Why do I feel worse?

[cavalier99]

Of course he cant trust her. There are no second chances after what she pulled. He should NEVER go back. It will be a disater. He has grown too much and she is the same immature little girl.

[boblet]

Wow this is definitely the most interesting thread on LS o_O

 

Na, hope you keep your head on, can't imagine what that must be like. receiving that text... but I concur with everyone for sure, she CHEATED on you and you deserve better.. I hope your progress doesn't come to a halt... imagine going through those emotions a second/third time (I say third because she cheated).... not worth it for someone who walked all over your heart...

[cavalier99]

Hi boblet! Cav

[Toddbt12y1]

Without remorse, there is no healing and foundation for the trust to be rebuilt. Its a risk thought bc you never know what another person is truely thinking or feeling. Id give it another shot if you are up to it. Seems like the rose colored glasses are off and your not as excited as you thought youd be.

 

I could definitely see.my narcissistic ex saying that exactly and more, but.not.feeling a word of it....so the real question is do you trust her??!

 

 

Easy to tell what she is thinking. When she shifts some of that blame to both their stubborn ways; or when she brushes off what she did, with something: "Stress." Easy to tell what she is thinking. She sure isn't thinking of taking the blame, and thus, creating a way for both of them to eventually work things out, if that where to be the case.

 

I've a great deal of experience in this. Like I said, he is a lot like me...Lol, but what do I know? Isn't like I didn't give my own ex a million chances. Oh, they come back alright. They tell you some story; accept partial-blame, and act friendly for a while. It just doesn't work. But once again, what do I know these days? I am lucky if I can even spell right.

[destroyed4sho]

todd- so true. her reactions and words are not impressive or that convincing.

just wondering if its due to her inexperience or young age..that she cant express herself.maturely and fully. But the brushing off and throwing blame on him too is not a good sign.

[cavalier99]

Heeeeelllllp.

 

I just had text exhange with latina girl..crazy. I tried pulling back from latina girl who i like to spur reaction after she went a little cold and she is going crazy...like too crazy. Push pull works better than i thought! I got like 5 texts in 1 minute about me ignoring her and i wasnt.

 

Other one from sat night is texting. Im dealing with 2 girls who are stage 4 clingers!!!!!!! Heeelllllp meeee! Eject eject!!

[Toddbt12y1]

Heeeeelllllp.

 

I just had text exhange with latina girl..crazy. I tried pulling back from latina girl who i like to spur reaction after she went a little cold and she is going crazy...like too crazy. Push pull works better than i thought! I got like 5 texts in 1 minute about me ignoring her and i wasnt.

 

Other one from sat night is texting. Im dealing with 2 girls who are stage 4 clingers!!!!!!! Heeelllllp meeee! Eject eject!!

 

 

Lol, looks like you are in quite the mess. Latina girls don't play around, friend. You better fake your death or something.

[Toddbt12y1]

todd- so true. her reactions and words are not impressive or that convincing.

just wondering if its due to her inexperience or young age..that she cant express herself.maturely and fully. But the brushing off and throwing blame on him too is not a good sign.

 

 

Older women or men do it too. Cheating is not a good thing by far. Gotta ease that conscience somehow. If he were to take her back, it would be the ultimate crime against himself. It will never work out, she screwed that over. Na is too smart to allow himself to be fooled by her, anymore.

[na49]

I hate the term "rebuilding trust" but that's really what she will have to do to prove to me that I'm really "worth it to her" and not just a soft place to fall. I have given her a chance to prove it to me.

 

You guys can each take turns slapping me across the face now. Not being friend zoned though. I've told her already "I can't be friends with you, so if you're not serious about this, just let me go. I always wanted this to work, so if you don't and I just look good to you right now and you'll be gone once your stressed. Don't bother with me"

 

to which she spoon fed me the "Yes of course! I always have had feelings. You're the one. I haven't felt this way about my other exes."

 

so we'll see. who the hell knows?

[RiceaRoni]

go Na!

 

keep staying strong

[boblet]

Back at ya Cav! Lol @ latina girl, oh man looks like you got a handful, this your first latina? I'm excited for you! Is it helping you move on? Least you're getting some action now lol live up the single life! How's gyming been for you so far btw? I've been kind of on and off LS so I'm a little out of the loop, but lately I've been feeling like sh*t again, so here I am lol.

 

Ah Na, I haven't kept up entirely with this thread, but I guess in the end it's really your decision.... There really is so much logic can do in matters of the heart... I'm a little scared for you though because she really has the power to break your heart all over again... Also, with this concept of "the one", if she felt that way, why did she cheat on you? And if she supposedly shows you that she's worth your time.. do you think you'll just be regarded as her doormat and she could come and go as she pleases? I mean, how much trust can you really rebuild? She's really done the 2 worst things that could be possibly done in a relationship... cheating and leaving you. Don't you think there MUST be better out there for you? Tread lightly..

[na49]

I'm treading very lightly guys. She was able to change her mind once, I want proof that she won't change her mind again. I think I have some leverage here. She's the one who wants me back. I can tell her to go kick rocks as easy as that.

 

With this being said, I also don't believe a relationship with her would last forever. I've learned a lot during the BU and am still learning so I won't put up with the crap I put up with originally if we do end up getting back together.

 

I hate to say that I don't want to get back with her because I do. I just want to be careful...

[cavalier99]

Back at ya Cav! Lol @ latina girl, oh man looks like you got a handful, this your first latina? I'm excited for you! Is it helping you move on? Least you're getting some action now lol live up the single life! How's gyming been for you so far btw? I've been kind of on and off LS so I'm a little out of the loop, but lately I've been feeling like sh*t again, so here I am lol.

 

Ah Na, I haven't kept up entirely with this thread, but I guess in the end it's really your decision.... There really is so much logic can do in matters of the heart... I'm a little scared for you though because she really has the power to break your heart all over again... Also, with this concept of "the one", if she felt that way, why did she cheat on you? And if she supposedly shows you that she's worth your time.. do you think you'll just be regarded as her doormat and she could come and go as she pleases? I mean, how much trust can you really rebuild? She's really done the 2 worst things that could be possibly done in a relationship... cheating and leaving you. Don't you think there MUST be better out there for you? Tread lightly..

 

Hi boblet sorry your not feeling well. Are you still dating? Just give it some more time. At least your NC.

 

im doing really well. Yes this recent activity has really helped me move on. Not that I care if it results in any thing. Im just happy that in not affected that much by my ex.

 

Yes i have a lot of experience with latinas. Ex was classy latina. And i lived in south america for 4 years and learned fluent spanish. So this is familiar territory. Not sure if this girl is up to my standards althought there is atteaction and a great kiss on Friday.

 

this text echange sorta left me with cold feet. I think she blew it. I havent even F*cked her yet and she is getting possesive and emotional.

 

Other girl is cool but im not attraced. I guess I need to keep on going and be very .selective. Ex girlfriend who?

[McDonald]

I'm not sure what we can say.

 

You truste her once. She broke it. You will trust her again. You will. And guess what? THere's the same chance she will break it again. Na dude she cheated on you.....

 

 

Here... Why don't you ask your father (or some older male who you are close too in your family). Say that my ex cheated on me and now she wants a second chance. See what they say....

I'm sure it will be "have I taught you nothing?"

 

You can tred the water but you will eventually tire out.

 

 

Na.... I don't mean to be harsh.

 

But how does this make you look? I can throw some words out if you want.

 

Tell me---- how can you prove she won't so it again?????????

 

Sorry but there is just no way. That she loves you again? Is with you all the time? You can see the compassion? That was all there before the bu and she still cheated. don't to see it?

 

Stress? Na she should have had sex with you if she was stressed instead of someone else.. WTF man.

 

Remeber when I said you should tell the rock star "how do my kids taste"?

 

Well the rockstar, and every other guy she was with will now be TELLING YOU THAT.

Edited April 9, 2013 by McDonald

[Toddbt12y1]

Well. You're choice Na, and it was a hard one. Sometimes we cannot deny our feelings...

 

All I can do is hope that she will not cheat on you again. And proves wrong any of us who believe she will again. Perhaps she was serious; perhaps she just broke it off with him or he with her...and she was cold out of guilt. Who knows? Either case, it was your choice. so...GL

[cavalier99]

Im not envious of the situation NA is in at all. This whole thing basically sucks. I hope that he realizes that he really doesnt want back with her and has out grown her and this helps him move on.

 

Unfortunatley this thing seem like it will be a big side track to recovering and will obiously dominate his thoughts for quite a while. Anyway it is what it is.

 

Im glad I reblocked. My nightmare is getting sucked back in. I dont think ill hear from her but who wants to tempt fate. Better to let the past RIP. Rock on! Cav

Edited April 9, 2013 by cavalier99

[na49]

If anything let me be seen as an example that you should never test fate. I also have to preach to all of the newly NC people who think if they go NC their ex will forget they exist. That's a sack of sh*t obviously.

[Toddbt12y1]

If anything let me be seen as an example that you should never test fate. I also have to preach to all of the newly NC people who think if they go NC their ex will forget they exist. That's a sack of sh*t obviously.

 

LOL! I have made myself an example enough; but don't worry about it. Just let what happens happen. LOL....no, no one forgets anyone that easily.

[Chi townD]

Dude! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?

 

Did you forget that she gave herself to another guy because she thought he was better than you; better than what you can provide for her? Did things with him that you only dream that she would let you do to her while you remained clueless? Did you forget that she basically laughed in your face in reference to your pain? Let people talk smack about you and never ONCE defended you? Did you forget that she basically called you a drama queen and her FRIENDS were so much better than you? HER FRIENDS, people that she didn't even have a romantic connect to; she thought they were better than you! Did you forget all of that!

 

And she telling you she did all of those things because she was stressed?!?!? Dude, you should have sent her to me. I could have given her about a dozen more excuses that were more viable and believable than that! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO SOMEONE THAT TREATED WORSE THAN A STRAY DOG ON THE STREETS!!

 

And how could you go back and be around the same circle of her friends who have such a low opinion of you? Have you even thought about that? You know, the ones that called you a loser? Are they going to have a revelation and their opinion is going to change 180 degree's when they see you again?

 

 

I don't know, dude. Did she even give you an excuse on WHY she cheated on you, or is she still saying that she "technically" didn't cheat? You know what? I would just go back to NC, I think that you gave her a massive ego boost that has been pent up for the last four months. She told you EXACTLY what you wanted to hear and you gave her the words that she was looking for. The knowledge that you don't hate her. I could be wrong, but if you went NC on her right now, betcha she doesn't contact you for a while. Just my gut feeling on the situation.

 

Oh, and that comment you made about your Ex's not thinking about you is a sack of sh*t? Have you even asked yourself if this is the case? Why did it take her over four months to contact you NOW? Guess the rock star didn't work out huh? HI MISTER BACKUP PLAN!!!!! You played your part well!

Edited April 9, 2013 by Chi townD

[Toddbt12y1]

As much as I agree with you Chi, the fact still remains...that it is his decision. He has made it. All the words anyone else speaks is just vain. Let him do as he pleases, and learn. Either for good or worse...we know how these usually go - but honestly, who are we to tell him or anyone what he should do?

 

We have experience in this; he will too. Just hope he chose right...even if you doubt he did.

[Chi townD]

You're right. This is an advice forum and nothing more. But, if you see someone that's about to walk in front of a speeding train because he or she isn't paying attention, wouldn't you say, "Huh...hey dude...train...watch out."

 

Or would you just let the train hit 'em and chalk it up as lessons learned and rub some dirt on it.

 

So, the way I look at it is that I told him the train is coming.

[GB25]

You're right. This is an advice forum and nothing more. But, if you see someone that's about to walk in front of a speeding train because he or she isn't paying attention, wouldn't you say, "Huh...hey dude...train...watch out."

 

Or would you just let the train hit 'em and chalk it up as lessons learned and rub some dirt on it.

 

So, the way I look at it is that I told him the train is coming.

 

Fellas we all can give NA the "dont go back to her" talk till we are blue in the face. The fact of the matter is, his mind is made up and this is what he has been waiting for. I mean cmon this thread is what? 130 pages long and the whole time he has been saying he just wants her to contact him and he misses her etc..well he got his wish and you think he is going to tell her thanks but no thanks..no chance. He should but he won't bc the pain was too intense without her. I know, we all know and most importantly he knows that she betrayed him, cheated on him, dumped him and humiliated him..but heres the rub...he doesnt give a F*ck. He says he cares but he just wants her back in his life so dam bad that all the ****t she did just doesnt matter. Either way I hope it works and she treats you right, you are a nice guy and all the advise in the world isnt going to stop you when youve wanted something for so long and you finally got it.

[McDonald]

I just dont understand it. Na I thought you were stronger than me..

 

I never had the balls to block her number, to block her facebook.

 

Yet.. ugh IDK what else to say. Your minds made up. Best of luck to you

[cavalier99]

Fellas we all can give NA the "dont go back to her" talk till we are blue in the face. The fact of the matter is, his mind is made up and this is what he has been waiting for. I mean cmon this thread is what? 130 pages long and the whole time he has been saying he just wants her to contact him and he misses her etc..well he got his wish and you think he is going to tell her thanks but no thanks..no chance. He should but he won't bc the pain was too intense without her. I know, we all know and most importantly he knows that she betrayed him, cheated on him, dumped him and humiliated him..but heres the rub...he doesnt give a F*ck. He says he cares but he just wants her back in his life so dam bad that all the ****t she did just doesnt matter. Either way I hope it works and she treats you right, you are a nice guy and all the advise in the world isnt going to stop you when youve wanted something for so long and you finally got it.

 

Im not so sure they are getting back together. She and/or NA could both flake and this thing may crash and burn pretty quick once the reality of trying again sets in. I guess time will tell.

[McDonald]

wait let me rephrase.

 

Na Im not saying you are not stronger than me... It just you went back so easy after doing more ways of NC than myself... if my ex came back, i dont know if I would be resentful either now.

 

She wont though as I saw her AGAIn today with him .SMH