Why do I feel worse?

[suladas]

Alright. What day do you want to see?

 

I almost purposely ran into her today. I know shame on me! its cause this week will be the last week in which I know her schuedle... after this week.. the quarter will change which means new classes and for the first time I will really have no idea what she is doing.

 

Its kinda a weird feeling. Like, thats it.

 

That's a good thing. The less you know about what is going on with your ex the better. It will help you a lot.

[McDonald]

That's a good thing. The less you know about what is going on with your ex the better. It will help you a lot.

 

I know. Guess Im just scared of the actual moving on that is happening. I feel like I got over this backwards, or in a weird way.

[na49]

I know how you feel, last semester I knew where my ex would be and what classes she had. (and we had two classes together). This semester I have no idea. It's kind of scary to think about, but it's just another part of moving on.

 

Holy crap, I'm still angry as hell about this. I have class in a little while, I hate sitting in class thinking about how angry I am at her.

Edited March 12, 2013 by na49

[cavalier99]

I know how you feel, last semester I knew where my ex would be and what classes she had. (and we had two classes together). This semester I have no idea. It's kind of scary to think about, but it's just another part of moving on.

 

Holy crap, I'm still angry as hell about this. I have class in a little while, I hate sitting in class thinking about how angry I am at her.

 

I'm so happy about your anger phase.

 

PS do some cardio 4-5 days a weeks AFTER free weights. 20-30 minutes at least. Just Tuesdays isn't enough.

 

Also learn to do squats and dead lifts. You need to talk to the gym rats and ask for help routines etcetera

[Bando89]

****. ****. ****. One is finally in a not so bad mood after the weekend, opens facebook and sees some of your fb friends tagged in pictures of an event where your ex was, and she's also there in the pictures, making out with his new guy, looking happy with her friends, as you never existed. I hope one day she'll feel the same pain I'm feeling now.

[Harradin]

PS do some cardio 4-5 days a weeks AFTER free weights. 20-30 minutes at least.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't splitting the cardio and the weights (ie cardio Monday, weights Tuesday) be more beneficial? After weights I usually do a 10 minute run to cool down and it works for me.

[McDonald]

I know how you feel, last semester I knew where my ex would be and what classes she had. (and we had two classes together). This semester I have no idea. It's kind of scary to think about, but it's just another part of moving on.

 

Holy crap, I'm still angry as hell about this. I have class in a little while, I hate sitting in class thinking about how angry I am at her.

 

Yea I bet it wil be weird next quarter (my schools on the quarter system not semester). It's like the final part of her that I know about will be gone. I guess that's a good thing for me though.

 

I hate being distracted by this whole thing while I'm in class too. I jut want to tell at her "stop making me ruin my life!"

[cavalier99]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't splitting the cardio and the weights (ie cardio Monday, weights Tuesday) be more beneficial? After weights I usually do a 10 minute run to cool down and it works for me.

 

I think that fine too. If you go to to gym just for cardio.

 

I sometimes go to gym just for cardio. But often I just do the cardio after my weight workouts to knock it all out. I don't think it hurts at all to do it after the workout. Just my experience.

[Chi townD]

The theory behind doing a cardio and a weight program together in one day is this. It's speculated that about the first 20-30 minutes of your work out is that you are burning off your glucose reverses. Energy that has been stored up in your body through sugars. So, people do 20-30 minutes of cardio first to burn off that glucose reserve. Then, they hit the weights. Well, you need energy to move the weight and since your glucose reserve is depleaded, your body goes after the fat reserves you have in order to get the energy to move the weight. To be honest, it's theory, but some people swear by it to cut weight.

 

Regardless, just being in the gym and getting your body moving is going to have some benefit.

[cavalier99]

The theory behind doing a cardio and a weight program together in one day is this. It's speculated that about the first 20-30 minutes of your work out is that you are burning off your glucose reverses. Energy that has been stored up in your body through sugars. So, people do 20-30 minutes of cardio first to burn off that glucose reserve. Then, they hit the weights. Well, you need energy to move the weight and since your glucose reserve is depleaded, your body goes after the fat reserves you have in order to get the energy to move the weight. To be honest, it's theory, but some people swear by it to cut weight.

 

Regardless, just being in the gym and getting your body moving is going to have some benefit.

 

Ive heard this but have also heard your much more likely to get injured doing a lot of free weights after cardio. I always do cardio after to minimise risk of injury. I need all my energy for the weights and just start right up.

[McDonald]

Your body has a self regulating glucose mechanism per say. Without getting all fancy:

After a meal your glucose level will rise. Then your body produces insulin to lower it. When it gets too low, your body releases glycogen from the liver to raise your glucose level back up. So unless you have really high blood sugar levels... I wouldn't really worry about factoring in your glucose level with your workout

Edited March 12, 2013 by McDonald

[McDonald]

Because of the drink-food your body will have a high glucose level. So your body begins to lower it back to its normal state. However if you are working out at the same time... Then your are also physically depleating your glucose level with the workout. Your body will feel amped up at first... So you will work out with more intensity... But then you will crash and in the end won't get as good of a workout on as one who didn't consume any sugars before hand.

Edited March 12, 2013 by McDonald

[na49]

Dammit guys, why is this sh*t so confusing?

 

Anyway I did triceps and then 30 minutes of cardio today.

 

I also thought I saw my ex outside but it probably wasn't her. Just my eyes playing tricks on me again. Every girl looks like her and she walks a certain way that I can tell if it's her. (wow I don't sound like a creepy stalker at all!)

 

I find myself getting so close to just feeling super depressed and missing her, but I just haven't gotten there. I do miss her and everything, but not enough to have it ruin my entire day. What is wrong with me?

[McDonald]

Dammit guys, why is this sh*t so confusing?

 

Anyway I did triceps and then 30 minutes of cardio today.

 

I also thought I saw my ex outside but it probably wasn't her. Just my eyes playing tricks on me again. Every girl looks like her and she walks a certain way that I can tell if it's her. (wow I don't sound like a creepy stalker at all!)

 

I find myself getting so close to just feeling super depressed and missing her, but I just haven't gotten there. I do miss her and everything, but not enough to have it ruin my entire day. What is wrong with me?

 

nooooooooo you dont miss her you miss the idea of the realitionship, Na.

But she is your idea of a relationship--- therefore shes on your mind.

 

 

Its the eact same thing as me. Also.... Im starting to feel like I could really just be missing the s*x. She was my first... and so I never really had to "work at it" to get it. it was there for me everyday if you know what i mean.

 

Now, I have to actaully talk to other girls and get to another level with them?? What is this!!!! Its so difficult now!!!!

 

However, I think once I find that one lady.. even if it is a one night stand... ill pretty much be done with my ex.

 

Because I was single my first quarter in college.. and i had a blast, Im sure I can have fun with it again.

 

Sing this with me:

Na Na Na Na

Na Na Na Na

Hey Hey Hey

Goodbye!

[na49]

I definitely miss the sex. I haven't had any in 5 months now and I'm hungry!

 

No but seriously, I miss the friendship the most. I miss the closeness of being more than just her friend. I miss her being my best friend (because that's what she became, when I told her she told me that I wasn't her best friend. This rock star was. Ouch! Girls have one million best friends though, so I shouldn't take that to heart) I miss all of the parts of the relationship and I just wonder if I replaced her with another girl that I was into. Would I really still miss her? Probably not. It's like you said, all I think of when I think of myself in a relationship is her.

 

I need to find out how to be happy about being single. I was reading my self help book last night and one thing stuck with me. "The people who are able to be single, are the ones who are ready for marriage" Now obviously that's a bit extreme for me and you, but in our situations, when we're able to be single, we'll be ready to date again.

[McDonald]

when we're able to be single, we'll be ready to date again.

 

 

Funny because I feel like when Im ready to be single... im ready to be single and not want a relationship haha.

 

But I do understand what it is trying to say. Just have to become happy with ones self so that if theis were to happen again... we wouldnt feel so needy.. we know that we can do it on our own.

 

But yea I remember my ex saying things like "you rreally are my closest friend here" "my best friend" and thats before we are dating..

 

And yea I miss the sex big time.. we were having sex at least once a day!

 

And I just cant see my self "hooking up" with other girls or kissing other girls... like how do you do that? go from one to the other so fast.... well they did it I guess right?

 

Like it was all so perfect and if I kiss another girl and it isnt like perfect locking lips... then Im going be like "F THIS"... "wehre are the fireworks at?"

[na49]

I'd imagine girls don't just hook up like that with anyone, so you have to be a certain kind of person. I don't think I'm that kind of person as much as I would love to be.

 

Damn, I'm thinking of her more than I have in almost a week. These thoughts seriously need to go... I don't want someone who doesn't want me.

[McDonald]

because I live in my fraternity house I see a lot of random hookups every weekend lol. But after having a girlfriend i just cant see my self subjecting to that..

[na49]

I'd imagine there are a lot of parties right? Probably a good way of putting yourself out there once you're ready.

 

I wish I wasn't so freaking shy. When I do start a conversation, I rarely can ever hold it for long before I get anxious and give one word answers and then the conversation just ends.

[McDonald]

Yea there are TONS of parties.. with literally hundreds of girls. But see im shy too... so it doesnt help... I was doing fine when I had a girlfriend... I could talk to all these girls... and even when i didnt have a girlfriend the first quarter I as able to meet all these people!!! but I feel like that is because she told me she liked me the 2nd week of school.. So i had this big boost of confidence. Now Im alone... and it seems everyone has already created their little groups...

[na49]

Once you get your confidence back, you'll be in a really good spot dude. Plus, it's much easier to socialize after you get a few drinks in you.

 

I know how you feel about not having a group. I missed out on chances to meet new people last semester. No one knew anyone because we were all new to the school. During our school's orientation I hung out with my ex. The entire time. When she left, I sat around and waited for her to come back. (pathetic I know..) The whole point of those orientations are to meet new people which my ex did and I didn't. Completely my fault. Now people have made there little "cliques". I've got a few friends, but not a group.

 

It's all about getting yourself out there. It's definitely not as hard as we make it out to be. but when you're so afraid of being judged and being rejected, it feels impossible.

[McDonald]

Once you get your confidence back, you'll be in a really good spot dude. Plus, it's much easier to socialize after you get a few drinks in you.

 

I know how you feel about not having a group. I missed out on chances to meet new people last semester. No one knew anyone because we were all new to the school. During our school's orientation I hung out with my ex. The entire time. When she left, I sat around and waited for her to come back. (pathetic I know..) The whole point of those orientations are to meet new people which my ex did and I didn't. Completely my fault. Now people have made there little "cliques". I've got a few friends, but not a group.

 

It's all about getting yourself out there. It's definitely not as hard as we make it out to be. but when you're so afraid of being judged and being rejected, it feels impossible.

 

Yea I just feel like everyones made their cliques already.. I know such a highschool idea lol.

 

I mean sure I have a bunch of brothers here... but like we are on probation for something stupid and our chapter may get kicked off.. This is all happening at the same time as the BU? what going on!!!! everything I built my life around last year is just falling apart. so it sucks big time.

 

I wish I could tell her all this... cause she has no idea... no idea about all this other stuff that is making it hard for me to move on... like my roomate might not be able to afford the place next year... so now I dont even really have a place to live.. see, its this sh*t thats making it hard to movveee on. And it sucks

 

No... its not making it hard to move on.. I feel like I am.. but I dont want to?

[suladas]

I hate to burst your guys bubble on sex with someone new thing, but it didn't do anything for me really. Maybe because the sex didn't compare and she wasn't anywhere nearly attractive as my ex. But my ex was my first, and having sex with someone new didn't really help. Sure it was nice to have sex with no emotion attached, but it didn't help me get over my ex anymore. In a way it almost screwed me up more, because I felt weird having sex with someone with absolutely no emotion attached, and feeling nothing towards them.

 

I don't know about others, but even at 8 months I don't know if i'm completely over her. Sure I go about my life like normal as possible now, but I will never be the same as before dating her. Sure I don't think about her much, and when I do it doesn't hurt, but the thoughts still linger. I'm sure it's partly because she's right next door and I will never completely forget her as long as she's right there.

 

I am sure if enough time passed the thoughts will be gone, or in a relationship with someone new that is awesome. More then anything I think I just learned to cope with the pain and put it aside and keep living.

 

But the good parts? My confidence has never been higher. On saturday night I was talking to a pretty good looking girl without a second thought, I wasn't wondering anything or second guessing myself. I was thinking she's into me, not being self-conscience. I look in the mirror and i'm pretty happy with how I look and I know I will find someone good again.

 

But ya, just take a chance and put yourself out there to meet someone new. It's not as scary as you think it will be.

[McDonald]

Im not counting on the random sex with someone else to make me immedtialy bounce back. Im looking at it as more of a way to say.. alright... she isnt the only one etc.

 

to show me that there are others out there and with that.. others out there for a relationship.

[na49]

I don't know how I could have sex with someone that I'm not in love with. I'd rather be having sex with someone I'm in love with because then I know I'm exclusive. (well that's what I thought at least )

 

Today is definitely the worst day I've had in a week. Today my school is having a concert and she's in choir. So I'm just thinking about how I would have been going to it tonight to see her. I have flashbacks to when we were together, sitting in the crowd watching her, having her look over at me and smiling and me smiling back. Then I saw her friends today and look at them, they look at me and keep walking. It hurts me for some reason even though these people aren't my friends. They're hers. It makes me feel like they all think that I'm the bad guy. I just want that innocent girl back but she doesn't exist..

 

Gah I'm tearing up writing this. This is pathetic. I gotta go to work soon too!