Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 You're emotional and being reminded that she is dating someone else sucks. I wouldn't beat yourself up for that. If I knew where my ex was going to be, I would avoid those areas too. Especially if it's her walking with her boyfriend. (or any guy for that matter) Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 It just feels like for the first time in this whole thing, I did something wrong now... so now I feel like I must correct it so I am not at fault... its hard to explain but I bet you have felt something like this. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 It just feels like for the first time in this whole thing, I did something wrong now... so now I feel like I must correct it so I am not at fault... its hard to explain but I bet you have felt something like this. There is nothing you can or should do. Leave it be. The hardest thing to do is nothing, but it's the best thing to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 It just feels like for the first time in this whole thing, I did something wrong now... so now I feel like I must correct it so I am not at fault... its hard to explain but I bet you have felt something like this. Yes when I ignored her attempts at friendship. When I ignored her when she asked to talk to me. When she said that we needed to talk. Of course I feel guilty about all of that. but what can I do about it now? Not really much. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Do you want to leave it at one mistake, or do you want to commit five mistakes on top of the one you did make? The anonymous blog thing was a bad idea -- don't let it get the best of you multiple times. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Here's the way I see it with trying to contact them, or "fix things". It's like your arm has a flash eating disease, you can chop it off now take the pain and be fine soon enough. Or you can keep trying to fix it while it continues to eat away at you, causing more and more pain. Your choice. Don't get me wrong, you can even read my threads if you want I made ALL the mistakes possible. Do I regret them? Not really. Did they cause me a TON more pain and get me nowhere? Yep. It was my first time, and I learned a lot. You can bet the next time someone breaks up with me I will delete them completely from my life and forget they exist, no matter WHAT. I'm realistic, chances are i'm going to go through at least a few more break ups in my lifetime, I made this one my learning experience. The sooner you cut your looses and cut off your ex the better you are. Short of doing something insane that caused the BU, there is NOTHING you can say or do that will end up going well. The sooner you stop trying to do anything and just forget it, the sooner you will be pain free. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Here's the way I see it with trying to contact them, or "fix things". It's like your arm has a flash eating disease, you can chop it off now take the pain and be fine soon enough. Or you can keep trying to fix it while it continues to eat away at you, causing more and more pain. Your choice. Don't get me wrong, you can even read my threads if you want I made ALL the mistakes possible. Do I regret them? Not really. Did they cause me a TON more pain and get me nowhere? Yep. It was my first time, and I learned a lot. You can bet the next time someone breaks up with me I will delete them completely from my life and forget they exist, no matter WHAT. I'm realistic, chances are i'm going to go through at least a few more break ups in my lifetime, I made this one my learning experience. The sooner you cut your looses and cut off your ex the better you are. Short of doing something insane that caused the BU, there is NOTHING you can say or do that will end up going well. The sooner you stop trying to do anything and just forget it, the sooner you will be pain free. This whole time I have been holdin onto to something so small. I've said it before. That's why this is bothering me so your right, I do have to let to of eveything. I'm no longer holding on the relationship... I think it was what she stood for as a friend.. And then a lover. But the only thing i can do to better myself is love on. There is nothing to fix. Nothing to say. What's done is done. I shouldn't feel like I need to apologize to her. There is no reason. I should care about what she think. As she doesn't care what I think. I'm the only one holding on, so it's time to let go fully. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Yeah McDonald I hear you on that. The only one keeping the drama about my BU alive is me. No one else cares about it anymore. I see her friends and wonder if they tell her they saw me. I think that she wants me to contact her. I think that she isn't happy without me. It's all BS though. The only person I'm fooling is myself. This is how BUs work apparently. I think because it's our first makes it much harder though. I'm still in disbelief about the whole thing. So we really just live our lives completely separate from each other? We never speak again or reconcile? She goes on and f*cks and dates other guys and I'm nothing more than a memory? This blows.. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Thats how I feel. I know I guess not responding is the logical thing to do... but it doesnt feel like its what i want to do.... I thought firsts were supposed to be special... this isnt how I want to remember it going down. Thats why I feel like I should say something, at least so I can walk by her with my head up.. instead up hiding like yesterday. [Here comes all the NC remarks now lol.. but its what I need to hear] --sorry for the typos last post, I did that on my phone. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) I do agree it sucks, and I wish my first didn't end like this either, but I just don't f*cking care anymore. I have no problem going the rest of my life without talking to her again, she is dead to me. It may be tough but don't hide from her. I just act like my ex is a stranger anytime I see her around. It use to get my heart racing, but now? It feels like nothing. She's just a person of my past. She doesn't matter anymore. Do I wish we could of been friends or at least civil? You bet, but I tried she didn't want it so i'm moving on. I'm not going to care about someone who doesn't care about me. My afternoon was actually pretty sh*tty but already i'm back to just not caring. I will be honest, a part of me hopes she does contact me sometime and apologizes for today, it really cut me deep. But at the same time, i'm not going to hold my breath or anything for it. I'm already working on forgetting it. The day you realize your ex is one of millions instead of one in a million is a good day. Don't put your life on hold for someone who doesn't give two sh*ts about you. Edited March 6, 2013 by suladas 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 My heart still races whenever I see my ex, but I rarely see her around campus. I do treat her like a stranger, she really is a stranger. It turns out she wasn't who I thought she was, so I have no clue who she really is. I'm glad you're doing better dude. You have a great attitude on this. Why should I care about someone who doesn't care about me? and I know she doesn't care about me. How? Well I don't need to mention everything she did before breaking up with me, not to mention how cold she was afterwards. I guess it goes back to what my counselor told me yesterday. People change. For me (and you McDonald) college is a time where people are trying to find themselves. Our ex's aren't who we were in love with anymore, they are different people. Now we have to try to be different people who are stronger. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 see I believe that. I know there will be others out there>> but why cant i feel that? Why Do i feel like it will just be easier to keep her close? And why the F do I want to reconcile with her.. to be friends... makes no sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 I believe there will be others. It's just that I don't want others, I want my ex. The way she was when we were together. I want that innocent, loving girl who was obsessed with me. I want to be friends with her because I want her to realize what she's missing out on, apologize and ask me to try again because she knows how great I was. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 I want to hit both of you with a baseball bat. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
thekarmacist Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 simon, you're the best. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 maybe it will knock some sense into me. Doubt it though becuase I have been banging my head enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Cognitive Miser Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Na- I'm glad you're visit with the counselor went well. I can already see that you're improving. Now you just need to get these disrupting, unnecessary thoughts out of your head and you'll be golden. How's the workout routine/ regimen going for you? Sidenote: I found out my ex unblocked me on Facebook. I don't really care, I'm not going to be checking up on her or anything because, in all honesty, I could careless. I was just wondering if I should continue to ignore it and just do nothing while going on with my life, or should I just block her before she gets the chance to do it again? I don't understand why she'd do that anyway, but I'm not going to put any more thought to it that has already been done. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 I threatened to hit them in the head at least a thousand times now...i think next ill threaten to cut off their manhood will motivate them better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Thanks, I definitely can't wait to go back next week. The workout routine has been going good. I've been going with higher weights and lower reps lately. My friend says I will get stronger quicker this way. I want to start doing more cardio, I've been losing weight, but nothing noticeable. My ex unblocked me on facebook after a while too. I had to block her because I didn't like the potential of seeing her profile. It's your call on whether you block her or not, if you're over her then I don't think it matters. If you are still trying to get over her, I would block her just to get rid of the temptation of looking at her profile. Even if you think you won't it's not about the times you don't. It's that one day where you think "I'll just have a quick peak at her profile and see what she's doing" and you get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 I'm at a loss about what to say anymore about your guys BU's and mine. Its over, terminado, finito, kaput. No amount of analysis changes the basic facts. We just move on. They move on. And it become history and a fading memory. Not sure if what i wrote is depressing or happy. Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cognitive Miser Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Thanks, I definitely can't wait to go back next week. The workout routine has been going good. I've been going with higher weights and lower reps lately. My friend says I will get stronger quicker this way. I want to start doing more cardio, I've been losing weight, but nothing noticeable. My ex unblocked me on facebook after a while too. I had to block her because I didn't like the potential of seeing her profile. It's your call on whether you block her or not, if you're over her then I don't think it matters. If you are still trying to get over her, I would block her just to get rid of the temptation of looking at her profile. Even if you think you won't it's not about the times you don't. It's that one day where you think "I'll just have a quick peak at her profile and see what she's doing" and you get hurt. That's good to hear, bud. Keep at it, and keep moving forward And yeah, that will definitely get you bigger, but one thing to remember is form. Correct form does wonders too just as much as lots of weight. More cardio along with a good diet will help solve that. What kind of workouts have you been doing? Yeah, I understand but I'll just let her have her fix and whatnot. I have no desire nor temptations to check her Facebook. I see her enough in class already always gawking at me lol... She'll reblock me sooner or later after she finally realizes she's dead to me. OHHHH! And I always thought that class we share together had no cute girls until today! Saw this one gem with the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. Thursday I will make it my goal to sit next to and converse with her just to see where things may go 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 I've mostly been using the machines, but every now and then I do free weights. Alright, you would know better than anyone if you needed to block her. I had classes with my ex last semester and it sucked! I was also more emotional about this than I am now. I still have the ridiculous thoughts here and there, but I definitely feel more indifferent towards her now than I did 3 months ago. Not to say that I'm completely indifferent, but I notice a change in my attitude towards her. I've been more angry at her/how things ended than missing her lately. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 As long as you guys aren't checking up on them, contacting them or anything else foolish like that it's not too bad. You're thoughts can suck, but they remind me of mine before so I can't say much. I was pinning to get my ex back for so dahm long it was pathetic. It is a good idea to try and get your mind in the right place, but time will bring it around. Your actions are more important, and moving on with your life will bring the rest around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 I've been trying my best to move on, and I like to think I'm doing a pretty good job. It sucks to know that I'm one click away from f*cking everything up. I'm still angry and depressed about how this whole BU happened. Angry about how she just keeps on going and will think I'm the bad guy for not being her friend. She'll accuse me of not caring about her, etc. Not really pining for her though, I said it earlier, but I'll always want what I once had until I'm dating someone new. I'm not considering checking up on her or calling her or anything right now. The only thing I want to contact her to do is cuss her out for being so evil and tell her how mad I am. I have to admit, I had an unknown number call me earlier and I was praying it would be her. It wasn't. Also as I turn this into my gym/workout thread. I think I'm going to do all of my cardio once a week. Does that sound like a good idea? I'll probably use the treadmill, should I go with a faster pace for shorter or a lower pace for longer? Or suck it up and go with a faster pace until my legs fall off? Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Hey NA is good to see your thought shifting to upset at how BU happened, some anger and depression. Believe it or not that is progress. That is where i was for a while. It is further along than your previous thought process. Cav 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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