and 100% into us. I have no idea why you want to have a friendship with her. I don't get the point of that. She sucks. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 I have no idea why you want to have a friendship with her. I don't get the point of that. She sucks. She does suck. it's funny because when I wrote that I may have wanted friendship. I think of her now and I want nothing to do with her. My counselor told me she thought my ex had a bunch of issues herself. Yup. She definitely does. They're not my problem though. I have my own problems. Now where does this go? Why can't I feel this way forever? She wronged me, she can go f*ck herself, good luck finding someone who puts up with your crap like I did. etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 She does suck. it's funny because when I wrote that I may have wanted friendship. I think of her now and I want nothing to do with her. My counselor told me she thought my ex had a bunch of issues herself. Yup. She definitely does. They're not my problem though. I have my own problems. Now where does this go? Why can't I feel this way forever? She wronged me, she can go f*ck herself, good luck finding someone who puts up with your crap like I did. etc. You wrote that a few minutes ago? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Holding back progression. Of course they do not care to change their patterns around you. Question: Do you consider whether an ant is below your foot or do you just smash it and walk on? An ant is not worth any effort of thought. None of you are worth any effort to your exes. They stomped on you already. I am sure they will again...friendship with those you love, in this way, is next to impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
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